frown

Sometimes words don't describe what I'm feeling.
I want to say but I don't want everyone to hate me.
And words won't come out.
Every bit of me is scared and sad.
I want to hide but I can't.
My friends all hate me. I feel bad for my kids and girlfriend.
Because they're stuck with me.
I'm rambling. Sorry
I hate to whine. I really do.
Sorry to post again. Sorry to be stupid.
I don't like being alone.
And I hate how I hate being alone. I should be tougher.
And I hate to ask this.
But please come sit with us today
I'll pretend to happy to everyone else.
And I won't drag everyone else down.

i can sit with you Griffe. i can hold your hand. i am on my own too. its to quiet. jinnyann xxxxx

((((((((((((((( Griffe ))))))))))))))))))))
I will sit with you.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I'm rambling. Sorry
I hate to whine. I really do.
Sorry to post again. Sorry to be stupid.
I don't like being alone.
And I hate how I hate being alone. I should be tougher.
And I hate to ask this.
But please come sit with us today
I'll pretend to happy to everyone else.
And I won't drag everyone else down

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

You aren't stupid vince and you arent alone here. i understand what you are saying. i feel exactly the same way. You are tough vince. you've been through alot. I will sit with you everyday vince. i am by your side. and you dont have to pretend to be happy. just be you and thats good enough for me. happy or sad. love you vince

((((((((Griffe))))))))

sitting with you. and you don't have to pretend to be happy. i for one won't hate you for saying how you really feel. i wish there was more i could do than just sit with you.

Thanks everyone.
Don't feel you have to sit. I don't want to make anyone else sad.
I'm supposed to talk to my doctor today. I don't want him to see me like this.
Thank you for sitting.
At least I'm not all alone now
I've whined too much this week.
I won't whine so much next week.
But for now I'll sit and not whine.
Sorry for being like this

((Griffe))

there's nothing wrong with whining as you call it, it's not healthy to keep it all locked up inside. you don't have to apologize either, you've been thru a lot and have a lot going on atm.

as for your doctor...please still see him, how can he help you proper if he doesn't see how you really are on a down day? please think about it and know we're here for you.

I don't have much of an option. I don't want doc to get mad if I cancel on him
I don't want to get ready to go. I hate today
I hate this week. Been an awful week.

((Griffe)) is there anything we can do to help?

Just like to have people listen to me sometimes.
Even if I'm just complaining
IRL I'm like a mule who piles everything on his back.
And then I pile too much and collapse.
No one listens or cares IRL that I'm falling over and can't do this.
So I talk to myself or keep it all in and pretend I'm okay
But pretending to be okay gets too tiring.
Sorry to dump this.
But just by listening to this incoherent whining you're helping.
Thanks.

yw (Griffe)) you know you can keep venting here if it helps.

One quick vent before I should start getting ready to go
I can never tell if people can see that I'm suffering.
If they're just blind to it.
Or if they just don't care
Or if there's something funny about watching me struggle.
Like how little kids pluck the wings off a fly.
People around me harm me and laugh at my reaction
I'm not superman. I'm not invincible.
I'm suffering
And every morning I get up and put on a phony smile.
I hate doing it.
Sorry to vent.
Can't do this IRL because no one cares
Feel worthless and not mattering.

(((((((((((((griffe)))))))))))

know we care and you matter

((Griffe)) i know it's been said before and i know it's not easy but maybe you need to think about getting some new IRL friends who will treat you with the respect you deserve. sorry if this post bugs you for being a stupid idea, it's meant out of concern.

I know I should.
But I'm a pushover and I'm scared of angering them
I want to but I just don't know how
They yell and mock me so much.
When I've been loyal to them for so long.
I want new friends
I just don't know how to lose these old ones.

maybe you could try doing what i've just started doing recently with negative IRL friends...just stop answering their phone calls and don't answer the door to them. they can't hurt you if you don't let them in.

i know it's easier said than done and takes courage coz just the thought is scary, but i felt much better after i achieved it the first time.

good luck to you however you decide to deal with it and don't forget we're always here for you.

((((((((((((( Griffe ))))))))))))))

How are you doing tonight Griffe?

((((((((((Griffe))))))))))))

You don't have to pretend to be happy for any of us here. We understand.

I don't like being alone either... but I am right now too. It gets kinda lonely, but then I remember that there are people here that care about me, so I feel a bit better.

Take care of you.

... you can let go of RLF one at a time, if that helps, or move, and you leave them all at once.

whatever you can handle.

the good news is - wherever you go, there are support systems.

more in some places than others.

at least, you are going to a doctor today, and that is self-care.

till you return - we wait patiently
nightbird

<font color="purple">Don't worry about making me sad Griffe, I like to know if people are feeling sad so I can help them feel better.

Sorry, but I don't know anything about getting rid of friends. My friends and I usualy part ways when one of us moves. </font>

TY everyone.
Saw my doc last night. Talked a bit. I was hoping for some miracle news about my injured leg but of course that would never happen
I already forgot when he said my arm cast would come off.
Mean friend called and I couldn't hang up and he said really horrible things to me
Didn't sleep at all last night.
I can barely stay awake
Sorry to whine again.
Hope everyone else is well.

Please don't worry about "whining" because I don't see it that way, I see it as reaching out for help and expressing yourself. As for bringing everyone down, I worry about that too, but you aren't bringing me down. I want to help you if I can.

I think you are a very kind hearted, nice person who deserves good friends just like everyone does. You also deserve to express your emotions, even if it is only safe here to do it.
I am here for you!!!!

BJ

(((((((((((((( Griffe )))))))))))))))

hang in there Griffe, sometimes we have to take the lows with the highs, you're a really good guy