[MontanaKimberly]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. We have a 7 month old baby boy. After I had the baby, he talked me into quitting my job as a graphic artist to stay home with the baby. Since then he has been unemployed off and on and has started drinking heavily. We can't even pay the bills anymore, he spends most of his paycheck at the bar. I have become more and more depressed, and want to leave him, but have no income or savings now, and am in debt due to his spending habits. How can I pick up and start over?

[Mahali]

MontanaKimberly,
Do you have family that could help you get restarted?
Or perhaps there are agencies that will help. It sounds like you have a good career if you could just get a new start.
If he will not get help you need to get out. The situation will most likely get worse before it gets better and you and your child's safety are most important.

I do not know about your area but here you could call the local churches, the department of human services, or a local behavioral health center and get advice or referrals. Maybe the best place to start is the yellow pages. If you feel you are in danger call a local women's hotline.
Debt can be taken care of your safety is what is important.

I hope this is a little help. Sorry i could not be more specific. My thoughts are with you.

Take care,

place

[bren]

Place;
Do you have a Womens resourse center, or something similar, that focuses on helping women out of abusive relationships? I swear your boyfriend is my ex- brother-in-law. They sound like the same person. It took my sister 16 years to finally say enough is enough, but you are admitting it way earlier than she ever did. She ended up getting help from the WRC . They gave her ideas to financially support herself, and helped her find a job and though her kids were older, offered her daycare too. If you do not have a WRC. almost every CMH office, and other counseling office will have stuff to get you out of that relationship.

I hope this helps.
bren

[wisewoman]

Kimberly, good for you for seeing your situation so clearly so early. I know there are resources to help you. I quess I would start by getting my resume in order and making job interviews. There is nothing wrong with saying you took time to have your baby. If you can find child care, maybe a trade off with another single parent? That will allow you to go to the interviews, and meanwhile while you are job hunting most areas have a child care referral service. Also there are, as others have said, programs to help you get back to work that may help with child care. Good luck with it all.

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((kimberly)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I replied to this post before but I don't see it here I feel for you so much. I know that you're checking on seeing a therapist today. Good job! Let me know?

Is there a way you can start back to work or do you need to work on the depression before you can? Do you have good support around you (family, friends, etc)? I sure hope so. You have good support here

Let us know how you and the beautiful boy are doing!

be safe

kimmydawn

[shakes]

Montana,
Please seek out some Women's Shelter in your area. I can help you find the resources if you wish. Your situation is not your fault and you are not alone.

Jessica

[MontanaKimberly]

Thank you all so much for your suggestions and support. I thought you might like an update...

We sat down and talked through things. We came to the mutual decision to end our relationship and just be friends. We will be room mates until we can afford to move out on our own.

We both finally came to realize the relationship has been over for a long time and that this decision is best for all of us.

Want to see pictures of our baby?
http://www.babababies.com/view/view.cfm?SiteID=12816