depressed?

since i was around 13 i've never really been all that happy. i would smile but always deep down i was unhappy. i've never liked who i am, how i look like and what i do. i've hurt my self before and i always tell my self i would never do it again, but i always end up doing it again. i always feel like im dirt, like im worthless and i have no reason to live. i feel like i cant take anymore and i feel like dying.

last night me and my boyfriend had a fight, and he slit his wrists and sent pics of them to me. this fight just tipped me over the edge, and i've been crying all day and i keep thinking everyone is better off without me. i feel like all of this is my fault and i just cant take it anymore. i also feel like no one really understands me, and when ever i tell anyone im upset they never take me seriously and say, dont worry its okay, when really it isnt. im so hurt inside no one really understands how hurt i am.

do you think im starting to get depression? should i see someone about this?

Welcome to PC Jessica. I am sorry you are struggling so much and feel so bad about yourself. I understand how hard it can be to see how you deserve to feel good.

I am sorry your boyfriend sent you pictures of his SI. You are not responsible for others actions. He is.

It seems that you are experiencing distress in your life right now and often it is beneficial to have someone such as a t to work through things. You may want to seek someone out and see if it helps.

Please take care of you.

BB

jess i wish there was something i could do to help you, you're a beautiful person and i wish you could see that.
what you're boyfriend did was in no way you're fault, his responsible for his own actions, not you.
You need to stop blaming yourself, none of this is you're fault.
I do understand how hurt you are and it upsets me too cos i don't know what i can do to help.
Maybe you should try talk to the school counsellor, that way you're not keeping these feeling bottled up inside of you? or you could talk to me, i'm willing to listen
ily Jess,
you can get through this because you deserve to be happy

You might be feeling really depressed right now.

But a big part of this right now is your boyfriend and what he did to you. It is NOT right that he did that and sent pictures to you. No matter what he says it was not your fault that he did that.
I don't know him and I can't even begin to judge him or your relationship with him, but in lots of ways it sounds like he's even tying to guilt trip you. Please correct me if I'm wrong. It's one thing if he just shows you, but another if he's like.... "look what you did to me, here's proof of how much you hurt me now you'd better take back what you said".... "you're the bad one not me".... it sounds like it might be a manipulative situation to me.

And people who love each other shouldn't try to do thta so PLEASE don't blame yourself for his cutting in any way.

What you're feeling may be depression, it might be tough situations in your life, it might be both. Hard to tell without knowing you, etc, but regardless you're welcome here.

Let me know how it goes with your boyfriend.
If you ever need to talk to someone pm me or post or something

*hugs*

oh ya - and as far as seeing someone about it, it can't really hurt that much to see someone. Don't expect it to be an automatic fix - it won't be - but at the very least it could be someone to talk to, or just help you figure out what you need to do

*hugs again*

Hi Jessica, you have all of these above beliefs and feelings for a reason. You developed them in response to your environment. 13 years of age was some turning point in your life? Yes, I would strongly suggest therapy. It changed my life...