i feel out of options

I've had such a bad year, an 11year marriage ended, I had 2 miscarriages, day after I moved out, my friend, leaves her husband & 3 kids & moves into my house w/ my husband. Then my only child died unexpectly this March. Its been one thing after another. I learned quickly who were my true friends, and they are all married. Its hard trying to put on some kind of happy face and try to get out there and start again. I am so afraid of being alone, I thought that what I had with my ex was finally the happiness i wanted so badly, and according to him we were going to grow old together, well that changed, he moved on without a blink of an eye. I feel like i'm never going to meet anyone, its my destiny to be alone, even my child was taken from me & i have no family living. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am feeling more & more hopeless every day, why does it feel like i'm never going to meet anybody. To maybe meet somebody & have some one to hang out with, talk to, just to get me going in some positive direction would be so helpful right now, i'm grasping at hope that doesn't seem to be there. I just don't understand it, I can say i am pretty much a good person, i treat people as i want to be treated, and any hope i have seems to be getting less & less every day. Its so hard with all of these things to deal with and feeling like there must be something wrong with me.

Hi there. It sounds like what's wrong with you is that you're overwhelmed with depression and you have plenty of reasons to be. Give yourself time to grieve for the losses you've had before worrying about meeting someone else. Take care of yourself by doing some of the things you used to enjoy. In time, you'll enjoy them again and that will put a smile on your face. When you have healed you will attract others to you with that smile. I wish you the best. (((((((hugs)))))))

Hi Squid, I am sorry for your losses. When a person is afraid to be by themselves it sort of puts them into a desperate situation where they will just choose anyone and more often than not, this will lead to not choosing the best person for you. Have you always been afraid to be by yourself? If so, do you know why? There is nothing wrong with you.

I haven't always worried about being alone, it just seems if I look back, everyone who I have loved seems to leave my life, by death and breakups or friend betraying me, etc. My son's death in march has really made it worse in my mind because he was all I had left, my unconditional love that would always be in my life, i thought then when he died, I am really worried about being alone, but I also feel like this because as far as relationships go, I like being in a relationship, I don't want to date around, etc. I'm so afraid that i will never find love again.

there is a relationship forum that might be great for you - further down the site

please feel better about You soon -

love and comfort,
nightbird

squid said:

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i treat people as i want to be treated, and any hope i have seems to be getting less & less every day. Its so hard with all of these things to deal with and feeling like there must be something wrong with me.

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there is nothing wrong with you if you are kind to others and that kindness is not returned, that is more a reflection on them, than you.... people are busy and sometimes forget to give thanks... when it becomes routine to overlook showing appreciation to others then one may feel some neglect.... understandably... are you able to redefine boundaries with the persons you are referring to? as we grow its ok to adjust to our new understandings and encourage others to assist us by re-affirming the meanings and values of our relationships...

its really difficult to do this at times but ive learned that gentle compassion for all involved (as well as myself) helps the whole transition work much more smoothly...

sorry if this is way off topic, best healing wishes to you always...