[writingwithink]

I'm seven weeks into this new DID T, and this has become a greater request from her during sessions, and I get so confused. I'll ask questions and her response will be to ask inside. And she doesn't just say that and, in my opionion, give me time to ask inside. She'll say, "Ask inside," and then want an answer almost immediately. Is this normal?

Also, we discussed an email that was sent to her and she asked me if I was aware of it; I was. I explained that, much to my embarassment, I watched the email being sent (it was not a pleasant note and expressed angry words toward a former T; I don't know where it came from, and I'm still shocked because that T was just golden, and I've never thought anything bad about her). After explaining this, my T told me that it means I'm co-con. Although, later in the session, we were talking about some parts that are kids and how recently another adult part has stepped out to care for them. I told her that I'm okay with that because they're not me and as long as it stays with them and not me, then I'm okay. She then asked, "Who are you?" So I got freaked out by this question and felt like, OMG, I have to come up with something. I responded, "I don't know." Just great. In reality, my only response could have been, "me." Am I supposed to be able to give a name or function or something like that if she asks, "Who are you"?

So, after session, I felt like I'm making all this stuff up again. Then later this week, my boss sends out a note to all her direct reports asking them to complete a self-evaluation form in preparation for annual reviews. So, as is the case with these types of tasks, the form has been completed, re-completed, and even trashed several times; all times with different answers. So something like this happens, and I'm back to saying, "OMG, this is true."

[just2b]

I can relate to your t asking, ask inside, mine does that too. However she will give me time to answer.

As far as the question, Who are you? I feel the same way you do. I have been asked that and even asked my t who am i? and she tells me I will find answers to that in time. It is not something I will know overnight.

I am new to this too. Just know there are people here that have been through things and can relate and offer suggestions. I have found it to be very supportive.

take care

[WePow]

safe hugs writing! man - i totally hate annual review time - I go into tears. It is just so bad.

DID can be frustrating. I am not sure if the new T you have is doing something "normal" with asking to ask inside. But it makes sense to look inside for answers as that can get good results.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by writingwithink

I'm seven weeks into this new DID T, and this has become a greater request from her during sessions, and I get so confused. I'll ask questions and her response will be to ask inside. And she doesn't just say that and, in my opionion, give me time to ask inside. She'll say, "Ask inside," and then want an answer almost immediately. Is this normal?

Also, we discussed an email that was sent to her and she asked me if I was aware of it; I was. I explained that, much to my embarassment, I watched the email being sent (it was not a pleasant note and expressed angry words toward a former T; I don't know where it came from, and I'm still shocked because that T was just golden, and I've never thought anything bad about her). After explaining this, my T told me that it means I'm co-con. Although, later in the session, we were talking about some parts that are kids and how recently another adult part has stepped out to care for them. I told her that I'm okay with that because they're not me and as long as it stays with them and not me, then I'm okay. She then asked, "Who are you?" So I got freaked out by this question and felt like, OMG, I have to come up with something. I responded, "I don't know." Just great. In reality, my only response could have been, "me." Am I supposed to be able to give a name or function or something like that if she asks, "Who are you"?

So, after session, I felt like I'm making all this stuff up again. Then later this week, my boss sends out a note to all her direct reports asking them to complete a self-evaluation form in preparation for annual reviews. So, as is the case with these types of tasks, the form has been completed, re-completed, and even trashed several times; all times with different answers. So something like this happens, and I'm back to saying, "OMG, this is true."

Yes its normal for a therapist to ask you to ask inside and then expect the answer right away. co consciousness means you have awareness of your alters, what they are doing and thinking, what they want and need all you need to do is ask and listen closely and someone will answer you right away. the answer might not be what you expect nor want it to be but it will be an answer. on the alters that my therapist and I were able to establish co consciousness with, that therapist had me sit there with paper and pen and write her questions as she was saying then and then my write exactly what I was haring immediately after she finished the asking the question.

