[Wants2Fly]

Hi Everyone:

I want to find out how long cognitive confusion lasts, after one starts to recover from depression? Does one ever get back to where one was before the cave-in?

I have been in recovery from a severe depression since about November. The depression probably started in 1999 and it took until 2000 for me to see a therapist. It worsened dramatically when a lot of bad things happened in 2003, and I really "caved in."

During this time, I seemed unable to make decisions or think clearly about anything. I've always been a voracious reader, and I hardly read at all anymore. Still.

I am, however, starting to make decisions again, starting to take up the lines of life again. Today, I met with a financial rep from the retirement plan, something I haven't kept track for the past two years. When he started to tell me about changes and flip through thick form, I became completely overwhelmed. He was urging me to do something that I couldn't grasp. Finally, I asked him to stop and explained that I was recovering from a "nervous break down" -- seemed the easiest way to put it.

Then he stopped, and I said I'd look over the forms, but in the end, he took a bit more time and explained things to me more slowly and clearly.

I am a smart person, and I understand financial matters, and I don't like blurting out things about my heatlh to strangers, as I did.

How long does it take to get one's cognitive abilities back? Will I always be overwhelmed and confused? Should I be more capable than this by now?

[jmo531]

I imagine that this will take sometime. Hang in there. (((((((WANTS))))))

[Poppet]

Wants2fly, I really don't know the answers to your questions, I'm sorry.

But I just wanted to say thankyou for mentioning this subject, I have been battling with it since Feb last year which is when I caved in.

How do you get your head around it ? Or is that a silly question, I mean, this aspect of depression makes you unable to get your head round anything !

After years of believing I was unintelligent, I had 'found'my intelligence. Then this happens and I feel like my cognitive abilities are like mush.

Do you find that you cannot concentrate on more than one thing at a time now ? Women are supposed to be such multi-taskers but this is so different - one very simple thing at a time and not too quickly !

I hope that others here answer your Qs cos they'll be answering mine too. I hope I am not hi-jacking your thread - starting to get a bit paranoid now.....eek !

Hey, lets place bets - who's cog. dis. clears first ! hehehe

Keep on keeping on.....Poppet

[Wants2Fly]

Poppet -- for a long time, I felt like I could not concentrate on anything at all. Somehow, after I caved, I got through teaching a few courses to fulfill my contract, but it was reduced schedule. I honestly don't remember how I did it.

Everything has been "off" for a long time. I had bills sent to my mother. I called a gyn this week and learned that I hadn't been in for 4 years. I thought it was 2!

I played thousands and thousands of games of e-solitaire this summer and listened to Buffy reruns in the background. I guess that kept a part of my brain from going frozen.

A part of me hasn't been present for my life.

I am teaching one course now, sending out resumes, and wondering how the heck I could possibly manage a 40-hour job -- and what the devil is going to happen to me if I don't? Will I wind up living under a bridge?

I have read that recovery is not a straight line. That we improve, and fall back. I was triggered into a depressive slide by what happened yesterday. I am doing my best to keep going. Moving some boxes onto the porch. Sending out a few resumes.

You are right though -- I manage small things slowly now. I hope things get better and better for both of us.

[kvinneakt]

That is why they call it "crazy." It is a real stinker, isn't it. I think that it just kind of gets better without much fanfare or notice. One day you find yourself a bit smarter and don't recall when it happened.

My recent down had me actually not knowing what day of the week it was, or even the month. Earlier this week I was certain it was March 2nd. This morning I thought it was Wednesday. This afternoon it is all clear, today is Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas!

[Wants2Fly]

Kvinneakt -- Do you recall anything more specific about how long it takes to reach that day when you find yourself a bit smarter? Do we ever get back to where we were? Or are the days of high pressure work and meeting deadlines and making a living wage gone forever?

[kvinneakt]

Of cource I can only reply about my own experience. I used to have a stressful, very fast paced job as a telco service rep, and later as a project manager. I hated both jobs, but did them very well. Both jobs required high energy, fast thinking, multi-tasking, etc. There is no way I could do that hard of work again. Now if I have more than one complex task going on I get confused, forgetful, irritable, etc. You know what? I don't care all that much. I don't have to do it for the money and I don't have to prove anything to myself. I visited eastern Africa a few months ago. Two things locals love to say to visitors is "poley poley" and "akuna matata" which mean "slow down" and "don't worry, be happy." They are too right. Our culture is captivated with excess of all kinds. It is not only damaging to the ecosystem, but to our personal well being, too. Maybe you will get your fire burning hot again someday, maybe not. Is it really something you need in life? Is it worth the cost?