[marjan]

Trust me, I try all the methods anybody says from yoga, meditation, writing a diary, work out, hiking, breathing, talking to friends, therapy, dancing, jogging, reading.....anything you name it....I really try....but I can't take that emptiness out from myself....and these emotional crises....I hate it....I hate it....
Just two weeks ago the guy that I was dating for two months broke up with me.....because of me being jealous, needy, and getting quiet....he said, he can't handle it....and he broke up....I got into more sadness even....I try to put that behind me and carry on with my life....but I'm mad at myself, why I couldn't make this relationship to work....why?
As I keep asking myself, I get more frustrated and angry and sad and depressed....I hate all these feelings.....
I really tried my best to be good in these relationship and I couldn't....I know relationship is between two people and if he doesn't want me, then I can't do anything about it.....
My moods get change during the day very often....all of a sudden I feel hope in my heart and I get lots of energy.....I feel I can do whatever I want to do.....and then couple of hours later, I'm all sad and depressed and down....It's like my brain is racing against me.....I like to smash my brain to the wall....and I don't know what to do.....
I want to work on myself and make myself very strong....that's my goal....I really want to do that....and I will....
I just need your help....one of you wrote me that I need to find the happiness inside myself.....I have to love myself and find that wholiness....I really want to get to that point.....but I need your thoughts and helps.....please tell me your expereinces.....
I need to know them.....I want to be happy....and relax....I want to be in peace....
thanks for reading my post

[Miracle1986]

All I have is (((hugs)))

[madisgram]

marjan, sounds like u need to fix you first...the depression can be lifted perhaps with meds and therapy is helpful to get things out..just take it slow and be kinder to yourself. you mean a lot to us.

[Puffyprue]

i know all that feeling very well ,i dont have any advice how to fix it but you shoud try to let it go...if he really loves you no matter what happen he will come back but before that happen you should be prepare to become so much better at first learn to love your self tell that u are beautiful even if u think your not.....grateful for everything you have even if you have nothing ( at least you still have air to brreath) ...its hard to do believe me i know it coz iam still struggling with my depression even when iam wrote this for you...but someday will comes when everything will be fine and emptiness go away and God replace our heart with the new one...
hope it helps

[lynn P.]

Hi Marjan,
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so sad. I would normally mention all the things you've tried - but don't give up because some of the self help methods take a little time to kick in.
I've had my share of bad experiences - father died when I was 2, mom passed when I was 32, brother passed 8 yrs. ago from aids and another brother passed to alcohol poissoning last April. I'm also in a very stressfull marriage at present. You're probably thinking "hey aren't you supposed to be cheering me up". Well I'll get to that in a minute.
I also want to tell you a true story about this awesome woman I saw on Oprah. After giving birth to her second child she developed a flesh eating desease that ravaged her body. To save her life she had both legs, three quarters of her arms removed and had a colonoscopy. She recovered faster than anyone dreamed and zoomed through physiotherapy. When she was asked why she never went through the "poor me" stage she replied " because all I ever wanted to do was go home to my children and husband. Yes the desease ate at her body but she wouldn't let it take her zest for life.
I found her story very inspirational and I hope you will to. It taught me to be grateful for even the simple things (warm place to sleep, good meal, health and warm hugs). try going back to journal writing, emphasizing on gratitude for the simple things. Life is a journey and many times the road is rough. Sometimes I learn the most when I've gone through a bad experience. Don't let man troubles get you down - it just wasn't meant to be. Love yourself and know that you are a complete person without a man. I hope this has helped you in some small way.