[Miri]

Question: Is anyone willing to talk about experiences that are out of the ordinary? Example: I really do blow out light bulbs, actually, streetlights seem to be my specialty. I blew out three in a row one night, one after the other. I don't usually encourage focusing on things that "others" (people who do not have DD) think make us - please forgive me for using this word - "freakish" because I certainly don't think anyone is, but it is a word that has been used a lot. I guess I'd like to feel like I'm not the only one. I've known people who can't wear watches because they just won't keep time and that is no different, really, from blowing out lightbulbs. So, is anyone willing to share their experiences so I can feel like i have some company? My friend who also has DID never has things like this happen to her and so she teases me sometimes, in a most affectionate way, of course. I used to mess up my computers all the time, too, but since getting VISTA as my operating system, I've been good and other people have had a lot of trouble. Maybe this seems trivial, but, am I alone in this?

[Elysium]

You know, I don't think that you're alone in this altogether. I do think that there are people in this world that may have some capabilities and talents that are, can we say extra-sensory...I don't know if that is the right word. Yet at the same time I tend to keep a skeptics hat on as well to see if I can prove or disprove something.

I'm a little bit nervous about sharing my things because they will probably seem kind of outlandish and over the top.

I think that my least over the top thing is that I can sense earthquakes by the feeling of the tension in the ground...just by walking on it. I think I am very sensitive to energies of all kinds.

I have also wondered if I am what is called claircognizant, which is similar to clairvoyant. I tend to have dreams about airplane crashes before they happen, and when they do happen there tend to be striking similarities between the dream and the actual event. The more difficult one for me to deal with, which I find really disturbing, is when someone goes missing, either an adult, or a child, I tend to be able to just sense, or know whether they are still alive and if they're not, I can sometimes sense where their body is located. I never know the exact spot, but I just know if they are near a body of water, or if they are near bushes, or roads. A lot of times I am pretty right on. I am not one of those people that gets involved with the PD to give them tips or anything though, because I don't have full confidence in this ability, and I wouldn't want to waste anyone's time, or raise anyones hopes. That would just be cruel.

So, I can't blow out street lights or anything like that, but I do tend to have these other strange and scary things. I promise too that I am not a NUT!! I am my biggest skeptic. I don't think I've ever shared this with anyone!!

[Miri]

Thanks, Elysium, that helps. I realize, too, that sharing this stuff might feel a little unsafe. I don't want to perpetuate any myths about people with DD that curiosity seekers viewing here might spread around in a way that is undesirable. Yes, I've ben told that I'm more "psychic" than i realize, but it isn't a place I want to go. Like you, I'm just not sure what i feel about that and really don't want it! Example, I'm struggling right now with feelings I'm sensing from someone important to me. It feels like that person is pulling back and I don't want to lose him. This is a professional relationship and so i can't just confront him or ask him, he won't go there. He's been very kind and understanding and I really don't want to mess that up. I've been having a really tough time and I sense he feels at a loss to know how to help me, so perhaps he's pulled back to keep his own feelings in check. That's good, but, I feel it and it feels like i'm losing something, plus I'm scared he'll leave like so many have before. Yes, I have issues of abandonment and with good reason. My best friend said I'm paranoid right now and I really wish she had chosen a different word because that puts it all on me and that is not what relationships are about, only one person. I've known this person for 5 years. I also wonder how much of it is fear of abandonment, but I don't think paranoia fits. So, I don't know if I'm truly sensing his private feelings and fears around me, or it's my own. How can I tell the difference? I just feel like he's closed off and there can be so many reasons for that, too, that might have nothing to do with me. You and I are in the same boat, in a way, not knowing what to do with the feelings. How do you cope? How do you put it outside of yourself and let it go? Help!
If you or anyone else wants to PM me about this, I'm good with that.

[Elysium]

Paranoid.........BLEH!!

Many lay people don't understand the true meaning of this word!!

Truthfully, I prefer hypervigilant!!

I'll PM you!!

