[anna342]

It feels like no.

Even when I'm in a good mood there is an underlying feeling of gloom, just wanting for everything to end because life is too hard.

Just wanting to disapear takes up a lot of my time.

I try and look for hope, but cannot find it.

No one has the answer, is that because there isn't one to be found? People are just living for the point of living, no other reason. It's hard to live and hard to die, because you are scared of what you leave behind. I'm not sure what I want. Just not this.

[Puffyprue]

Originally Posted by anna342

It feels like no.

Even when I'm in a good mood there is an underlying feeling of gloom, just wanting for everything to end because life is too hard.

Just wanting to disapear takes up a lot of my time.

I try and look for hope, but cannot find it.

No one has the answer, is that because there isn't one to be found? People are just living for the point of living, no other reason. It's hard to live and hard to die, because you are scared of what you leave behind. I'm not sure what I want. Just not this.

it must be horible feeling iam sorry you feel this way right now...but intimes everything will get any better you just have to believe it...

[madisgram]

i can relate to how you are feeling right now. i am so sorry that you feel helpless and hopeless. it's such a lonely feeling.
in my case the answer to your question is absolutely YESLIFE CAN GET BETTER!!
i first ended up in a psych ward after so many trials of geting on the right meds and nothing seemed to work for any length of time. i was at the end of my rope. i felt like i was shrouded in darkness from within. i had no hope...no hope at all. it took 2 good docs and a lot of therapy after leaving the hospital, but i can tell you it was worth all the hard and sometimes painful work. i had to be totally honest with my pdocs cause i knew if i wasn't i'd fail again. they told me that i was responsible for my therapy and how it went. meaning if i went to an appt. and just fritzed around not telling them really how i was feeling, etc. i could expect the same results...nothing of value. i cried a lot, i was told to keep a journal i didn't want to do but did, i took my meds as prescribed, i called when i was out of whack, etc. the end result is i'm a healthier in the mind individual, i know i'm worthy of good things in my life, i know i may have not so good days but know now how to be proactive in my mental health, etc.
please know that i'm not gloating or bragging. your pain is real and mine was too. i have truly earned the right to the way i feel. death was the only option for me at the start. i could see no reason to continue. i know today there are GOOD reasons to live.
i hope you will find some meaningful things in what i've written. i will pray for you and hope you too will gain the happiness you deserve. what i'm striving to do is give you HOPE. even my good friends say i am a miracle!

[anna342]

Life is a bag of punches. I hate it.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by anna342

Even when I'm in a good mood there is an underlying feeling of gloom, just wanting for everything to end because life is too hard.

No one has the answer, is that because there isn't one to be found?

This feeling of gloom, unexpressed feelings?

Only you have your answers. Talking things out in therapy and here can help you find your answers.

I like how Madisgram's docs told her that she was responsible for her therapy. This is how I got better too. You cannot go to a therapist and expect them to fix you. You have to fix yourself with the help of your therapist and others around you like here..........