Maybe I'm already dead

I feel like I've already stopped living. I somehow manage to make it to work, and I look around me and see people doing their jobs...going about their lives...and I wonder, what are they living for? What is anybody living for when life seems so hopeless and meaningless? Every time I get a teeny bit ahead, some gigantic catastophe befalls me and I end up worse off than before. And these really aren't things I'm bringing on myself -- these are things that are completely beyond my control!

I think it would be easier if I WERE bringing them on myself, because at least there would lie some hope of change. But there is no hope. It's hopeless. My life is hopeless...my future is hopeless....I don't even know who I am anymore, or why I was ever trying so hard.

((((((kittymom)))))))

There's always hope. Sometimes it's difficult to find, other times it's impossible to find. While this sounds pessimistic, this is my modus operandi as an existentialist. Sometimes, you will not find hope from without, but only from within. We have to be our own light in the darkness sometimes. We have to provide our own reason for being.

I know you're in pain, but hold on and be your own light. We'll help you along the way. No one says it'll be easy, but in the end, it will definitely be worth it.

((((hugs))))

Take care,



J

Things only seem hopeless, over the years we allowed ourselves to think negitive about ourselves and we can take back the power. Your not alone and maybe you need to seek counseling, you are too important to feel hopeless, like me, you need to take the negitive and turn it into a possitive. Dreams are not impossible to active!

Here is a inspirational flash card for you and to let you know, I'm sending you a blue ribbon to show your not hopeless.

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/i-made-diff.php

Your life is not hopeless
Your future is not hopeless

You feel your life is crashing all around you. It's not but that doesn't make you feel any better.

We are here for you. You can vent, cry, scream.
But try, try, try to find time for yourself. Me time gives us a chance to reset our priorities, evaluate current situations and most importantly just chill.

It's something none of us can do for you but know we care. We are here for you every step of the way.

I relate completely to your point of view. If you think a moment, it's not a matter to be hopeless, but the impossibility to conceive any hope. Hope is not impossible, is unthinkable. Right?

I realize fully the depth of your pain. I am doing relatively fine just because my pdoc mastered a good antidep cocktail for me

Well, the important part is: suffering in company is way better than suffering alone.

I'd like to add that we take certain directions or make certain choices, because unknowingly, on some level, we need to learn this lesson for our life.

that answer sucks, I know and I'm very sorry.

it's the only way that I can make sense out of the horrible matters and deep pains people suffer. this works for me.

it works for me although it's difficult. some people have religion to help them hope. i have accountability. someone else uses logic ...

whatever works, please find out for you - and you don't need the answers in one day - thankfully, or you'd be an anxious disorder ready to happen like some of us who knew very little about depression before - say -around 20 years ago.

anyway, find an outlet to release the sadness in a positive way (like art or some way to answer your emotional needs like helping others), or a reason to hope (like dance or volunteer, some activity that moves forward) and somehow, in your endeavor, you will lift yourself up.

this is life, including the bad part you feel now.
the good part is as close as a breathe away or your next thought, but for most of us, it takes longer.

see a therapist if you can, that is enlightening. i did for times in my life i felt like i was drowning. i'm still here. and with more than i ever imagined, and better than i expected. still have depression and anxiety though, because it is an illness.

love,
nightbird <font color="#000088"> </font>

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kittymom said:
I feel like I've already stopped living. I somehow manage to make it to work, and I look around me and see people doing their jobs...going about their lives...and I wonder, what are they living for? What is anybody living for when life seems so hopeless and meaningless? Every time I get a teeny bit ahead, some gigantic catastophe befalls me and I end up worse off than before. And these really aren't things I'm bringing on myself -- these are things that are completely beyond my control!

I think it would be easier if I WERE bringing them on myself, because at least there would lie some hope of change. But there is no hope. It's hopeless. My life is hopeless...my future is hopeless....I don't even know who I am anymore, or why I was ever trying so hard.

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I have been to that phase months ago. I have stopped living for 3 months. I isolated and drifted myself away from reality, locked myself in my bedroom, refused to talk to real life friends (not even on my mobile phone), didn't go to school (hence, failed), and a lot of things. One day, my friend told me, "You have everything to live for... you might not realize it, but the reason is there." So now, I try to live. I still don't know the reason or point why I'm still going on... I wish I didn't wake up the next day. But you know, I believe I'll realize ONE DAMN DAY why I should live. I'm on that journey at the moment. ;]

<font color="purple">Clandestine</font>