[Miri]

Elysium - thanks again for your encouragement. I'll call my friend when i can be rational again. Don't you hate it when your own words come back to bite you?

[DianasClan]

Some ppl would consider me freakish I guess. My gift is I can read tarot cards with prety good acuracy. But I am also what you would call an empath. I feel the emotions that others are feeling. This can be quite a problem as I work at an airport and constantly have to have "walls" up. But when I come in physical contact with someone the "walls" dont always work. One time a lady came in and I had to pat her down. She had seen some horrible things while in Europe and was very sad. When I touched her I was overcome by her saddness and had to go on a break to deal with the images and feelings I had. It was horrible and the memories stays with me some 4 years later. I mostly pick up on feeings of saddness but occasionally I have picked up on happiness. One time I knew about a persons death. I freaked a girl at school out when I asked her who died. She looked at me broke into tears and said a friend had died. So yeah I am a freak and I am also hypervigulant. I never know when someones emotions will over come me.

Diana

[iamtwilight]

hi, miri -

we actually do blow light bulbs out sometimes. not as often as you, but yes it happens, also with the watches. they're never right! my cell phone always acts weird too.

this phenomenon has been documented in the book "when rabbit howls" - by truddi chase (and her troops). it's a good book, a little heavy but worth reading if you haven't read it yet.

safe hugs for you miri, you're never alone with us
twilight

[Miri]

[QUOTE=DianasClan;1005054]Some ppl would consider me freakish I guess. My gift is I can read tarot cards with prety good acuracy. But I am also what you would call an empath. I feel the emotions that others are feeling. This can be quite a problem as I work at an airport and constantly have to have "walls" up. But when I come in physical contact with someone the "walls" dont always work. One time a lady came in and I had to pat her down. She had seen some horrible things while in Europe and was very sad. When I touched her I was overcome by her saddness and had to go on a break to deal with the images and feelings I had. It was horrible and the memories stays with me some 4 years later. I mostly pick up on feeings of saddness but occasionally I have picked up on happiness. One time I knew about a persons death. I freaked a girl at school out when I asked her who died. She looked at me broke into tears and said a friend had died. So yeah I am a freak and I am also hypervigulant. I never know when someones emotions will over come me.

No, never a freak! That's what outsiders think, even some in the mental health field. Yeah, I agree that sometimes things feel freaky, but that is very different from acepting that as a label. But even saying that, I feel it too, lots of times. I think it is because of the isolation we are forced into. There are so many more of us around than they used to believe, but how do we find each other? Put an ad in the paper? Not safe! I wish i new two things:
when I'm feeling someone else's emotions as opposed to my own
how to put walss around me because i really suck at that - I don't think i have any skin at all!
So if you can help with that, I'd be grateful, but i suppose it's something you just learn to do over time. Thanks so much for sharing with me!

[Miri]

Originally Posted by iamtwilight

hi, miri -

we actually do blow light bulbs out sometimes. not as often as you, but yes it happens, also with the watches. they're never right! my cell phone always acts weird too.

this phenomenon has been documented in the book "when rabbit howls" - by truddi chase (and her troops). it's a good book, a little heavy but worth reading if you haven't read it yet.

safe hugs for you miri, you're never alone with us
twilight

I collect and read virtually every book about DID that i can get my hands on! Yes, I've read When Rabbit Howls - so tragic. I read one that was even worse - hard to believe - called, Becoming Kate. You can get it on Amazon, the first author (psychiatrist) is named Jansma. It's very triggering - don't get it unless you can put distance between her experience and your own. I am able to do that very well, just not out in the "real" world.
thanks for your post and especially your support!

[jeNeTeConnaisPas]

i was in therapy two weeks ago and was telling T that my 12 yr old alter and a few others can do psychokenetic things such as blowing out bulbs. then five mins later he came out and she made him nervous so he blew out the bulb in her lamp. T was at a loss for words. he apologised. apparently he does it alot. strong emotional energy is common explanation for this phenomena and i believe it has validity...

