why bother....

Everywhere I turn, I read more about the link between mental and physical health. I just finished editing a news story here about how bipolar people (<---waves at self) have the same risk as smokers of early death from heart disease, diabetes, etc.

I am already in one of "those" moods where I don't want to take my meds, because I just don't give a rat's patootie. I've taken them for years and they've done diddly-squat. Not only is there no "cure," there is less and less "remission" for me in between episodes. If I'm just going to kick prior to reaching a ripe old anyway, why should I continue taking the stupid things?

It's not just the MH meds, either -- I'm ticked about having to take diabetes and high blood pressure meds, and of course the d*mn blood thinner, and frankly, at this point, I'm going to be p*ssed about having to take a Tylenol. I am sicksicksick of it, ALL of it. How is it that my mother will turn 80 in April and is healthy as a horse and *I* got stuck with all this crap?

(Why yes, my moods *have* been rather roller-coaster-y lately. So I'm going to go have my 3rd nice cry of the day and hope tomorrow is better. In the meantime, if anyone has any answers for me, would you share them, please?)

Candy

Sending hugs Candybear >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

((((((((((((((((( Candy )))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((( Candybear ))))))))))))))))))))))

oh, candybear, i so wish i could offer answers, help, real life hugs, whatever.... I feel much the same way. Stupid meds, won't get better, why try, others do better than me. I get it. But something tells me you can hold on for another day. then another day. then another day. but try to take it only a day at a time. try to take each med at a time, even when it feels stupid and pointless. i don't know why i keep doing it but i do. some "insane" part of me thinks maybe, just maybe, i'll eventually be one of those success stories. maybe you can dream with me...even if it is just a dream. wishing you thoughts of hope.

I have to say, though -- it is hard to want to keep taking it day by day when the days are as crappy as this one has been. I don't see it getting better anytime soon. to you though, Tumnus, and wishes of hope back atcha.

why bother...
because bothering is better than nothingness.

And we may have tons of things we dont want, and never want to see again, but there are also those few, or many, maybe hidden, things that we cherish, that make things worth it.

keep going, sounds icky, but there's always something to hold onto - sometimes it's just really hard to find

Understanding & Wishing for Peace

i could really relate to how you are feeling right now. i got the truck load of faulty genes from my parents...HBP, BPD, heart problems, diabeties, high this, low that, ad nauseum. my siblings only got HBP!!
my T said my reaction was like i was having a childlike tantrum about all the pills and dx's. he let me rant and then said i had a choice-take the meds to regain some order of healthiness or give up and die early and depressed in the process.
ok, so i chose the former. even tho sometimes these medical dx's frighten me a bit, the alternative is not so appealing just yet. i have learned to appreciate the life i have even with these challenges. since getting help for the depression, et al. my life has never been better and thank goodness for the pills that thwart off the the dx's. i've outlived all the people in my father's family (butt load of bad genes) by just accepting my situation and getting on with living.
it's ok to have the tantrum...i cried sometimes too and i was mad. why me? than i said, why not me? i hope today is a better one for you. and just hope what i've posted will help you even if it's in a small way.

Hi Candy Bear
I think as probably previously stated we do what we got to do because we got to do it
Everyone has a cross to bear some may seem bigger than others but we do it because we got to do it
I t would be nice just for once to be able to go a day , a week a year without having to take all sorts of meds and not worry what the effects would be on us.And don't I wish right now that the kitchen bench full of drugs just so I don't stop breathing were gone. Then we get onto the all the other stuff in fairy land
It would be nice in the end .But it just aint going to happen.
I know you will do the right thing we all do we all need a hug in the end

((((Rhap))))) you get it. TY. Peace is exactly what I'm missing, and what I want.

((((Turquoisesea))))) you're right -- finding something worth holding onto is hard. Not so much when I'm not having myself a pity party, but still.

(((((madisgram))))) part of my issue here is that I've been in and out of therapy (mostly in), tried eleventy-billion meds, etc, for the depression, etc for more than a decade -- and yet nothing's really changed, when it comes down to it. And part of it is that I'm having a tantrum, yeah.

((((((daggy))))))) in other words, as Kurt Vonnegut said, we do, doodily-do, what we must, muddily-must, until we bust, bodily-bust? I suppose so. He smoked a pack of unfiltered cigs a day for decades, had a couple suicide attempts and still lived to be 84 . I'll keep on plugging away -- just need to whine now and then!