powerless to keep going

Why is it always the same stuff that manages to bring you down. You'd think experiencing something should make you get used to it or able to cope with it but it doesn't.
The pain in my heart is just from life. Just living, just wkaing up and fearing the day.
Another day for things to happen for things invariably to go wrong like they always do.
That four letter little word life mean so many good things to people why can't i embrace it and stop fearing it.
I'm so self consumed with worries and fears about everything that i don't see an end.
I'll be trapped in my own well of dispair forever, occassionally seeing a glimmer of light gaining some hope and then it disappears back to darkness.
The overwhelming feeling of worthlessness with live with me forever. How did it arrive without me knowing.
The love of people that care for me should make it go away but it doesn't.
What makes us worthy candidates to be happy, if i knew i'd be trying my hardest to succeed.
I am a failure of life i can never be the strong confident person i once was and took for granted. Where do i go what can i do with myself.
I wish so often to be free from this prison of depression that i guess i have created for myself. I wish i didn't have to wake up and face another day. I want to hide forever.
I'm just rambling on but i have to get it out of my head. No matter how much i get out of my head more stuff will always fill it up.
I guess i'm just fed up, and will always be this way.

I'm sorry. -_- I feel that way, too, and I don't know what to say cause I don't even know how to help my self out of that feeling, either.
Where you mentioned "..occassionally seeing a glimmer of light gaining some hope and then it disappears back to darkness..." EXACTLY. Sigh.

Again, I'm sorry, and I wish I knew what to say.

celeste,
I know how you are felling all to well. Sometimes, I have to have faith in hoping that things will get better even thought I'm not sure that they will. It's hard to do. I look around at my life and wonder what happened to the old me. The confident, well rounded, fun loving me. She is gone and I have no idea how to get her back. I miss her because she wasn't afraid of anything. The new me however, is afraid and cautious of everything. I'm so worried aboout small insignificant things that were never important to me. I ask myself why this has happened to me and there is no answer. All I know is that I have t o take things day by day and often times, minute by minute. I have learned to lower the expectations of myself as I realize I used to expect too much from myself. Make tiny goals for yourself. then when you accomplish them, reward yourself. I know it seems small but little by little you will realize that you can do whatever you set your mind too and gain more hope day by day. I hope things are going better for you today. Please know that someone is always here if you need them. Take care. Thinking of you.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((( celeste )))))))))))))))))))))))))))