[4everonmeds]

I have been struggling with depression eating disorders and bipolar for many years. Recently my depression and anxiety have reached a level where thoughts of doing something harmful are increasing daily. I can barely function. This has been going on as far as regressing for about 3 months or so. I went through a divorce approx. 7 mos ago. When I have the kids I force myself to function to a certain extent and they are the reason I live. However when they are not here I do not get out of bed anymore, talk to anyone, either overeat or not at all, cry etc. I can not function. I let the mail pile up for days until I have to leave the house. My problem is that if I seek treatment again and he finds out that I am not doing well He will fight for full custody. I am always there for the kids and never neglect them. I am "happy" and very patient and extremely loving and affectionate towards them. I just don't know how long I can keep this up and I don't want to lose my kids. It would devastate me. I know I really need to seek help but like I said if word got to him (even though kids are very well cared for at my house) he will use it to fight me for full custody. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and don't know what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks

[nightbird]

When we realize that there are problems within us that have solutions or at least, an avenue to pursue for healing, we have to move forward with our own courage to make things better.

That's what i feel.

Sometimes people feel less of a responsibility when it comes to their mental health than if they were to be suffering from some physical disorder, to correct a problem.

While we understand this, it is not acceptable any longer.

What happens to us mentally or emotionally is as important as physically because it is all happening within our biology...

I say ... run, do not walk ... to ones health and well-being.

As they say, he who hesitates is lost, so get to it!

(there is such a thing as confidentiality in the mental health area, and one might also care to use an assessment from a mental health professional to help in some areas, perhaps... or not)

Peace and Encouragement,
Nightbird

[tarabug922]

4everonmeds,

I say you've got to get help. It sounds like the depression is getting to a place now that is not allowing you to function even minimally. Like nightbird said, there is confidentiality in the mental health field and if anybody did give that information up to your ex you could sue. Not that that is the scenario you want to envision, just know that help is there for you in confidence. You don't need to tell anybody what is going on, just your doctors. I hope you get help soon.

Love and Hugs,
Tara

[madisgram]

if you see a T or pdoc that info is confidential. having said that, with your situation with the ex, i'd preface the treatment with "i must be assured you will follow the ethics of the profession and not divulge my seeing you."
if you don't get help i fear that eventually the depression, etc will intensify to the point that your ex will become aware of your fragility anyway and that brings up his possbile intervention for the children.
you sound like a very loving mom. i hope you will consider this avenue to avoid a future heartache of being back in court with your ex. therapy and meds can eliminate all this and help you untangle the reasons for the symptoms. keep us posted, k? we care, i care for you.

[Capp]

(((4everonmeds)))
It took courage for you to share and I applaud you for being honest.

Such good advice and I hope you found something within those words that will help you.
My own thoughts are that it is possible that your children are already picking up on your moods. Children are more aware of these things in their own ways.
Barely functioning is a tough spot to be, and I'm sorry you are in it.
Perhaps getting the therapy you need can also be a good thing. It's evident that you are doing what you need to do, and that is a plus if your husband brought it up.
Confidentiality is always maintained...

There are some things we cannot control, but there are other things. Taking care of yourself is one you can do...it may be scary but it's also necessary if you are to have peace and hope.
It's much better to do something now before you can no longer put up a good front...

Peace and Power,

Cap

[4everonmeds]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I think I will seek professional help. I will not tell my family either as I think they might tell him. The kids are well taken care of when they are here but like i said its just unmanageable when they are not. I didn't even think of the confidential stipulation. Again thanks for the great advice and support!