When it rains, it pours... (second try!!)

The fates are conspiring against me today!!! Had a nice long post and the website wouldn't respond!! I don't need this!!

Don't even remember much of what I said except that since the daughter is in town, I'm getting left out of everything! There was a BBQ at my youngest son's yesterday. I wasn't invited but HUBBY was! There's a birthday party today. I wasn't invited but HUBBY was!

Ya'll know me pretty well. What is it about me?? If anyone has a clue, PLEASE tell me! Be honest... but gentle. I'll listen.

What really hurts me about all this is that hubby won't stick up for me. He goes along with the plan like a meek little lamb, all the while knowing what it's doing to me. Do I assert myself and say "If I can't go, neither can you"? Don't these idiots that I raised understand a single thing I tried to teach them about family unity? Hasn't anyone caught on that my daughter is schizophrenic and thinks irrationally?? NO! I'm the idiot, the mad woman, the one over the top!

What do I do with myself today? Where do I go? No transportation. What do I think to keep out thoughts I don't want to think? Where do I hide? My spirit says "Full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes!!" But where am I going? What am I doing? And then my body says "Who? ME???" "If I was 20 yrs younger..." (My mother's saying.) I could rip and tear around here. Lord knows it needs it and hubby takes his sweet time about it until I get out the whip! %#@&#!!!!!

One thing for sure! I don't want to end up in the hospital like I did almost three years ago! Can't let this get the best of me, but how do I avoid it?? Sonofa*****!!!

If I thought I'd survive, I'd move out of this town and separate myself from everyone and everything that hurts me. I've had ENOUGH!!!

"Beam me up, Scotty!"

Your post has hit home here!

I am so sorry. Family is so cruel at times. I don't understand it myself. They hurt us and seem to not care if they do.

I know you must not pass the day thinking about it too much or it will only hurt you more. But this isn't easy to do. Just know you are love here.

I wish I could help you more.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SeptemberMorn}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

with love
nightdream

((((((((((Morn))))))))))

You can live with hubby and I. How do you feel about 4 inches of snow in 4 hours? Do ya like snow?

Seriously, there really isn't anything constructive to do with the daughter. Some day she will realize what she has lost. We already know what she has lost. Maybe you could write her a letter. Tell her exactly how you feel and what she is doing to you, then burn it.

As far as your husband...maybe it is time to mention something to him. Sometimes, for me, I get flustered talking. So I write things down. Even if you write how you feel and give him the letter to read while you wait. Remember to use I statements.

I'm here to help if you need me. Thinking of you today.

Sept, i don't know what to say here, sorry. But i am sory you are having to go through this.

((((((((((((( Sept ))))))))))))))))))

Sept, I am so sorry for your pain in this. i am going to p.m. you. I care and I am sorry for your pain.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nightdream}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I knew you would understand.

EVERYBODY: The talk I had with hubby about his sister must have sunk in. Without me saying anything, he told me he wasn't going to the birthday party. I asked him his thoughts on why and he said he was tired of being put in the middle and seeing me hurt. He's staying home with me and we're working on some minor but important things that need to be done around here.

The only thing I would like to see him do is RSVP to the invite and say why he won't be there. Maybe next time.

At least it seems he's beginning to use the brains God gave him to open up his eyes and see what's going on. I'm a whole bunch better now. It still hurts that the kids would do that, but with my other half sticking with me, it helps to heal the hurt ever so much.

LOL Well, when I was thinking of leaving, I was going to leave hubby behind, too. Do you have a four wheel drive vehicle? If you do, I might think about moving. I LOVE the snow but I've got a friend in Minn that gets snow bound every winter. Her cabin fever is something to behold! LOL

I've given up on my daughter. If she comes around, she'll do it on her own. As long as everyone gives in to her, she doesn't think she's lost much.

As for hubby, all I did was assume that he was going to the party, so I asked him what time it was. He said he didn't pay attention to the time because he wasn't going. When I asked him to give me his thoughts, he said he was tired of being put in the middle and watching me hurt. I couldn't ask for a better response! Now, I don't feel alone and abandoned with no one to give a rip how I feel.

Who knows if this change in my husband will last, but I'm taking what I can get when I can get it. At least, JUST FOR TODAY, I'm not in the pits of Hell.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{1Day}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks for being my friend.

