Just face it....life sucks!

Too much going on, this year has been to much to bear. I am so tired of trying and something else goes bad. Whatever. No one gives a crap anyways, right? Maybe I should just go to bed.

BJ

It may seem trite to say but u stole the freaking words right out of my mouth. i know exactly how that feels. and i'm sorry that you feel it.
it makes you angry, depressed, depleated, and frustrated. like you said, it takes a lot of energy and when we don't have that i guess the best thing to do is try to rest up. but i guess it can't be in the unhealthy way. my advice would be to just give yourself a day off, mind and body. what i figure is if you get down to that point, you deserve it.

Getting some rest might well be a good idea.

There isn't much of this year left.. I hope next year is better for you.

People here give a crap

((((((((((((((( BJ ))))))))))))))

(I give a crap)

Thanks everyone for giving a crap about me. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. I awoke too early this morning, but at least I got some rest. I had written in my journal last night and found, this morning, that some of my alters wrote, too. That is always a good thing because they don't usually. Anyways, I do feel a little better, but I can't help but feel "what next?"

I lost my grandfather on October 28th 2007, lost my mom on Feb 5th 2008, my BF left me April 3rd 2008, I got into a car accident on April 15th (still dealing the the effects and doctors), Saturday my bedroom carpet got flooded with water due to a major storm that caused the subpump to shut off and last night I got word that my grandmother (the last of my grandparents) is now living in hospice, wearing diapers and not remembering anyone or anything and won't get out of bed.

I am still crying this morning, but I have T this afternoon. I am going to give her my journal to read so I don't have to talk.

BLAH!

Thank you again, everyone.

BJ

Nothing too horrible in here, but I just wanted to be sure to put the TW here.

Well, I went to T and I told her how frustrated I am and she had me do a drawing of a beaker ( you know, those things they use in chem labs?) and had me draw sections in it that I fill up with my feelings from childhood to today. I didn't quite understand the point, but once all was said and done she said, "No wonder you feel like you do." She said I didn't even put everything in it, but that it would be full if I did.

She was worried that one of my alters might do something because they were talking about doing something to "end it all". She asked if there was anything for her to be worried about. I answered, honestly, and told her that I do not know because I don't have control over them when they come forward. I told her that "I" am not going to do anything as "I" am not in that frame of mind.

We talked about journaling more and she suggested I try some massage therapy (?) and I told her that I do not trust anyone but my BF to touch me, but I said I would think about it. I don't think I will do it!

Anyways, things are not as bad as they were last night, so I hope I didn't worry anyone too much.

Thanks for being here. I am so thankful that we have PC and such good friends to talk to.


BJ

You might check with Freewill about body therapy.

Agree with devil. Thank goodness this year is almost over. I hope next year is better for you and everyone on here. And thank goodness for this website.

Maybe take a "mental health" day for yourself, doing just things for you and what you feel like doing. Don't answer the phone or door, don't open any bills (they can wait one day!).

OK, I will. Thanks!

Yes, I am so glad there are only a couple months left this year!

My extra day off last week was supposed to be a mental health day, but it didn't work out that way. I will have to try again....

Thanks for the hugs and I agree, thank goodness for this website!

BJ

I blame me sleeping through the ball drop on NYE. I've never slept through it...and I did this year... and 2008 has been unbearable for me as well. One crisis after another and now, I'm so far down a hole that I might as well hang a few pictures and decorate and make it my home.

Sendings hugs and hope you feel better soon.

Thanks and I am sending you hugs, too!

I blame my moving to Idaho. LOL. Ever since I moved I have been through 2 losses (my mother and grandfather within 3 months), car accident, BF left me for a few months before deciding to come back, doctors appts taking up my entire week, every week for months, water collecting outside and soaking my bedroom carpet (several times) thus soaking my bed as it is on the floor, I just got told grandma is in hospice care (can't remember anyone, wears diapers, won't get out of bed, is just miserable) and having a car that could die at any point leaving me vehicle-less. Oh, don't forget the bills from the car accident that I have to pay until all appointments are done.....it adds up!

There is more there, but that is just the big(ger) stuff. I am hoping that T has some great ideas next Monday because I can't help but feel like I am going to snap if one more thing happens. I have been doing SO WELL holding it together for a while. I was so proud of myself and now.....I feel like I will lose it. This scares me.

This is too long, sorry. Thanks again,
BJ

yeah, I agree Life suxs, this holiday season that is upon us is the first of many ( un-hopefully) that I get to remember the day that my life ended, the day that my wife told me that our 16+ yr relationship was over and that she was having an affair and that we were seperating no matter what I was willing to go get help with that she was tired of watching my depression over my kinjury eat me up. Well i have muddled it over and over and have only come up with one workable solution and that can't be talked abut here
So in general LIFE SUXS!!!!
Spatterson364

with an 'life sucks' approach, what other result would you expect? congratulate yourselves! you have succeeded in proving that life does indeed suck for yourselves! so, the theory holds true ... we create pretty much what we allow ourselves to believe... i hope you feel better soon!

I feel the same, I believe that evrything sucks lately

Thanks for hoping we feel better. I have to say that I don't believe the theory because for the past couple of months my outlook was more positive than it has ever been. I was truly in the belief that nothing else bad could possibly happen as life was looking up. I was happy! I was getting out and doing things (even with all of the appts). I was happy that there is a possibility that my appts were going to be lessened, thus the bills not being there all the time....so shouldn't I have been granted positivity instead of constant crap? IDK, I don't think that theory rings true....at least for me.

spatterson0364, that is a lot to deal with, I hope you have a T to talk to about all of that! It could really help.

veronicapll, I hope things start to look up for you.

i have to disagree. life does not suck. when a person has persistent troubles and difficulty it seems like life is a bad deal.

when i lived life through my own resources the pain and problems got to me until i wished to end it all.

only God could reach me and help and nobody else seemed to give a rip about me. so God became a foundation in my life. I've had a lot of troubles in my life and i do not think i could have made it without his help.

i could give you a list of tragedies, abuses, cruelties, rejections, accidents, losses and sheer crushing pain. i'm not a "pie in the sky, by and by" sort of person.

i can't agree with your nihilistic philosophy, but i recognize the pain, it is all too familiar to me. i care and i hope it all gets better.

if you choose to repeat negative thoughts over and over to yourself it will cause you to help bring that out in life. If you choose to repeat truthful positives over and over it will affect/ influence our lives for our good. sometimes we have to fight with the last bit of power we have to speak what is true. i do care. i have seen it get better over and over again.

please, do not give up.

thanks for not jumping me ((onlyme)) its so hard for me to read about life sucking.. i agree at times i had an over view that wasnt in my best interest.. i wont attempt to educate you much.. i just hope you can get a hopeful feeling back.. it will change everything for you... i know about falling... you will allow yourself to get up again in time.. face down is no place to stay for long... sending love..

(((((((( BJ )))))))) i'm sorry things have been so hard for you this year...please know i really do care and hope things pick up for you soon.

much peace and love,
kami

First off, Thank you to everyone who has responded and I hope that I'm not the only one to get something out of it.

(((nowhere))) I would never jump you. I know you are just trying to help. I do have hope, just sometimes I get overwhelmingly smacked down and have times where nothing is going right.

I am feeling hopeful today. I know that things will get better.

(((medid))) glad you are feeling better be you, keep trying