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#1
Jul 29, 2008, 10:31 AM
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Last night was a really low point for me. For those of you who don't know what has been going on lately, I will explain.
I went to camp on the 20th. All the time leading up to it I was so anxious because last year was a terrible year for me there. I did not want to go at all. The only reason why I didn't..."un-sign up" is because there is a no refund policy and my mom would not tolerate that. So I went, and the whole week was so amazing. It was really hard though, because I couldn't SI while I was there. But at the end of the week I realized that I was getting better while I was there. So the last day I was really upset because I didn't want to go back to my house because I knew all the progress I've made would have just been destroyed. My house is not a safe environment for me. And I was right. I got home on Friday night and I've SI'd twice. I just want to go back to camp so I can get better again. I'm going back next week, and then 2 weeks after that. But I don't know what to do with myself now that I'm home. I don't know how to protect myself. I was talking to the director the last day before camp, and I told him I don't know how to bring camp home with me. Thanks for letting me complain.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#2
Jul 29, 2008, 02:04 PM
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Mandazzle;
I don't know what to say about your SI, but I wish your home life could be as wonderful and SI free camp. When you feel like SI, come and post here or PM me and I will try to talk to you and keep you from hurting yourself. Do you go to counselling, if not maybe you should check into it, they can help you a lot and get you out of your home some. Take care and please be kind to yourself.
__________________
Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recongnize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being. by of: Time for Joy by Ruth Fishel Cindy 
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#3
Jul 29, 2008, 02:58 PM
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(((((((((((((( manda ))))))))))))))
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#4
Jul 29, 2008, 02:59 PM
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what do u miss at home and present at camping ...ask ur self ? may be we can find a solution ...i guess.
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#5
Jul 29, 2008, 09:13 PM
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Down - I have a therapist, but I hate her she's mean. So she doesn't do much.
Thanks everyone. 
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#6
Jul 30, 2008, 07:44 AM
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Hugs and Prayers-Angel
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Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul... Angel |
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#7
Jul 30, 2008, 09:10 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mandazzle said: I have a therapist, but I hate her she's mean. So she doesn't do much. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> How exactly is she mean?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#8
Jul 30, 2008, 01:12 PM
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Well she makes fun of me in front of me, laughs at me, interrupts me and never lets me say what I want to say.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#9
Jul 30, 2008, 02:56 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mandazzle said: Well she makes fun of me in front of me, laughs at me, interrupts me and never lets me say what I want to say. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> This doesn't sound therapeutic at all! Can you get a different therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#10
Jul 30, 2008, 03:11 PM
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Idk. I haven't asked my mom yet because she's likely to freak out. But I'm hoping that tonight will be my last appointment. Maybe.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#11
Jul 30, 2008, 03:16 PM
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Maybe your mom won't freak out if you share this with her? I have heard many young people on these types of boards say that they can't share with their parents because of how they think they will react. They were encouraged to share anyway and frequently they are surprised when their parents respond better than they thought. Are you going to get another therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#12
Jul 30, 2008, 04:03 PM
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Good luck and good wishes.
__________________
Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#13
Jul 30, 2008, 04:04 PM
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Well umm...my parents are different.
__________________
Speak the truth. Seek the truth. Be the truth.
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#14
Jul 31, 2008, 11:12 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
My house is not a safe environment for me. And I was right. I got home on Friday night and I've SI'd twice. I just want to go back to camp so I can get better again. I'm going back next week, and then 2 weeks after that. But I don't know what to do with myself now that I'm home. I don't know how to protect myself. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I share the same sentiment with you about the fear of going back home. In my case, I was forced to drop out of school and come back to University when I can handle myself already. My dormitory is a safe place for me. I hate home. I don't even call it a home, it's just a house with people. Now that I'm here, I don't know. I get anxious and paranoid. This isn't safe. ;[ Mandy, I hope you get the strength to battle this. I know you can ;] Please be safe, and if ever you'll one time resort to SI, kindly find a way to divert your attention in other things. <font color="purple">Clandestine</font> |
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#15
Aug 01, 2008, 01:28 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mandazzle said: Well umm...my parents are different. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> How are they different?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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