Not getting better

I feel as if everything is going to the dumps, and nothing is getting better. I had a fight with both my parents today and I feel like I've failed the both of them, and I'm never going to be what they wanted. I feel so worthless and like no one cares. I have nothing to live for and everyone is better off without me. I've started to get dreams where I can feel everything that's happening, and what happens in the dreams aren't really good. The other night I dreamt that I was swimming somewhere, and all of a sudden someone stabbed me through my hand, and I felt all of it. Then someone stabbed me in the stomach and felt this too. The pain felt so so real, and I couldn't wake up. What does this mean?

I called the Kids Help Line (Australia's only free counceiling for young people) the other night. After about one hour of talking to them they said they think I've got depression or anxiety, or both. They said I should either keep calling them for councelling or see someone face to face. I didn't like talking to them because I was crying for most of the time. Do you think I should still see someone about this? I really don't feel like talking to anyone because I feel like no one will listen and take me seriously, and I'm sure the councilers have other people to worry about.

hi jessica

parents are important people in our lives... our relationships with them very likely affect us the entirety of our lifetimes, aware or not... you are concerned because you take this connection to them seriously, assigning it value, and you fear there may have been some damage to the bond.. i think that is unlikely but it is good you are aware it needs some maintenance.. its good you recognize you have some power to heal what you feel may have been damaged in some way...

another part of you which you fear has become damaged is the intact future of yourself being grounded and enjoying your life... that has not been damaged either...

because of your current awareness that matters need attention you have caught yourself in time and can get matters back to center for yourself...

listen to loving and caring messages now whether they come from parents, friends, relatives, strangers... now is a time of caring, not harming (self or others)

take advice now, listen to good health ideas... sounds like a good therapist is what you need now because your level of sadness is deep and the geography of your emotions hits close to home... very valuable relationships are involved... now is a time you need anchors.... listen to basic truths... love heals, good health helps..... best to you always

You are important enough for the counsellors to worry about.

I can understand that it's unpleasant crying down the phone to them.. but it won't be the first time they've experienced it, and they are trained to deal with it. I think they took you seriously when they told you that you ought to speak to someone.

The dreams sound very unpleasant, but I doubt that they mean all that much.

All teenagers argue with their parents. It's not fun, but they do still love you, and they will be proud of you.

I think you should keep calling the counsellors. You deserve their help, and to feel better than you do now.

(both of them)

I'm sorry you're not feeling great... and your dreams don't sound very nice at all. Dreams rarely mean that what happens in your dream will happen. But, the fact that you're so down can be reflected in your dreams... I got told (so I'm not saying take my word for it) that at night your mind goes over everything, it reflects on the feelings we've felt, memories.

I'm glad you found the courage to phone the help-line and I hope you'll really consider taking there advise... they've been trained for this sort of thing, so they know when to advise people to seek help or not. Take that care.. you deserve to be happy and they can listen to you.
I wish you all the best...
take care,
Molly