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#1
Mar 27, 2008, 10:20 AM
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so, she's decided to have a bad day... guess she has plenty of reasons... if she hadnt drove drunk that one time tho...
i told her i hope she day gets better... kill 'em with kindness 
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#2
Mar 27, 2008, 10:28 AM
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oh ((nowheretorun)) please don't be offended but you just made me laugh...kill 'em with kindness...lol... i do hope her day gets better and yours too... ((((nowheretorun))))   ((((nowheretorun's Mom))))
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#3
Mar 27, 2008, 10:32 AM
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((((((((((((( nowheretorun ))))))))))))))
__________________
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#4
Mar 27, 2008, 10:43 AM
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thanks .. i added a video i was just watching...
hope its not too harsh for anyone... Drunk Driving Awareness Music Video
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#5
Mar 27, 2008, 10:52 AM
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Gotta admit: I thought it'd be a train.
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#6
Mar 27, 2008, 11:14 AM
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(((Nowheretorun))))))))))))))))
No one has a right to have a bad day and take it out on another person. She can have a bad day. But not take it out on you. Hope i have not over spoke. Being kind is the best way. But keep your self safe. Coming from a family of acholics. I can remember thebad days. Funny thing was My grandfather was hit 2xs by a drunk driver.My mom thrown threw the windshield."she was a baby" You would think she would not have drank. Sorry I rambled kindness works muffy ML
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#7
Mar 27, 2008, 11:20 AM
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thanks Pseu... had to check the spelling on your name lol... it hit me like a train i guess... thanks for all the support.. its helped..
(((muffy))))) ML forever
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#8
Mar 27, 2008, 01:18 PM
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Having a good attitude towards a lousy situation is encouraging. Sometimes it's not so easy, you know? But if you can convert her grinchiness to love and support, you've helped out everyone. =)
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#9
Mar 27, 2008, 01:45 PM
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that totally is the goal Pseudonym... at times i can get her to think about her own healing just by talking about my own and at times she's given good signs... but she recedes back again.....
well... she's had a tough life, no doubt.... and she's mom, so in what way could i resent her? just wouldnt be right... somedays shes' so dark she doesnt seem to care who recieves the darkness shes' releasing.... it really makes me think a lot about what it means to be compassionate.. i mean i actually have to thnk about it.. thats sad enuf isnt it? but.... i'm learning to live and feel love again.... my heart was disconnected from my mind so many years and re-integrating is pretty exhausting on me... so... no doubt..moms' health matters very much... i try not to shed any darkness where she is.... some days thats the most i can do... and some days, thats not enough... optimism tho... |
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#10
Mar 27, 2008, 04:53 PM
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Well, doing the most you can do, that's the most you can do! Can't really help it if it's not enough, but you feel better for giving it your best shot.
I hope she feels better. And you too. =)
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#11
Mar 27, 2008, 07:52 PM
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hope your day inproved
((((((((((((((nowheretorun))))))))))))))) left a video in videos seen on tv reminded me of you
__________________
 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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#12
Mar 27, 2008, 10:13 PM
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Sorry i didn't see this until just now...
(((((Darrel))))) I hope you're doing ok.... PM me if you'd like
__________________
The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#13
Mar 27, 2008, 10:55 PM
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thank you ((Jacq)))) getting thru it... shes' resting now.... all is well... i just have to wait it oout sometimes... she'll return to the up cycle again... and then i know the tidal wave will turn again... ive learned to duck fairly well...
she never hits.. shes really very fragile.... sometimes people portray the largest amount of themselves in order to cover up a small insecurity ... i think i =n moms case she feels very afraid of abandonment... i was given this 'cross to bear' .... and she is having difficulty accepting that i desire my own freedom.... deep in, she mus have love for me... she says she does.... but when she goes dark...... duck.... |
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#14
Mar 27, 2008, 10:57 PM
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thanks (((Kathy)))) i love kittens and you know it : )
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#15
Mar 28, 2008, 09:32 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Pseudonym said: Well, doing the most you can do, that's the most you can do! Can't really help it if it's not enough, but you feel better for giving it your best shot. I hope she feels better. And you too. =) </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> bottom line, from my point of view.. she has no right to treat me like crap.. |
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#16
Mar 28, 2008, 09:57 AM
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((((nowheretorun)))) 
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#17
Mar 28, 2008, 10:22 AM
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soooooooooo... she thinks i'll make another booze run for her..... hmm.....
