When it rains it pours...please help

Things are fast falling apart in my house. We have never had any real problems before except my dad has a temper. Some of this I have mentioned before.

Yesterday his mother went into the hospital because she is terminal (Parkinson's) and not coming home.

Last night my dog got ahold of some ambien and we had to call poison control...(Two weeks ago our female dog died at age 13).

My dad ( I mentioned this earlier) is having problems at work that are creating financial stress for all of us. He is now getting chest pains (he doesn't have anxiety problems).

My mom's mother was in the hospital for cellulitis about 2 months ago and then came here to be taken care of.

In the mean time I am trying to adjust to my parents' new house - isolated and not like where I grew up...

(Have not lived here since they moved) while dealing with all of what happened to me to land me on this site...being the victim of a series of incidents carried out by someone I became involved with, not knowing his background (last May through this past Jan). He victimized and threatened me and my family repeatedly and I had to go through multiple police interviews. I had never even been in a police dept. before that . I never did anything wrong.

Trust was lost along the way. For a while I believed him instead of my family.

I was his 10th "victim"...I held it together until January. He destroyed my family and my feelings of safety and control.

I grew up in a small town and never saw it coming. I was sheltered from things.

All of this is causing health problems and mental health issues...everything is snowballing.

It just keeps getting worse and worse and I don't know where to turn - except therapy.

My parents are both emotionally depleted (mom has been upset since the move) and I am an hour away from all of the things that used to cheer me up (people, places, friends, relatives)...

They are trying to take care of me, get me food when I don't have the energy, driving me to the doctor, letting me "rest".

Another member said - your home should be your sanctuary. How can I find peace in all of this?

I am trying to untie a large, ridiculous knot all by myself.

I have never been so overwhelmed in my life. I usually take things one at a time and I was doing that until January. One police interview at a time, one exam at a time, one migraine at a time...I had good days and bad until I had to look at him in court.

I am sorry to ramble but I don't no what to do or where to start.

Everything is falling apart. Literally, it's not just me.

I was told it is how we react to things not what happens, but the 8 months of stuff with that guy pushed me (aside from family problems) to a point where I could not handle things.

My family used to be really close, financially secure, happy, and in a home we loved dearly.

Things were simple - get up, go through the day, talk to neighbors, go out with friends, go to classes, go to work, go shopping, hang out with family, enjoy holidays and vacations....

I am sorry this is so long...

I can't make sense of any of this and I feel like I am "stuck" in limbo...nothing is "the same", nothing is "normal".

I'm so sorry. *Superhug* I really hope things get before for you soon. And I'm sorry that I don't have anything wise or witty to say right now, but I would if I could, ok?

Sorry to hear it's pouring down on you so hard. Hang in there if you can, it's bound to get better.

Petunia

((((((((((((yack)))))))))))))) the help we can give is lots of hugs and support.

i know everything feels out of control right now. i hope it evens out soon.

be safe,

kd

{{{{{{{{{{{{Yack}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Sometimes, there's nothing we can do except roll with the punches. Do you ever talk to your mom about her feelings and share yours with her? It helps to share each other's burdens whether we can lift them or not.

Therapy can be your mainstay. An objective point of view does wonders and it's just About You and how to deal with all that's happening.

An hour away doesn't seem so far to me. Maybe you can go visit friends or relatives for a weekend. I would do it even for just one evening, it if was me. Anything to get away from all the falling debris. You need a break from all the stuff that is happening around you.

A journal where you can just let it all out would help, not to mention ranting here. It's no problem. We're all here to listen and do what we can. If it's a nutty time you're needing, check out the chat room for whenever Bethy (Tryin2Bme) and I are there. It's always wild! LOL If nothing else, you'll get the heck teased out of ya!

Hang in. "This, too, shall pass."

((((((((((((((Yack)))))))))))))) I feel for you.

((((((((((Yack)))))))))))

Sorry you have so much to deal with all at once. Sometimes it's insane how things can all build up. Just one part of it would be bad enough, but all together, all you can do is hang on and try to ride it out. Hang in there. It has to start looking up soon, right? And no, it won't be the same as it was before, but you will be able to adjust to a new 'normal.' Take your time and go easy on yourself.
Rap

(((((((((((Yack))))))))))

I'm so sorry that you are being overwhelmed with one bad thing after another happening in your life. Hang in there----the bad stuff can't last forever, even though it sometimes feels as if it will.

I feel very bad for you. It sounds like youve got alot on your plate right now. I pray that things get better for you very quickly.

(((((((((((((((((Yack))))))))))))))))))),

I can fully understand what you are going through.....it actually sounds similar in the fact that you are having to go through so many things at the same time (even though the things I went through were different).

Sometimes we have no choice in how we react to something either.....please remember that.....sometimes our bodies just react & then a chemical thing happens & well.....it is just how our bodies respond. I was put into a trauma situation.....a victim of identity theft of my Mother & I was involved....then accused by the police of abusing my Mother. No one would listen to me.....it was like all these horrible things were happening around me & I couldn't get anyone to listen......& when the police were sent out to the house accusing me of the abuse.....they wouldn't even listen to what I said & I was told to shut up & sit down. I was pushed to the point where I feared what the RN would do to me to protect herself. At least when I finally filed a report with the police, they let me know that what I experienced was real & that the RN had information on her that corresponded to what I told them......finally I felt that I was validated. Even my Psychiatrist & psychologist didn't believe me.....I felt completely abandoned & trapped in a situation I could do nothing about. When we are under this kind of level of stress like you are too, our bodies produce chemicals that cause our bodies & minds to react in a certain way that we actually don't have much control over. In my case I landed in the hospital just when my Mother died.....because of not being able to eat (anorexia without the body image issues) causing anemia & malnutrition which took 2 months of hospitalization to care for.

When everything piles up like it is for you, all we can do is the best we can.....it does seem like we are out of control.....but actually doing the best we can in the situation is all the control we can have. As long as you have supportive therapy (which I now have) & hopefully can talk to your Mother & hopefully your father.....& even other friends & family.....hopefully you will be able to put the pieces together & work a little at a time to adjust to the situation. Your discription is feeling like a knot.....I felt like I was in a tornado...spinning around & around with everything around me spinning around too....then I would get hit by something else that was in the tornado & send me off spinning more. I spent 24/7 for 3 weeks in the hospital room with my Mother as her cancer progressed....trying to protect us from the RN......I felt like I was living in a horror movie....with no connection to the outside world & the tornado kept picking up more things in its path. Then I ended up having feelings of watching myself doing things I wasn't even myself anymore. It was explained to me as being a sense of depersonalization which is a symptom of PTSD. It sounds like you have gone through similar feelings & you are perfectly normal given what you have been going through.

It is not easy & you have my understanding, sympathy, & caring ear. You are going through so much right now.....& like I am told now....You are doing the best you can given the circumstances. If you ever feel that you would like to PM me for a listening symphetic ear, I am here for you. Looking back in the long run, we end up being much stronger than we appear to ourselves at the time......keep up your hope....& being able to discuss what is happening is a wonderful ability. I belonged here, but had to be away from my computer while it all happened to me so I had no outside output.....hope you can get some needed support from here.....& hope we can provide what will help you.

Debbie

I am not the same person I used to be. That is what kills me. I usually am a workaholic and block out all other stuff but I can't now. Kind of like drowning.

I really want my dad to get that job I mentioned a while ago. We used to be happy.

*hugs* Please hang in there, they always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I know that its rough but please hang on. I really know how it feels to be drowning, but hang on it will get better maybe not immediately but give it time and it will. *HUUUGS*