[jeNeTeConnaisPas]

whenever i cant talk to someone in system i try typing to them but the 12 yr old always shuts the pc down with that energy. i used to think i was crazy that something was causing this. (a demon..i have a wild imagination) but he recently told me it was him.

-J.C. of TBC

[Miri]

jeNeTeConnaisPas
I once had a huge bar code take over my computer screen - some joke, huh! Things seem to be stable on that front for the last while. I read once that we can give our T's headaches - I wonder if that's from our "vibes" or just because EVERYTHING is also so intense with us! I'm trying to make light of this, but honestly, it isn't easy to accept that you have such an effect onn people just by being in a room with them. On the other hand, I've had people be smiling away at me and yet know that they are dark inside - I mean that they are covering up some deep hurt, hiding it from others. Sometimes, I just know when someone is really just not having very nice thoughts about me and it usually comes from not understanding that i cannot help who I am. Some people are so easy-going, light-hearted - i don't know whether or not to envy them or shrug them off as shallow. What I truly wish is that I didn't think about this stuff so much. I believe it's part of the hypervigilance, just trying to make sense of a world that's incomprehensible.
Thanks for your reply; appreciated.

Originally Posted by Miri

Question: Is anyone willing to talk about experiences that are out of the ordinary? Example: I really do blow out light bulbs, actually, streetlights seem to be my specialty. I blew out three in a row one night, one after the other. I don't usually encourage focusing on things that "others" (people who do not have DD) think make us - please forgive me for using this word - "freakish" because I certainly don't think anyone is, but it is a word that has been used a lot. I guess I'd like to feel like I'm not the only one. I've known people who can't wear watches because they just won't keep time and that is no different, really, from blowing out lightbulbs. So, is anyone willing to share their experiences so I can feel like i have some company? My friend who also has DID never has things like this happen to her and so she teases me sometimes, in a most affectionate way, of course. I used to mess up my computers all the time, too, but since getting VISTA as my operating system, I've been good and other people have had a lot of trouble. Maybe this seems trivial, but, am I alone in this?

MT MT MT
You do that too? I thought it was just some strange thing we did. Just tonight blew out two in a row. Have you heard of streetlight people? There is lots of info on Google . Mostly DID'ers who do this thing. Thank you for posting this.

[multipixie9]

We do not do things like blowing out bulbs or making things not work. We have been extremely hypervigilant in the past and we called it having "radar"- we were very sensitive to atmosphere in places we went and we were very accurate in our assesment of people without much contact.

We do not have any kind of esp thing because it doesn't go with our faith in God. Some of our abusers were into extremely evil spiritual practices and those horrible things affected us and we have sought to be entirely free from the taint of them. However, living with so much evil and danger in our childhood seemed to make us have a kind of radar and being perceptive/hypervigilant was extremely important to our survival.

We do not understand what makes these things happen to all of you and we do not think anyone should judge you or act like you are "weird" because you can do something they do not understand. Life is full of mysteries.

Leslie

[Miri]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

MT MT MT
You do that too? I thought it was just some strange thing we did. Just tonight blew out two in a row. Have you heard of streetlight people? There is lots of info on Google . Mostly DID'ers who do this thing. Thank you for posting this.

I had no idea! Thanks, I'm going to check this out right away! It's so easy to attribute this to "coincidence" but somehow I just don't think so. thanks again to all who have posted because i really need to feel some company with this!

[iamtwilight]

I once had a huge bar code take over my computer screen - some joke, huh!

something like this happened to our computer too. the screen started showing frequencies. now we have a new screen, hopefully this one will last longer!

I read that it has something to do with all the energy generated by being multiple. Any strong emotional reaction seems to set this off with us.
Pixies I'm sorry if what I said bothered you or upset you. It isn't anything spiritual of evil, just strange.
If I upset you lease accept my apology.

