[silver_moon]

Why is it that if you get REALLY depressed on an evening/night it drags on for what seems like forever?
All I wanna do is sleep... to shut out all this mess and shut down for a few peaceful hours. But, of course, the depression won't let me sleep. I feel sick and numb, can hear noises in my head, sometimes voices, and I just don't feel human or like I'm here at all. Every time I close my eyes, it's distressing and the noises are louder. My head feels like it's floating, like I've got pins and needles. All I want to do is sleep, make it go away, but it won't. I know how to make it go away... but I can't give in to it... got to fight. My chest starts to hurt and I feel terrible... the anxiety distracts me from the depression in a way and I 'calm down' although I don't feel calm... ears and head are still tense, can feel my pulse, and I'm now freezing. I've been like this at least 2 hours tonight, seems like more... but at least it's over. Exhausted from being so depressed and anxious, here's my chance to sleep.

[Defective]

Im the same way, night time is always the pits for me too. I think its because it is so quiet and youre *supposed* to be sleeping that it adds to the stress. Nothings on tv and everyone is asleep its hard to distract yourself from yourself. Maybe theres more to it too because if im physically sick than im sicker at night.

Hope you got some sleep tonight!

[jurplesman]

Depression and insomnia share a common problem, namely the manufacture of serotonin, from which melatonin - the sleeping hormones - is produced.

See:

[b]The Biochemistry of Insomnia[b]

[silver_moon]

thanks guys... and I did get a better nights sleep a couple of days after, although I find it rare to get a decent nights sleep.
Thanks for the link jurplesman, was very interesting and useful read. I always find it comforting? in a way when I know why or how things happen.

molly

[Perna]

I think because it's so quiet and there's no other distractions. Can't look out the window and even "see" the weather/neighborhood so there's more of a feeling things are closing in on one too.

I have a "kit" for nighttime. If I can't sleep, I do lights, special foods, special books and music, PC and other online places, etc. Usually I feel sleepy or a bit better by 3:00-6:00 (depending on when I've gotten up) and can go back to bed. When I worked I just tried to wait it out to at least 5:30-6:00 and then had the treat of an early morning instead of being rushed. Sometimes I like the quiet in the morning and working in my journal or on a project. I use to get unhappy when I actually had to get ready and go to work. But on real bad days I had special music I'd play in the car on the way to work and/or I often would get special books on tape. I'm better at work when there's stuff going on and I'm expected to do stuff.

One thing when I'm alone too many hours, I make myself go out during the day to make sure I've talked to someone in person; librarian, clerk in a store, anyone. I found if I don't do that (stay in all weekend) then I just get really weird :-)

[silver_moon]

thanks Perna... I can't stand being on my own so I may try going for walks and talking to people, even if it's just a hi. I just struggle with the motivation at the moment, I think too much of the negative, but I guess without trying I won't get anywhere.

My nights are still bad, but I'm trying new things out... music, relaxing drinks etc

thanks
Molly

[Onion]

I also seem to have more of a hard time at night. I think its because during the day there are a lot of responsibilities I have to complete and they distract me from my feelings. I've also read about something called sundowning, people with anxiety and other disorders have more difficulties after the sun goes down.

[Pseudonym]

Like a mini seasonal affectedness disorder. I think mine's just because I don't have anything to do but think, like Onion said. Stupid brain =(

[silver_moon]

Yes I think you're both right... I find that on days with bad weather I am more depressed than on really nice days... the sun helps bring my spirits up I guess, it's odd. (although living in england with it's 'glorious' weather there aren't so many sunny day's at the moment) I also used to get worse in winter, but now it's whole year round.
But when I've got nothing to do but think it often gets out of control 'cause I think the wrong things

Molly

oh.. and welcome to PC onion