night terrors/flash back *possible trigger warning*

Angel always has night terrors, but today it was a little different.
I'm still terrified...and I'm usually the one that has to deal with Angel's attacks.
I didn't even know I was asleep... It felt like I was at my old house...with my father...he was hitting me again...I don't remember a lot back then because Angel was usually the one out when I was being abused...
I remember kinda waking up...she was out and was crying in the bf's arms...but it still felt like we were there...it was terrifying...when I came out, I was so dissociated I couldn't see..everything looked really fuzzy and blurred...I felt really detached and floaty...my bf calmed us down a lot though, so we took a shower to calm down...I do feel better now, but I'm still pretty freaked out...I don't remember the last time the flash backs got this bad...I have them almost constantly, but...I couldn't even feel my body or anything...I don't usually get this bothered...I'm always the one calming everyone else down, but this really got to me.
I think it's because it's the holidays...something horrible always happened around/during the holidays.
Anyways...thanks for listening...still working on getting a T...

-Shadow.

((((((((((( safe Shadow hugs! ))))))) What you describe sounds like what my "angry" alter is going through as we are doing our trauma healing.

Take it slow and be gentle to yourself. T would help a lot. You need a T when you go through this level of healing. And we don't always get to pick when the trauma healing will happen in our lives. My last T told us we would go through this. He said the brain waits until it feals very safe before the trauma will process.

But my T today (after major flashback yesterday) told us that you only have to go through the real trauma healing once per item. But it has to be fully processed - and that means the anger and pain and the rest. Then your psych will release it in the healthy way. Having DID is like having the grieving process delayed in pieces. But you can heal... even if it is just one part and memory at a time.

awww thanks. That really helps a lot
I hope I don't have another one too soon. That would suck...
and yeah, I really need a T, but Heather's mom keeps saying she will and never does.
I'm trying to get on meds too to help with depression and anxiety attacks, but all her mom says is "You don't need it, you haven't had another attack in awhile, so you're fine." which really upsets me . She doesn't live with me or anything and I'm just now starting to tell her what happened to me...it's hard.
But what you've told me makes me feel a lot better, so thank you very much

-Shadow

me sory u hurting shado person
we sory da momy bes so meen
we not wike it wen peepl is meen
can me giv u hugz pwease?

frum gabby

yes cookie, this is the hardest for us when memoirs are shared and felt as one. we are sorry for your pain but also happy that you are healing.Know that you are loved here and Lots of safe hugs from all of us.

aww it's ok Gabby.
Yeah I don't like it when people are mean either.
sure ((hugs))

-Shadow

Thanks. It's nice to know I have friends I can talk to on here. I do feel really safe when I'm here.

-Shadow

Gloomcookie,

I have been waking up in the night too but must say I don't know if it is with a night terror but I definately had them at the age my teen alter Wish that I'm dealing with is. My Mom would tell me I was screaming out in the night. She then would run from unstairs to downstairs to see if someone was in the room. Wonder why we never had that looked into back then!?! I haven't had anyone in close proximity to me sleeping for about 10 years so I have no idea if I yell anymore but I certainly awake. Here is hoping this will end soon with this alter and her entourage being out and getting help. With some other things that I am doing before sleep like using my CES unit and listening to waterfalls, rain, on my little listening device I wake up feeling more alert (is how I will put it) except I have had a cold these past few days but even then I seem more withit. I try to ask myself who is awake if I have some disparaging feelings so I know who might need some help. Lately it has been my little 2 to 3 year old, Chicklet. I give her our stuffie Rex and it has worked to go back to sleep. *sigh* I'm going to own more stuffies than methusala soon.