[Miri]

I'm really grateful to everyone who has posted here. I think many of us struggle with dealing with things that are "weird" or "freaky" by the standards of the majority who do not experience such things - and you don't have to be dissociaitve to experience some of what has been described here. In my heart, I don't feel like a freak, but in my mind, the rational part of me, i kind of do. So i don 't know how to reconcile these opposing points of view. I guess I know there is know answer to be found here, but it's something I needed to bring up as I struggle with how much to tell the world about me, knowing that there are far more misperceptions than accuracies. I have "come out" on radio and newsdpaper a few times and have done some teaching about DID, but I got to the point where I could no longer tell the fullness of my experience, could not admit to blowing out street lamps because I risked perpetuating the myths. Perhaps its a problem that human beings are too quick to judge anyone they don't understand - this isn't particular to DD or DID. My problem is, do i continue to try to educate, hide some of my truths in favour of a higher good, or be honest and then say that we really do not fully comprehend the phenomenal capabilities of the human mind and its potential to affect our outer realities. Some people are really getting into the concepts promoted in the book "the Secret" and I am in no way criticizing the power of positive thought. the concept has been around a long, long time, we're just hearing it in a new format. But why is that "acceptable" but psychokinesis, or moving objects with the mind, still way out there? Why isn't attracting millions or curing oneself of cancer way out there? Or maybe it is!!! Am i making any sense? LOL Maybe I'm figuring this out here as i write - if I can compare my blowing out lightbulbs to attracting desired outcomes, do you think people will be less weirded out? I'm afraid I don't make a very good ... can't find a word .... enigma, maybe. Yet, that makes me feel just a little special, too. I really think we are all enigmas, all unique and precious just as we are. At least, I hope so! Hopelessly confused by this!

i stil wana be a unikorn

[Miri]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

i stil wana be a unikorn

But you are already magical! thanks for your support, lots...

[luckylucille]

Originally Posted by Miri

Question: Is anyone willing to talk about experiences that are out of the ordinary? Example: I really do blow out light bulbs, actually, streetlights seem to be my specialty. I blew out three in a row one night, one after the other. I don't usually encourage focusing on things that "others" (people who do not have DD) think make us - please forgive me for using this word - "freakish" because I certainly don't think anyone is, but it is a word that has been used a lot. I guess I'd like to feel like I'm not the only one. I've known people who can't wear watches because they just won't keep time and that is no different, really, from blowing out lightbulbs. So, is anyone willing to share their experiences so I can feel like i have some company? My friend who also has DID never has things like this happen to her and so she teases me sometimes, in a most affectionate way, of course. I used to mess up my computers all the time, too, but since getting VISTA as my operating system, I've been good and other people have had a lot of trouble. Maybe this seems trivial, but, am I alone in this?

I cant keep cell phones for more than three months without the battery becoming drained...and yes, I follow what the manufacturer says about letting the phone get to the last bar. I have to replace batteries frequently.

[Kiya]

i was just talking about this (sorta) with T the other night. She'd made a CD of affirmations for me -with me there, totally swapped out into a younger self- and was trying to get it to copy over... all for naught. She couldn't understand why it wouldn't work. I finally said, "you know DID's often cause energy malfunctions with electronics." SHe said "is that right?..." then looked at me over her shoulder and said "well tell'em to knock'it off!!!" I think she was kidding... but she looked rather perturbed there... @_@ meep! After I left she was able to get it to work.

[iamtwilight]

kiya - that is exactly what happens to us too! when we try to make it work it doesn't work but when it's somebody else it works perfectly well! argh.

this is especially when feelings are out of control / during times of stress it seems.

twilite

I was telling this to my therapist and he laughed, good naturedly....until his lights went out! Then he looked at me and said "What did you DO?"
We had a good laugh over it.

[Kiya]

I've given up on wearing watches - the batteries don't last longer than 3 months. Though for the rest of the oddities, they tend to go in cycles for us (except for being emotionally charged and swapped out), like messing up computers, melting cheap metals just by touching them, that sort of thing. I remember a time period where everything that happened when i walked into a room, I said sorry! my fault! =)