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#1
Nov 27, 2008, 02:15 PM
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I don't know...everyones here...the Whole family and I'm off in a guest bedroom and I can here the laughter and all and I'm just off in a guest room trying to get to sleep and all I know is that I have no energy and they all know its rob, the guy with the problems and I just feel so alone...just so alone. I wish I had stayed home alone you know? I just feel so much the outcast and all alone. I don't know, maybe christmas will be better you know? Anyone else feel down and out today?
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#2
Nov 27, 2008, 10:24 PM
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its very hard to be feeling like you do.. many of us here have felt that way or still experience it from time to time... you feel badly now and it feels frightening but by reaching out for a helpful hand you will find that someone will answer you...
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#3
Nov 27, 2008, 10:35 PM
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((((((((kissfru))))))) I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. There are many times I feel terribly alone and down even when there are a lot of people around. Over Labor Day I went with my parents, sister and her husband and two kids and my two kids to my brother-in-law's cabin at a lake. I was feeling down because I had just ended a 9 year relationship about 3 months earlier and everyone thought it would be good for me to go down there, so I did. I sat on the dock listening to everyone laugh and have fun and I was miserable. I also felt out of place at our family reunion in the summer. I don't know why we sometimes feel like this--out of place amongst our own families, alone in a crowed place. Please know you are not alone; though I have no solution for you, I just wanted you to know you are not alone.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#4
Nov 29, 2008, 01:08 PM
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I "missed" Thanksgiving.
Wednesday night I felt very sad. I cried for hours. I felt so alone. Too guilty to reach out. I was stuck in my self hate and hopelessness . . . I couldn't sleep. As I often do on Holidays- I dread facing my family. I'm ashamed of who I've become. So I just sleep through it. Went to sleep Thursday morning and woke up Friday night. My family is going to be so angry with me - I don't know how to even begin to explain to them why I do these things. I'm also afraid of their anger, the rejection... the judging. This could potentially cause a 'fight' and I'll be 'punished' for what I did... they'll ignore me, make remarks about my absence, and accuse me of being a ***** for not thinking of others - and being 'selfish'. If they only knew.... I know that when I can make it to family events and parties, I end up crying in a closet, or I hide out somewhere for hours crying... Do they think I want to live this way? :\ Now I'm anxious about contacting them to explain this and it's really making me feel worse. I can't please everyone. I can't please me.
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dx:major depressive disorder. generalized anxiety disorder. borderline personality disorder. agoraphobia. rx: Lexapro 10mg Adderall 20mg Klonopin 1mg |
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#5
Nov 30, 2008, 02:48 PM
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*hugs*
__________________
 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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