That's okay! I'll take hugs! Sometimes, they speak louder than words. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Silver Queen}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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Thanks for being my friend.

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Always.

No 4-wheel drive...but my cousin keeps the driveway plowed so we can get in and out. Longest I've been cooped up is a day.

Men have good days. It's nice on those days. The others...its a lot of work. Give your hubby a hug because he's getting better. One day, he will stand up for you too. He'll work up to it.

Thanks, WW. Your PM helped me a lot. You're the only one with the courage to tell me what's wrong with me. LOL Maybe that's indicative of something?

hi tomi.....so gl;ad to hear that things improved since your first post......the only thing "wrong" with you is that you speak your mind!......i have always admired your strength.....you're one smart lady.peace julia

hmmm, I did not say there was anything WRONG with Sept here. Shared stories and feelings is all. I hate the way that sounds. Telling someone what's "wrong" with them. It reminds me of the seventies encounter groups where a lot of people took their poo poo out on other people in the name of growth. Naa, we's in the 20000's now!

Thanks, Julia. Actually, what's "wrong" is that I don't speak my mind to my kids. Most of the time, I just take what they dish out and keep my mouth shut. That's contrary to how I brought them up. Go figure!

No, I know you didn't tell me "what's wrong with me." All you did was share a possibility of what might turn my family off.

I think Julia was responding to MY question of "what's wrong with me."

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The fates are conspiring against me today!!! Had a nice long post and the website wouldn't respond!! I don't need this!!

Hey darling, if you've written a nice long post, before you hit the continue/submit button, highlight and "copy" what you've written, so if it does mess up you've still got what you wrote there's nothing worse!!!

don't really know your story but hope it is all going better still xx

(((((((((((((Sweet One)))))))))))))))

I wish I could say something silly and make you laugh and then while laughing you would feel it physically, the anger letting go of your body and a nice soothing warm feeling of rose roses and love would take over your mind and heart and you'd just take a deep breath and voilá!

No hospital for you!!! Tomi? You don't need that in your life and will you please find the strength in that big heart of yours to turn those sad feelings/events into vitamin for your liveliness.

Love+Good Vibrations, September Baby :-)

Don't know why I don't remember that! I know better, too. Oh, well. I'll try to remember that next time, ok?

Oh, good Lord! You mean it's going to take longer than 30 yrs??? You'd think by know he would have learned something! I mean, you know... "When Momma ain't happy, they ain't NOBODY happy!" LOL How's my hillbilly accent? Good, eh? hehe Maybe soon, Hun, 'cause I've had it with these games they play.

LOL You made me laugh with your "September Baby." You're not speaking of my age or how I'm acting, are you? LMAO

Sweety, if my family loved me half as much as you do, I'd be in Heaven!

I'll work on the roses and the vitamin, tomorrow, ok? I worked hard today getting my new aviary finished and it still needs one last coat of paint.

I'm going shopping for my grandson tomorrow and we'll take his gift over to him. Maybe that will add that final ingredient that the vitamin needs, eh?

(((Sis Tomi))))
It is so frustrating to live life with others sometimes isn't it???
People can be so insensitive...
Wish I had more.

Jessica

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jessica}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Sometimes validation is so much better than words of wisdom. Thanks, Hun.

Talked to my son and it seems the eVite just didn't come to my mailbox. But it's still my fault because I knew there was a party. He reminded me that at the onset, the invitations to his house were blanket invitations and it depended on my daughter and me who would leave if they were uncomfortable. YET... last year I was asked to NOT come until the party was over. What am I supposed to believe? There is no answer forthcoming from him. He wants to be angry and he'll justify his anger anyway he chooses. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was a carbon copy of his dad. I've made up my mind! Don't confuse me with the facts!!

TOMI: You do a lot better than I would under those circumstances. I assume you're doing what's best for you in the long run. Here's another umbrella for when you are being buffeted by those mixed feelings. I care.


Adieu

*hugs*

((((((((((((((((((Tomi))))))))))))))))))

I'm interested, truly. What would you do? I'd really like to know. The situation is eating me up because I'm so sure I can't make him change his thinking. AAAHHHHHH!