[writingwithink]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Yes its normal for a therapist to ask you to ask inside and then expect the answer right away. co consciousness means you have awareness of your alters, what they are doing and thinking, what they want and need all you need to do is ask and listen closely and someone will answer you right away. the answer might not be what you expect nor want it to be but it will be an answer. on the alters that my therapist and I were able to establish co consciousness with, that therapist had me sit there with paper and pen and write her questions as she was saying then and then my write exactly what I was haring immediately after she finished the asking the question.

Thanks for the reply. I find it very validating to hear exerpiences like yours. I think I need to just start going with the flow and letting it happen instead of fighting it.

[Luce]

Writing with ink,. if you don't hear an answer at all, or you would if you had more time to listen it is perfectly ok to tell your t that. It's not a 'right or wrong' thing. If you don't hear answers it can be because nobody wants to say anything, or they don't yet trust the t enough to share, or you are not yet coconscious with the ones who know the answers, or at that particular moment, nobody is home but you.

I *hated* the 'who are you?' question with a vengeance. truyl hated it. I think I used to switch to a part that growls every time my t asked it! It took me a long time but I did get up the courage to tell her that we didn't like that question and we would never answer that question and we wanted her to not ask it anymore (of course it didn't help that we also had parts that told t they DID like the question and would always answer if it was them!)
But, you know, if you don't like it and it makes you uncomfortable you can just ask your t not to ask that question. That's perfectly ok to do.

[writingwithink]

Luce, thanks so much for your response. It's very encouraging.

[anderson]

"we are many yet, we are one" is the best answer that we have come up with to the Who am I? . yes in time you will find your own answer. as to T asking you to ask yourself tell her u need time to work on inner communications but we loved the way she showed u that you were co-con. she let you look at the facts then helped short them out. We all like that . (((((((((((writingwithinking)))))))))))

[writingwithink]

Thanks, Anderson. I had my session with her on Saturday and was able to speak with her about all of this. I don't remember much of what she said, but I feel like it was progress. I do remember telling her that I'm willing to do the hard work, and I asked her what the process would be. She said that I have already been doing the work and that the process is exactly what we've been doing. Now I can stop worrying (I hope) about what to expect and just go in every week and do it.

[Hunny]

(((((((((( Writingwithink )))))))))))

Just thinking about you...over the holiday days...hoping you are okay.



Merry Christmas!!!

.

.......ask inside????????????????

the first time I did that......I got 33 different answers........or heard....

....inside my head.......the voices......who were......All ME......my voices..

....from that point on.......I had something to work with....if I wanted....

......................and I wanted........................

.....asking inside is internal communication..........talking with me......

.....inside and outside of my head............

.....I would litterally voice my question.......aloud.........

.....then.........sit still and wait for the answer.....inwhich my answers came quick.....inside my head.....almost immediately...........that was my answer....

.....confusion?????????....without internal communication.....confusion is an understatement...........

.....the goal of therapy is elimination of confusion.......for me.......

.....and today??????....I have one voice....in my head.....that is very very clear........when I ask inside.......

......and I concurr with amandalouise..........

......co-consicious-ness.....is NOT in my vocabulary today.........

.....NOR is alter/part/piece or whatevever.....to im-personnal.....sounds like a machine........

.....I AM A HUMAN BEING........with D.I.D.......just like everyone else with D.I.D.

We all are one humanbeing......it may not feel like that at times....but we are.............


.........................sparrowstail.....................

[Hunny]

Sparrowstail

[writingwithink]

Thank you, sparrowstail.

[writingwithink]

Originally Posted by Hunny

(((((((((( Writingwithink )))))))))))

Just thinking about you...over the holiday days...hoping you are okay.



Merry Christmas!!!

.

Thank you, Hunny. I hope your Christmas was nice. I traveled back to see friends and family in Virginia. It took about three days of back-and-forth deciding until the very last minute when one opinion won out over the others and I went. Saw a wonderful friend. Parts of the family visits were OK; other parts not so OK. Tuesday is a complete blur and don't remember much from that.

