just a bit sad, looking for advice/perspective re: friends

hi guys,

i've been going through a bit of a rough patch lately. i see a pdoc and a T to help me with my depression, but my pdoc is on leave and i terminated therapy with the T after he got too worried about me and call a crisis team on me.

so i've been doing it alone the past 2 weeks, and i guess i'm getting a bit (even more) down. my question is this: how do you reach out for support from people who aren't trained to deal with your illness? i have told two of my friends about some of my (pretty heavy) thoughts, and one of them didnt take me seriously at all (told me to act on them) and the other didn't respond (i sent it to her in an email).

i was willing to think that the one who didn't respond might have been on holidays and so didnt check her work email, but she just called me then and said that she had seen my email on the day i sent it. i guess it got me a bit upset that she didn't say anything? if it were me, i think i would have at least said "can i do anything" or take you out, or whatever.

i dont really have anyone apart from my docs who support me, and now those 2 are down to just 1. i am scared i overwhelm my friends, and that isn't fair to them because why should they deal with something they aren't trained to deal with. i find it difficult to maintain 'normal' relationships with them, because when i get depressed, it's very hard for me to enjoy things and so i worry that i'd just be a wet blanket to the company. so i stay at home instead of imposing my company on them.

i guess i'm just looking for advice. if anyone knows how to deal with this. i know it's important for me to build up a support network that involves people other than just my pdoc, but i find that really difficult to do. maybe my depression is too bad that it'll just scare people off? i think that's why my friend didn't respond - didnt know what to say.

iam sorry i cant help much ..i dont have any advice..all i can do for you right now just sending you hugs..hope it will make you feel more better..

(((((((((((((((( deliquesce )))))))))))))))))))

For people that have not experienced depression it is hard to understand what a person is going through that is battling depression.
Have you tried joining any support groups? I found these kind of groups very helpful in finding others who understand what I am going through. I don't have any advice on helping your friends understand but I am sending you lots of hugs.

Sorry, you are going through all of this. I don't have a T. I have a pdoc that I only see every 3 mo.'s I also wondered when my friends & family would understand. I told my everyone of my illness and I was very
sad to learn that 2 of my family members thought I can just get up and forget about it.So, I was really upset and decided to forget about them and concentrate on me.NO one understand unless they have actually have been there.As, for my friends, I have lost a few. I guess they weren't really friends, if they can't support you,in good times and bad times.I agree, that maybe you can try to join a support group.
I'm sorry that I don't have a lot of advice.Just know we care for each other in this group.

Sending you lots of hugs,
Sassy

here are some suggestions that helped me: talk with your pdoc about how you are really feeling.
ask your pdoc if he does group therapy with patients with similiar issues as you.
check the paper for support groups.
try an exercise regimine. it can just be brisk walking each day. this relieves depression and it's free.
try to reach out and make new friends. most people are caring towards whatever their friends are going through even if they can't relate to their issues.
talk with your pdoc to see if another medication can be added to relieve your depression.
keep a daily journal about how you feel each day. have a rating system of 1-5. one being terribly depressed, 5 being you're having a good day. this will help the pdoc to see your mood swings and the timing of them.
i hope you are feeling better soon. we care, so keep posting to us.

thank you all so much for the hugs, guys . i am still pretty new and it surprises me (and makes me glad!) about all the wonderful support i've received here.

joining a support group sounds like an excellent idea. i will try to look into it. the new year is probably a good excuse to start .

thank you for those practical suggestions, madisgram. i know i know i know i need to get back into exercise. my life was a lot more under control when i was running each day.
i know my friends care about me a lot, i think it's the depth of my depression that leaves them overwhelmed. as my gp said "it's a life threatening illness". it must be scary for my friends to confront that, and i want to protect them from that too.
re: meds. my pdoc has discussed me trying lithium when he gets back from leave, so i guess that is something to look forward to with hope.