tired, cold, completely broken. can't really describe it. it's not that bottomless abyss it so often is. i'm angry, i'm fed up, i feel selfish and cruel. i feel like i've worn out my welcome.

how many people can i trust in the world? me? anyone else? i'm scared. i'm in that bad place but i'm confused this time. i feel different about it. i'm used to being in that place but something is different. i don't want to offend anyone, but how can you trust it when someone says they like you? it's so easy to feign interest and to pretend that you're concerned. my friends always turn out to be my enemies it would seem. i can't even count on myself. i wonder why i come here, i'm not much of a help to anyone. i've been here for almost exactly a year, i've met great people, but i still don't feel like i belong. i don't know if i belong anywhere.

my place in the world, do i have one? i feel odd. it's weird how you can feel and how you can try to read what others feel. i wouldn't be missed, in the scope of it. people would move on with their lives and move on to greater things. don't have to see my t this week.

bad thoughts race in my head and i know one thing, i'm really good at justifying bad ideas on how to make this end.

[Blue93]

((((((((((((((vince))))))))))))))))) you are always welcome here
and you have always helped me a lot!
take care...

Blue

[BlueFaith]

((( griffe ))) I would miss you if you weren't here. And, I wouldn't say that if I didn't really mean it. You contribute to this place. But, I also know what it feels like to feel that you don't belong anywhere... and feeling that you can't trust anyone. I finally just had to let myself go with the flow of things and see how everything turned out afterwards. Sometimes we have to have a little faith even when we don't want to. I hope you stick around here...

[Capp]

Vince, I'm sorry...
these "rest stops" on our path of healing are either wonderful and delightful
or they stink Big time.
I'm sorry that yours is a crappy one this time.

Cap

[Lenny]

Hey Vince...

When I place a word in a sentence,,I mean it and I have told you on a few occasions how much I like, admire and care about you as a person. Many others have too....

I have seen you on days when you are all that you describe above,,and still take the time to offer support to someone in pain..

How could anyone find fault in that. Look at yourself clearly vince...you are an awfully special person.

And please keep in mind that even the sweetest cake ends up ****...but we eat it anyway...Don't define yourself completely by results,,but by the process in getting there..

With care,

Lenny

[gimmeice]

(((((((((( griffe )))))))))))))) You would be greatly missed here, you really belong here, you are so supportive to many. Even when your struggling, your posts make others feel that they are not alone. Please believe me when I say I care.

[nowheretorun]

dont listen to the lies of dark thinking Griffe.. the truth is you are a fairly good fellow with some good things he'd like to share... trials are what makes us stronger on the inside and the longer we survive, the stronger (and gentler) we'll be..

start with self honesty Griffe.. you can change what your self view is in so many ways...

thats not a loser looking back from the mirror.. its an intelligent and caring young man who has a desire to be more active in his own and others lives...

tell us your truths Griffe... let us help you stand tall in spirit again..

sending care always..

thank you all. feeling burned out about talking about myself so i'll reply to everyone later.

[sorrel]

I can very much relate to that state of mind. It's a hard place to be, I know, uncomfortable.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( griffe )))))))))))))))))

thank you all

i know i should feel like i belong but i honestly have trouble feeling like that- i have no sense of being an integral part of anything or being needed, i feel like i am just "here" and if i went away things would be no worse. it's hard to put words to feelings right now. things are hurting and strange

i appreciate everyone's kindness but i feel like the burden i impose on people is greater than whatever help i give. i've been unwelcome in so many places that it's hard to feel accepted, i guess. i should have gotten used to feeling like i don't belong a long time ago.

and seeing kids get dressed up for halloween, making me think of vlad and how he should be here, life is unfair and i should be the one who is gone - he accepted me without condition and he meant so much to me, the hollow space left in me is filling with such pain today, i didn't think i would be bothered this much by today, in fact, i didn't realize it would bother me at all

[Typo]

((((((((((((Griffe))))))))))))))

You are a kind and caring person. You do have a place here among PC, and we are always here to listen

Lots of love
Silver, PIp, and Fern

ty silver, but feeling lower by the minute and i should shut myself up and go lie down before i go do something even dumber

[Justgiving]

Hi my friend,

Welcome back!

I don't feel I belong here either or anywhere. I think that maybe we all feel this way or at least from time to time. Or maybe we think or feel we have to be perfect so to be accepted and then belong. I'm not sure about this feeling of not belonging but it's a very sad confuse feeling.

You have a very good heart. It's true what others have said about you that even when you are very down or hurting very much, you still give your support and compassion to others. Only someome with a great heart can do this. We need you as much as you need us.

Don't give up on yourself. Many here are walking beside you. Together we will make it.

Much love

[Capp]

Words of wisdom are failing me...

To quote Justgiving:
"Don't give up on yourself. Many here are walking beside you. Together we will make it."
Very powerful and wise words.
Please give us a chance to carry you until you feel solid earth underneath you. There is no time limit, no judgment but there is sincere caring and affection for you.

Peace to you,
Cap