Ten hours of driving each way gave me a lot of time to "just notice" (as an old therapist used to tell me). Still haven't asked inside, but I'm getting closer to doing so.

Peace to you,
writing

[just2b]

I was going to post something, but this was the closest to the subject i was going to post about anyway. I woke up this am and it was totally silent, and I asked inside if anyone was out today, and got no reponse. I also got and had the feeling that this diagnosis isnt me. As the day went on, I realized that everyone may have been sleeping, cause it got loud again.I liked it when it was quiet! I am awaiting to find out if my current t is going to treat me or not.

I like quiet.......I also like 0 to 1% drama in my life today. I cannot totally escape the drama, but I can keep it to a bear minimum.......if I do the work and the work is "asking inside" and internally communicating.

From the first time I asked inside, I wrote the answers down. I have been writing "for affect" ever since.

I started the healing process from that point on. My biggest hang up was, PTSD was OK to have (for me) but, I danm sure did not want D.I.D... I would not wish D.I.D. on my worst enemy. A certain portion of my brain was telling me " I did'nt have it".

Unfornately, due to the specific test for D.I.D. that was administered, the rest of my brain, just could not deny the facts anymore.

From that point on, I would here myself say "I dont have this", but the truth is, I would (and still) "ask inside" and internally communicate anyway.

For many years I sat still every morning and intrduced myself to me. Some days it would take four, five ,six hours.

Today, I sat still for about an hour..........and "asked inside".....

[writingwithink]

Originally Posted by sparrowstail

I like quiet.......I also like 0 to 1% drama in my life today. I cannot totally escape the drama, but I can keep it to a bear minimum.......if I do the work and the work is "asking inside" and internally communicating.

From the first time I asked inside, I wrote the answers down. I have been writing "for affect" ever since.

I started the healing process from that point on. My biggest hang up was, PTSD was OK to have (for me) but, I danm sure did not want D.I.D... I would not wish D.I.D. on my worst enemy. A certain portion of my brain was telling me " I did'nt have it".

Unfornately, due to the specific test for D.I.D. that was administered, the rest of my brain, just could not deny the facts anymore.

From that point on, I would here myself say "I dont have this", but the truth is, I would (and still) "ask inside" and internally communicate anyway.

For many years I sat still every morning and intrduced myself to me. Some days it would take four, five ,six hours.

Today, I sat still for about an hour..........and "asked inside".....

Thanks, Sparrow. Today at the end of my session, T asked if a particular insider had any concerns. I listened inside and he responded quickly. At the very end, all was quiet... calm... numb... fine...

Originally Posted by writingwithink

Thanks, Sparrow. Today at the end of my session, T asked if a particular insider had any concerns. I listened inside and he responded quickly. At the very end, all was quiet... calm... numb... fine...

The numb, numbness is an accurate emotional response (at least for myself).

Even to this day, I am so amazed that the solution for the complexities that strive between my ears is ssoooooo simple.

From the begining of my journey, there were a few things I realized that I really needed.....

Persistance.......

Determination........

.......and a wholesome, healthy spiritual discipline.....

The last being the most important, because without asking for that......from a god of my own understanding.......whatever I concieve him to be.......I would not be posting this post.....right here...right now...

.....and to relieve myself of self-doubt.....I tell myself....my story....

.....just not as much as I used too, because "asking inside" does work!

[anderson]

Yes asking inside does work, after each part that has become one with us to make us whole the peace does come sometimes with out warning other times it is a soft acceptance that we no longer have to be a we but becoming one again.

[Hunny]

Encouragement for you Writingwithink

.

.....my two favorite words in the world used to be "free food"...........

.....today....my two favorite words in the world are " ask inside"............

[Hunny]

Sparrowstail, you make us chuckle with 'free food', and 'ask inside' with opposite end of scale. So, true

.