An impossible situation

Hey everyone,
Straight to the point, my depression is worsening, my antidepressants don't seem to be helping, and I'm losing the support of my spouse. They don't want me starting therapy and neither do I but my psychiatrist is advising that I do.
God knows I don't want to cause grief or riffs between myself and my spouse. So how the hell would it help to start seeing another therapist when all it's going to do is cause problems between me and my spouse and if the simple actions of presenting myself to a therapist throws me into panic.
I'm not sure if it's the situation with my spouse that is causing subconscious panic and stress or if it's PTSD from past encounters with professionals. My spouse and I have spent many hours discussing the situation but there is no changing the outlook they have regarding therapy.
This is such an impossible situation that I am leaning towards doing nothing. You know, keep the peace and all will be well. My psychiatrist will be disappointed but my spouse will be relieved. All in all I truly don't care if I 'please' either one of them, all I care about is how much worse my depression is getting. It's on a downward course and nothing seems to be helping, obviously my meds need to be changed before my thoughts of self harm become actions. Not that I have actively been thinking about self harm, it has just been fleeting thoughts or psychotic thoughts brought on by the depression. So no need to worry.
Just venting, Alonian

Well, if you do 'nothing' and carry on as things are then things are likely to stay the same or worsen.

Have a think about what YOU want rather than what everyone else thinks.

I know you want to please your husband and your therapist, but you need to do what is right for you. Could you talk with your therapist to see if you and your husband have a session together, that way your T. could talk to him some and explain why you need more help. We don't want you to stay as you are, or get worse.

Keep posting, or pm me if you feel you need more.

http://www.spiritisup.com/notearislosthw.html

I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma & current condition. I personally feel therapy can be hard especially if there is a spouse or partner in the picture. It's good to hear that the two of you are at least open enough to discuss to possibility....I wonder why the resistance?

Some resistance might be natural and help in selecting the right therapy for you. Knowing your needs & limits is good when choosing a therapist/treatment. I think if you do start therapy it's really important to find a therapist willing to go your speed....not too slow but not too fast. I found with certain therapist I would leave more depressed then when I first got there (I can be somewhat sensitive & defensive).

I also have found that there is so many alternative approaches to mental illness such as diet, exercise, meditation/prayer, support, etc....just recently I've decided to try as many of these as possible. I'm trying to build the biggest defense, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I hope you start feeling better soon....until then I'll send some peace & love your way!