[thunderbear]

Lately I have been feeling so alone. I know I'm not. I have a husband and son that I'm around pretty much 24/7. But they're all I have. I don't have any friends or close relatives. I mean I literally have not one friend. I don't leave the house unless my husband is driving me and when he's not around I have alot of anxiety. I don't know what to do. I have been like this for 6 years. Thats since my mom died. I'm so tired of feeling this way. I don't have a psych or therapist. No one to talk to at all. Things really get on my nerves. I snap at my son. Then I cry because I feel bad about it. I don't want him thinking that I don't like him. I want a more social life but I have panic attacks at the grocery store. Or when someone comes to my house. I feel I can only function alone like this. I don't want to be this way anymore. I know i'm letting my husband and son down because I am like this. I want a job so i can have some extra money to take my kids out and have fun but the thought of being away from my family for a long period of time scares me. I just don't know what to make of this. I hope I posted on the right topic.

[brephi]

Lonley, I understand where you are coming from. You are lonely, but not alone. I am not a doctor, but I think maybe if you seek counseling from a medical professional it could help. It would not hurt. I don't know if you feel this way. But sometimes I can't talk to my husband about things that really, really, depress me. Death is one of those things. I've been through a lot in the last 5 years. One sister passed and left 6 children that the state would not grant me custody of. I have 1 brother who is HIV+... Enough of my situation. When you snap at your son, I think he knows you are feeling down and does not hold that against you. He still loves you. Lonley, I believe you have a lot of idle time on your hands and maybe if you got employment or did some volunteer work you might feel better.

[madisgram]

TB, do you know what about being away from your family is so scary for you? why does that make you feel frightened? do you connect the fear to when your mom died? it sounds like there may be a connection there.
i'm sorry you are feeling this way right now and very glad you posted to us.
do you have a therapist or take any meds for your anxiety? i suffer from anxiety and i know my med works cause i have very few outright episodes since going on the med. my therapy helps me untangle why i feel a certain way. if i didn't have that support system it would be very diffcult for me to figure stuff out on my own.
i'm glad you are reaching out and talking about these feelings. it helps reduce the fears. be gentle with yourself...and stay in touch with us here at pc, k?

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by madisgram

TB, do you know what about being away from your family is so scary for you? why does that make you feel frightened? do you connect the fear to when your mom died? it sounds like there may be a connection there.
i'm sorry you are feeling this way right now and very glad you posted to us.
do you have a therapist or take any meds for your anxiety? i suffer from anxiety and i know my med works cause i have very few outright episodes since going on the med. my therapy helps me untangle why i feel a certain way. if i didn't have that support system it would be very diffcult for me to figure stuff out on my own.
i'm glad you are reaching out and talking about these feelings. it helps reduce the fears. be gentle with yourself...and stay in touch with us here at pc, k?

Madisgram, I have thought that too. Because ever since mom died my extended family has nothing to do with me. I don't want to lose anyone else I love for any reason. But I don't have a therapist at the moment because my doc. won't give me a referral to one. All I take is .5 Xanax twice a day and soon I'll be starting lexapro for depression. Hopefully when I switch family drs., I'll be able to find some help. I'll keep coming back here. There's alot of support from people who personally know what I'm going through. Thanks y'all.

[turquoisesea]

for what it's worth... just a thought, that maybe we need more than just one type of friendship?
you've got the intimate relationship, the family relationship

but to have friends... just average hang out friends IS different. And sometimes we need that. But then... your ?social anxiety? if I can call it that? gets in the way.

Don't think about it as letting them down. What they want is you. Your husband is your husband for a reason. Hold onto that reason, if you can. Remember that despite shortcomings, you still have much to offer.

And try to find way to get out if you can, just don't push yourself too hard
*hugs*

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( thunderbear ))))))))))))))))