EDIT TO ADD: well, needed some things at the grocery store... bought her some vegetables for salads... she hadnt asked, but i know she loves them.... bought her some nice coffee... didnt do it for any reason except that i love her... she can get her own booze or wait til i'm ready imo.. |
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#18
Mar 28, 2008, 12:24 PM
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Put some vinegar in a cheap vodka bottle. Tell her that if she wants the good stuff, she can go herself. My dad calls it the Kool-Aid syndrome after his brother, who had to make the koolaid once a week like all the other siblings, started making it really really bad until they stopped asking him.
On a more serious note, I'm really disturbed by the fascination with drinking in culture (well, in America anyway. I see you're a Rocky person, but could be Canada). I've found that it's as fun as the movies make it seem maybe 1/50 times, and every other time it just sucks for people. Sorry you have to go through that. Do you think it's too late to change her? It's hard to remember you love someone who is so deeply affected by alcoholism.
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#19
Mar 28, 2008, 12:54 PM
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well.. thats just the thing exactly Pseudonym.... someone told me long ago that i'd catch more bees with honey than vinegar.... so, im doing this love thing....
its supposed to heal and end all wounds ive been told.... so, after a life of quite a bit of my own wreckless behavior, i'm trying to grow up myself..... apply some of those 'wive tales' addvice heard around the kitchen coffee table in the old days.... im learning that there is still a lot of wisdom in them tho they maybe cliche'.... and im also remembering that some of those tales are fals.... so... going with the one that seems consistent... love.... but, it gets real frustrating alright when people seem determined to do what you think is harmful and you know without question that the harm you feel is spread out into the world... i still have to go with love being the answer |
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#20
Mar 28, 2008, 02:08 PM
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(((Nowheretorun)))))))))
To care for your mom like you do shows great love. Its very hard to watch those hurt themselfs and ppl around them. Kindness and love is always the answer ML
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#21
Mar 28, 2008, 02:14 PM
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thank you muffy.... all ive learned in life tells me you are right... LM
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#22
Mar 28, 2008, 02:21 PM
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you can never go wrong by loving, and doing the right thing, no matter how painful it is. You can always look back on how you handled a situation and know that you handled it with dignity, grace and compassion, something that we could all use a bit more of added to the world.
As for time healing all wounds, I think it's true, but they have to close up first. That is whatever the source of a particular pain, it has to be removed before the healing process begins, or you're just going to keep fighting the same battle. I'm having a hard time with one of those myself at the moment. *hug*
__________________
"Who says, 'Hard times? I'm used to them. The speeding planet burns; I'm used to that'? My life's so common it disappears. And sometimes, even music cannot substitute for tears." -Paul Simon, The Cool, Cool River |
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#23
Mar 28, 2008, 03:32 PM
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Aha, kill them with kindness, that's exactly what I say.
They yell and scream and you smile and ask them if they want a cookie.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#24
Mar 29, 2008, 09:27 AM
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hi Mandazzle.. yes.. does sound like a kindergarten pre-school situation doesn't it? .. wow...
ive heard that when a child grows and has their own kids, that then the tables turn and the child/parent recieves an equal measure of their own parental challenges as it relates to thier growing up and parental issues... well.. that DUI.... it really is at the center of all this.... no matter which way i try to view it... that was the turning point in my life.... and she had a choice and clearly made the wrong one.... now, years later, we're still stuck... ive done my best to be there and help her.... ive given after there was nothing left to give and then i gave more.... thats what a parent is supposed to do.... am i the parent now? i cant keep this up... that doesnt mean my love ends... it means that i wont be part of the co-dependent relationship she's trying to build... i didnt get her the booze... she didnt go get it herself... maybe she gets the message... i dont know... i do know she has an icy cold attitude to me right now, and try as i might, cant find any cause.... its really sad to walk away... its really sad this is how it is and the way it has to be.... |
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#25
Mar 30, 2008, 09:03 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
i do know she has an icy cold attitude to me right now, and try as i might, cant find any cause.... </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Nowhere, you're such a great guy, it's not you. Even though it won't make things any better and you are not going to heed my words...... don't take the actions and reactions of your mom personally. you are just a convenient target. imo you are right about the role reversal. now try remembering what you felt and thought about yourself and other family members as say a 13-15 year old.... anger, disillusionment, "why me", etc. ((((( nowhere )))))
__________________
 kebs
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