Trouble feeling happy for people?

Does anyone else have trouble feeling happy for people?
I feel really bad even saying this but I notice it happens to me sometimes.
I find that I have trouble being around my boyfriend lately because he is so accomplished. He is very good at everything he tries and has so many accomplishments. We met because we were both in a play together back in May. since then he has been in 5 plays. I have been in zero (I haven't gotten in to any, he has gotten good parts in everything he's tried out for) lately he has been in a play that the theatre took to a thespian competition, he has the lead role and all he does is talk about it. The competition was today and they won and now get to take the play to compete at a higher level competition in March. He is so excited about this and I really want to be happy for him, but I'm not. I am proud of him and I am glad he won because it means a lot to him but I just feel really sad too. I guess I'm jealous, (I didn't even audition for this particular play though) but it's more than that I think. I wish I had something I could do that I was good at enjoyed and could throw myself in to. I wish I was talented and had something to show for my life. I wish I could do things like he can. Every time he tells me about something new he's done it gets harder and harder for me to feel happy for him. and it's the same with other people too. Another girl I know went to the competition and won best actress in a play and when I found out I just wanted to cry. Am I a horrible person? I feel like such a bad person that I can't just feel glad for my friends. I am not a good friend

My boyfriend wants to come over tomorrow and I seriously am just not in the mood.

I empathize. My best (and only) friend is charismatic, hilarious, good-looking, successful with women due to all of the aforementioned traits working in tandem, and will be going off to Brazil to audition for a position on a famous soccer team next year, which he very well may get, ostensibly leaving me alone.

I wish I could be happy for him without harboring unspoken disdain for his traits and accomplishments--I really, really do--but as I am antithetical to all that he is and wallowing in a sea of negativity at the moment, it's difficult not to be a little jealous.

Just a few weeks ago he, an old friend of his whom I had never met, and I all went out for a bit, and watching her more or less throw herself at him whilst completely ignoring me didn't exactly leave me with the best feeling, so, not to be redundant, but...yeah, I definitely know where you're coming from. =/

You aren't a bad friend or a horrible person in the slightest. Jealousy is a human emotion and, well, we're all human. Admittedly, though, I...don't exactly know how to get over this hurdle. I suppose all we can do is try our best to stop comparing ourselves to others, and, in your case, establishing a dialogue with your boyfriend about how his accomplishments make you feel a little insecure may not be that horrible an idea. I'm sure he'd be sympathetic and offer reassurance as any loving boyfriend would.

If all else fails, I hope the knowledge that you're not alone in this will at least provide you a modicum of comfort. I really hope things improve!

Yep...been there done that...It is hard to watch success as an observer...

Let's take a grape,,,any grape...

If she could think...and who knows,,maybe they do...LOL..many different destinies are waiting for the grape..

Jam,,jellies,,on the table as sweet juicy morsels of exploding freshness,,raisens,,,medicinal ingredient,,juice,,or wine.

One grape looking at the next may feel less than another for not reaching it's destiny in "its" time...

But remember wine...it is a patient process,,where the grape becomes more than all its parts...

You simply may be made for such remarkable destiny littleyellowspider,,keep doing the next right thing...and who knows what waits for you..

Oh,,and when you see things this way,,,the accomplishments of others(grapes) are seen through the glass of acceptance and joy...

We KNOW our time is coming...

Lenny

lenny said it very well, when we compare ourselves to others we can't be content and peaceful. there will always be greater and lesser people - it is inescapable. it is hard to be gracious in the shadows when we want to be in the sunshine.

we all have different destinies, gifts and abilities. do your best to never compare yourself to anyone. a popular poem called the Desiderata said if we compare ourselves to others we will become either vain or bitter. comparison destroys contentment.

you do not like feeling this way or you would not have written in on this thread. i think your real way "out" is to help others be the best they can be as you seek to be the best you can be, while resisting the urge to compare and envy. it is not easy, but it is peaceful.

by the way, my husband's nickname is "the energizer bunny", he is musically gifted, marvelous with computers, highly intelligent and extremely likeable. i am none of those things, though i am intelligent. i have almost no energy and lots of physical limits. the constant abuse of my childhood is affecting my adult years severely. i am a creative, articulate and stubborn survivor. i don't always look too great, but i am worth every bit as much as my husband for different reasons.

jealousy is poisonous. you both deserve better. if you value this man's company and relationship with you then you must do all you can do to get past the comparisons that are stealing your joy and replacing it with bitterness. i wish you both well.

leslie and the pixies

You're not a bad person at all! I feel that way too sometimes. It's especially hard being happy for someone else when you can't necessarily be happy for yourself right now. I'm a lot less accomplished than my friends, but it's important to remember that you are yourself, not the people around you, and the only one you need to measure up against is yourself. Give it time and go easy on yourself. Jealousy is a natural emotion and like all the others, it'll fade with time.

No, you're definitely not a bad person. As you say, you just haven't found something that you can really get yourself into and succeed at. That is perfectly normal. But trust me, there is something out there for everybody.

It took me 8 years of fulminating after my first trip through college to find something I truly enjoy. I went back to school and things are looking good, but I still have doubts that I'm on the right path. But my main point is that it can take a long time to find that thing to do that you love...it's sure hard to be patient, though.

As for the jealousy thing, I have a story that might help. In my freshman year in college (first time around), my next door neighbour in residence was a real hit with the girls, while I was constantly striking out in the same realm. Anyway, towards the middle of the year he starting going out with a girl he truly cared about (I believe they're married now, though I've lost touch with him). At first I was hugely bitter, but then for some reason my feelings changed. The thing is that he was a nice guy, and he made sure to include me in his circle of friends as much as he could, since he could see that I was struggling. And then I realized that I could feel happy for someone else, and it made me feel better as well. Something really "clicked" inside me, and now I find it a lot easier to feel happy for other people's successes even when I'm having hard times.

I'm not saying that that's going to happen with you, or should at this point...it sounds like you're having a bit of a rough patch. What I am saying is that it can happen. You can feel happy for other people, and you can be better off for it, because at least you can gain their sympathies for your own struggles.

The important thing, though, is not to invalidate your feelings. If you're feeling a bit bitter at the moment, it's perfectly natural. Good luck with everything.

Thank you for your replies. It's nice to know that I am not alone in this.
I think part of it is that since he is so busy with everything he does I don't get to see him as much as I would like (last night was the first time I saw him in 3 weeks except for when I saw him on stage in his play before they took it to competition) It's hard because not only am I not out there doing things and being accomplished but I am being put aside while he does all his stuff.

It's interesting today the girl I mentioned who won best actress at the competition wrote a note on facebook saying she didn't feel like she had any talents and nothing she did was any good. It makes me wonder if even if I did have a talent if I would still feel this way.

It would be nice to have something I could be proud of though.

A GIANT hug for 'u'........