Feeling Destroyed

Physically and mentally. I'll keep this one short but I look and feel so destroyed and beaten. I'm a young adult. I shouldn't be like this. As if the wheelchair wasn't enough, now I'm stuck waiting to hear if my eye is messed up for good or if it can be fixed.

I know things could be worse, things can always be worse, but I just feel crushed. I'm supposed to be strong! I know people see my definition of strength as probably a little (or very) incorrect, but that's what I was taught and I don't live up to it. In what I know, what I was taught, to be weak and to rely on other people to get you out of a mess you created yourself is a terrible, terrible thing.

People tell me I'm a survivor but I don't feel like one. I feel weak, broken, destroyed, defeated. I feel like I'm whining about stupid problems that I should just get over because I've been told things could be worse. Waiting on doctors to tell me things is not fun.

Hi Griffe, we all need each other. It is what makes life beautiful. The only way to get over these problems is to work through them. They will not just go away. You will be able to pick yourself up and help yourself and we will be right next to you to support you!

((((((((((Griffe))))))))))

((Griffe))

((((((((((Griffe)))))))))))

Griffe...i don't know your situation but you are important and being tired is a common feeling every now and then. i cannot imagine what it's like to have serious medical problems but i'm here for you. i'm sending hugs your way..........pj56........xxoo

like u just said to me
accepting help is not weak
its human to need help sometimes
thats why we are social beings, to help eachotter and not HAVE to do everything on our own
take care...

Blue

I'm so sorry you are hurting. You're going through a lot right now.

((((( Griffe )))))

When you saw the doctor about your eye where they able to tell you anything. Did a doctor even look at your eye?

Why is it Doctors priorities and ours never seem to match?

I'm sure about now you have been through so much that you are convinced you have to caught my the meat grinder, thoroughly ground and spit out at the other end.

As a frog of little brain, I should not speak to these things but I think you are being too hard on yourself. Granted right now you don't feel like the pillar of strength you want to be.

You do have an inner strength. Just give yourself permission to heal first.

They looked at it a bit and cleaned it up a little while I was in hospital, had to clear up the infected part in the eye, but they didn't say much else. I'm going back to get it checked out soon though (tomorrow or day after, I have no concept of time), hopefully they'll tell me some stuff then. Fingers crossed because I'm screwed if it's permanent

Maybe it's human to need help but I've learned that it's not acceptable for me to need help. Other people, sure, but not me, I'm some exception to the rule- I have to be stronger then everyone else. I'm not supposed to need help, it's just something that's written into me (can't explain well, sorry).

Just want the doctors to hurry up and talk to me, then I can at least rest easier knowing if it's permanent or not Not to sound dramatic over vision in one eye but I'm *&^%ed if it's permanent, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, I took pride in 20/20 vision. I used to freak out at the thought losing any vision at all and I still do.

Thanks everyone.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Griffe said:
Maybe it's human to need help but I've learned that it's not acceptable for me to need help. Other people, sure, but not me, I'm some exception to the rule- I have to be stronger then everyone else. I'm not supposed to need help, it's just something that's written into me (can't explain well, sorry).

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi Griffe, you can change this belief if you decide to.

sanna is so right. little steps at a time and ups and big downs vince... but you can