[Apophis]

Hello, I'm 17 years old and for about a year now have been very unhappy. I've wanted a girlfriend for a few ears now, but went for the whole wait until someone right came along thing. It drove me insane. I met various girls, but I never had the guts to tell them my feelings or ask them out. About a year ago I met this girl, we quickly became really good friends, I sort of fell for her. I know its dumb, but she was what I looked for in a girl in just about every way. I was finally happy. This carries on about a month until I decide to get the guts to ask her out, she denies me saying that she had a lot going on in her life. So I waited, still fueling myself with the hope I could be with her. Until another month goes by, I've become increasingly depressed over this girl until she finally tells me to stop liking her, because it bothers her that I have feelings for her and she doesn't. I decide to move along, since then I've tried it with about 7 or so other girls, all of which rejected me. All of them wanting to be "just friends", just like the first one. Lately life has seemed pretty worthless to me lately, I don't hate myself, just I try to tell myself I'll do fine with my life, but everything I try to improve at, school, relationships, family, seem to fail miserably. Every time I get rejected or fail at something I become a little more disappointed with myself. I'm starting to feel inhuman. All my friends hear about girls liking them why don't I? I'm pretty sociable and stuff, I'm kind of the class clown at my school. Still though, nothing, ever. Why? I also keep asking my friends for help, but worry their advice won't work and end up not taking it. The constant emotional distress has strained my relationships with my friends and has caused them less desire to be around me. Please help.

[JudeeB]

I hear your pain and confusion. It's not easy to be your age, not easy at all. I'll not give advice since I'm old enough to be your grandmother but I will encourage you to keep discovering who you are.

I have learned that who I am doesn't depend on who likes or dislikes me. For years I tried to be what I thought others wanted me to be. It just doesn't work. If you become the best YOU you can be then some people will appreciate and value that and those will be your real friends. There's an old cliche but it's true nevertheless, " to have a friend we must be a friend" and that involves not getting too self focused. When we obsess about our stuff too much we shut out others.

Perhaps you will connect with some folks here and it will help you, I hope so. I know how much it hurts to feel unwanted.

I'm glad you came here and shared. So many will read your words and truly understand.

Judy

[Puffyprue]

sending you hugs

[gimmeice]

Hello Apophis, it's nice to meet you. At your age these things can be very difficult to work through, I agree with what has been said above, work on being the best you that you can be the rest will fall into place. When I was your age, I jumped from one relationship to another and I never really learned to be okay with myself. You sound like a very caring and nice person, try not to put to much pressure on yourself, when you pressure yourself to be in a relationship the end result is not happiness.

[Phyliss49]

Apophis, great to meet you. I too am much older than you and I agree with all that has been said above. You seem very thoughtful and caring. I have noticed that when you are not feeling pressured to find someone, that is when the best relationships come along.
Posting nd meeting people here is a great thing as well. Lots of caring, kind members here.

[Apophis]

Thanks, I guess I can try not to put so much pressure on myself for getting one. And I've been being myself, I just feel like that's not enough for people some times. I'm just worried. If I'm not going around doing something to help myself my anxiety about my problem drives me crazy.