I just can't take anymore sadness this week

A week ago my friend from DBT group killed herself. Yesterday my 23 year old nephew died. And today the dogs I've been fostering for a year and a half went to the Rescue to find their forever homes. I'm sad about my friend and my nephew but they weren't in my life every day. My dogs were. I know that dogs and people don't compare but I just don't know that I've ever had this much sadness in one weeks time before.

((((((((((((internettie))))))))))))))))

((((((((((( internettie ))))))))))))

((((((((((((((( internettie )))))))))))))))))

I am sorry that you have had such a hard week, I am sending you lots of hugs.

I know just how you feel about the foster dogs. We foster kittens sometimes, and so far we've always managed to find homes for them ourselves. So I am happy to have them placed, But we've had them since tiny tiny kittenhood, and I'm the only "mommy" they've really had, and I miss them a lot when they go.

I try to find comfort in knowing they'll have good well-cared-for lives and they're just cats and they're not going to remember me. and some of the new owners have send me pictures of them all grown up, and that's always nice. Do you ever find out what happened to your dogs?

((( internettie ))) I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs and love right now.

Sorry to hear. I don't think I have had a week like that in a long time.

(((((((((( everybody ))))))))))

I can't tell you how much your hugs mean to me. I'm getting lots of hugs IRL and I appreciate the cyber hugs just as much.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((internettie))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry for all you are going through.


BB

((((( bipolar bear )))))

I'm up at 3:30am because the cats are biting my hands and walking all over me while I try to sleep. It's much worse than when the dogs wake me up in the middle of the night. I really needed to sleep through the night tonight. I'm going to try and lock the cats out of the bedroom. Hopefully they won't meow or howl all night. Arrrgghh - this is frustrating. The cats are next to go find new homes. I'm not as connected to them so the sadness shouldn't be great, but it will add to the sadness ball I already have going.

My husband went out for a few hours last night and I took the time to cry my eyes out. Mostly I cried about giving up my dogs. It's unbelievable how intertwined they were with my every move and thought. It did me a world of good to cry for hours though. I know that I'll cry again but I think the deep, sobbing cry is done for now. Thanks for all the hugs and love.

I totally understand about the dogs. And on top of everything else.

I hope you got back to sleep. I know you're not meant to say this when dogs die, but can you set up another long term foster? Dogs are great creatures. It sounds like you have friends giving you hugs IRL - I should think being with friends helps make the sadness slightly less overwhelming "in the moment".

PS A good cry is good medicine!

((((((((((((internettie)))))))))))

i am really sorry you are experiencing so much loss at once.

just want to remind you that it will not stay this sad. things do get better. i hope for your sake they improve soon. i'm glad you have some support and people who hug you. hang in there!

leslie and the pixies

A good cry helped. A lot. I feel quite a bit better today, not great, but better. And I'll take better any day.

If I was unclear about the dogs, I apologize. Friday they went to the Rescue where they will be placed in forever homes. They are still alive and waggin'. They are happy no matter where they are or who they are with. That's what makes them such great dogs. We knew when we started fostering them that they would go to the Rescue one day. We just never thought we'd have them for a year and a half.

I don't think we'll do the foster thing again. It's too hard on me. This is our second round with dogs from the Rescue and it just tears my heart out each time we have to give dogs up. I guess I'm just too sensitive to do that kind of work.

I think one of the reasons I feel so bad is that there hasn't been any service set up locally for my friend or my nephew. I understand the need for closure in relationships now that I don't have it with these two. I know everyone is grieving and eventually it'll all be scheduled, but I'm ready to move on from all this sadness.

I am very blessed to have all the support that I do. I have a friend who has called me every day, my husband and my therapist as my main support. And it really helps to have all of you on PC. I don't know that I would have gotten through all this without all of you.

Nettie, you are doing a good job allowing yourself to grieve ...

xoxo

peace and love,
night

((((( Sannah, nightbird, Brokenheart1 )))))

Well, on top of everything else, now I have a bad cold. If it wasn't all so tragic it would be funny.

Still no word on services for my friend or my nephew. My friends funeral was out of state so I don't know if their church here will have a memorial service or not. My nephew's mom is so grief stricken that she can't make arrangements yet. It's really sad because so many people need to say goodbye to these two people.

I'm feeling a little less sad about the dogs because I know they are taken care extremely well at the Rescue until they get into their permanent homes. I know they are running around and playing with all the other dogs and getting the activity that they require.

I really do appreciate all the responses from folks here on PC. They made me feel less alone. Thanks.

(((((((((((((((((((((Internettie)))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry to hear that the dogs had to go, i really do knwo how that feels, I had to part with my dog, who was bought for me at christmas 2 years ago. It was her 2nd birhthday the other day and I miss her so much, that was due to bad circumstances with me and my parents, they kicked me out.

I know that feeling of great loss, even with fostering dogs, i used to work at a kennels and became quite a attatched to some of the dogs there. It really is a saddening experience, but just think: They were lucky to live the life they did with you and to have found new homes, too. Maybe you could keep in contact with the people that have the dogs now?

As for your nephew, I also know how that feels. It is such a terrible loss and I hope that things can get at least a little easier for you. Hopefully the bad luck is over for you now and things will start to look up a little, try and be as positive as you possibly can and just remember the good times

Also with the friend killing herself, that is a very difficult thing to deal with, but you've got to remember that all of you in the group would have done what you could for her and there was nothing more that you could do because you couldn't do anything unless she was to let you in, you know? She had that choice and she chose to kill herself. It's obviously had and is going to have a huge impact on people's lives, but as I say, just remember that you did all you could

Take cae and I hope things ease up for you

TPND

((((( TPND )))))

Late last night we found out about the memorial service for our nephew, Zach. It will be on Saturday, the 6th. We will find closure there. Closure will help things to ease up. I look forward to celebrating Zach's life. I honestly don't look forward to more tears though.

We don't have much say in keeping up with the dogs. The lady who owns the Rescue is just so busy with the dogs that she doesn't have much time to put in to updating previous 'owners'. We ask all the time about the dogs that went to permanent homes and we rarely hear anything. Oh well. At least we know they are happy.

Finally some good news! Huxley and Blitz, the two dogs we fostered, went to their permanent home today. They were adopted together (they are sisters). They are now living with an older couple up in the mountains on five fenced in acres of land. I'm so happy for them. I know they will be fine now.

Tonight, finally, there will be a memorial service for Bonnie (my friend who committed suicide). It's been over 3 weeks since she passed away. It's been hard being in this holding pattern just waiting to say goodbye. I will be relieved to close that chapter and move on to the next one. I'll always remember Bonnie but I need to make sure that my life moves along and doesn't get caught up in all the loss there has been in the last 3 1/2 weeks.

I wasn't really going to participate in Christmas this year but I changed my mind. I ordered all my gifts online to save myself the hassle of going to the post office. It feels good to give. And I'm listening to Christmas music while I clean up the house. I want to send out some Christmas cards but I don't know that I'll get around to that or not. I'm not really feeling christmasy at all, but just putting in the effort is helping.

I wish this depression would just melt away like the snow that covers the outdoors. But I think the snow is here for a while and so is the depression.