Somebody tell me why...

...life is so hard. I didn't do anything to deserve this.

(((((((((((( ariesmars ))))))))))))))))))))))
I don't know why life is so hard, I am sorry that you are having a hard time.

I don't know why. As a frog of little brain I can't explain why we get kicked in the gut every time we turn around.

I know you didn't deserve this but I have know idea how to get out.

I've been told not to give up on myself so I'm going to tell you the same thing. Don't give up on yourself.

((((( ariesmars )))))

http://www.castlemountains.com/index...=434&type_id=1

Life is hard, and it's hard holding on, but keep trucking it will get better.

Some days are filled with pain, hurt and jagger edges and some days are filled with puffy clouds, happiness and roses, and I hope your days become filled with happiness and roses soon.

hang in there aries, ive only read a few of your posts but i know you are struggling and trying very hard to make the best of all things.. dont give up, i'd love to hear how you've made it thru

(((((((((((((((((((((((ariesmars))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry things are so hard right now.

BB

Still more bad days...There are things that are just not ever going to change, no matter how much therapy or medication. Just so sad and angry.

sorry to hear that aries... ok, i can accept that some things might never change, i had to when mom got crippled and i knew she wouldnt ever heal all the way... i had to accept that... it is an awful experience for her and all the family.... but......... instead of letting it crush my spirit forever, i have resisted a sad fate of feeling like i'd lost the game... i kept digging deeper into the tragedy to find a greater lesson... there are many....

mom showed me what true grit is.... she never let her handicap keep her down, no matter what... i rarely see her cry and she could use some healing tears.... but she is a survivor...

maybe theres some deeper lesson for you in all this.... i would never say you dont try or that you dont try hard enough.... but for me, sometimes the lesson was endurance and a test of my will.... i think you have the right attitude aries, you try so hard to see the good... let yourself feel what you are able to in as many good ways as you can... for me, sometimes i had to accept that maybe this is as good as it gets and i began to appreciate small, but good things around me... i think it had an accumulative good effect on my over all mood...

i dont mean to give any quick easy answers... try to keep that handbag of remedies within reach... write some affirmations.. repeat to yourself what a good thing it is you are doing for yourself and others by trying as hard as you do.. i wish none of us ever had to suffer while we do this work on healing ourselves... maybe we can rest in knowing that even tho it hurts, its taking us to a better place and we will eventually get there....

best to you aways

yeah, everyone might have his unique problems among which some are hard to fix. But we can try to build a light mood on our own...or at least we can work on it...everyday
take care

I had a disibilty exam today and he was very nice. He is going to put a recommendation for a neurological exam, because I had a brain injury and act slow and different. i read that most claims are denied so I willget denied too. nothing every works for me. it sadens me so much.

Please don't give up hope. He didn't deny you he is recommending further tests. That sounds like a good sign.

BB

But I'm so sad and scared. and all the other feelings, anrgy, hated, lonely, depressed, no happiness, everything that can be thought of.

That sounds like a good sign to me (further tests). My husband has a brain injury and he was approved for disability so they don't deny everyone (he has been on it since 2000).

Good luck and try to keep your head up.

I hope it is good news for me. I will try to keep my head up, but at this writing my head is down. Why do I always seem to get sad and depressed at this time (9pm EST) every day?

ariesmars

here I go again, another sad night. I try to listen to music to help, but it seems to make me worse. Most of my music makes me recall memories that make me sad. If it was a bad memory it makes me feel bad, if it was a good memory, it makes me feel bad because I don't get to have that happiness anymore. No matter what I try to do, it makes me sad. I doubt anyone or anything will ever help i dont know.

what about sitting quiet with your eyes closed.. you wont have to see the reminders.... dont turn any music on then... sit someplace quiet and clear your head of noisy thoughts.. you have the control of what thoughts appear there... allow only good thoughts and memories as best you can... it takes practice but it can get easier... start with one good thought tho... make it as good as you can and dont let yourself diminish its goodness with distractive thinking... it could be a butterfly or a tree blossom or a full moon... but let only good feelings connect to it and then freeze frame it into memory, always good and connected to good thoughts...

if you are having a bad moment, think about that good thing if you can... maybe have an image of it nearby to help recall the good emotions you felt the first time...

with time and patience with yourself, it becomes easier to find the good image/thought in your memory.. with a lot of practice, the feeling/image stays ever present, giving you an inner peace of your own creation and available anytime at no cost to you...

hope this helps.. best to you always aries...

Dear Ariesmars,

Just a suggestion you may want to try participating in the New Chat Groups that have formed!! People are sharing super ideas, learning new strategies, asking questions - it's Awesome! You can discuss with the group, or just listen, anything you are comfortable with! You may get some new, terrific ideas, and meet new people that will be the beginnings of a happier life!
Take a Chance!!! lol
Holmes!!!

I need to get the java update before I can chat. I'll get it soon. I tried sitting quiet and alone and the same thing happens it is good, but turns out negitive.

There is no reason why life is hard, AriesMars. We have to create the meaning out of the hands we are dealt.

It is very hard to find life meaningful or worthwhile when we are in the pits of depression.

Are you on medications? Or in counseling?

i understand. I didn't have therapy this week, she was on vacation. I ran out of my medication 2 days ago. I am given enough for 24 days and when I get near the end I take smaller amounts to make itt last 30 days. insurance only covers 1 a month.

besides that, what does it feel like to be loved? nobody even likes me.

being loved is a feeling of mutual caring between two or more people... mutual caring is the same as having consideration for others.. when that consideration is reciprocated, a relationship develops... after several experiences together a bond is created..

some wait for another to love them... it seems smarter to me to develop a self love and consideration first... we can have love and mercy for ourselves even if we are ill... you have many good qualities aries... please be kind to yourself...

I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time....just take it one day at a time....and please believe that it will get better...hope is all we have!

TJ

I'm hoping. I went to get my meds and I was given trazodone and my lexapro had a dosage problem and they need to call the pdoc to get it right, before I can get it. I have not had trazodone 50mg before what is it? 50mg is alot I'm worried about taking that one. It was suppose to be for sleeping, but I read it is an antidepressant. I don't care for the new pdoc I have. He does not know what he is doing, he did not ask about me or how I was, he did not even know what meds I was on or that lexapro was in a solution.