[WePow]

Ok fellow DIDers .... since starting therapy again in July, I have made a lot of progress with breaking down the walls to my alters. It has been hard as you all know, but I am also getting the benefits as host in knowing what they are keeping secret and how I can work through past trauma pain.

One thing that I am finding rather odd though is that sometimes after very big events such as last week, well once I am calmed down on the inside and everyone is happy again for the most part, I have had a couple of times when I feel something odd in my brain like electric shock that is very intense and sudden. It does not hurt - it is just like being zapped. I have never had ECT so it is not related to anything like that. And when it happens, it is almost like a very sudden clarity. Kinda feels like I am suddenly just one person and the house is silent.

The sensation even lasts for a day or so afterwards. It happened last night and I thought it was odd because my two littles were talking about joining together like the wonder twins! LOL. I was teasing them and asking them how they came up with that idea and they just said it sounded like a good idea. I really don't want to lose them. Esp the Little One who is 8. Well I was saying I had not heard them at all this AM but way far away I just hear her say "I'm still here" .... so that made me smile a bit. I do want health though.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?

Thanks!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by wpowers

Ok fellow DIDers .... since starting therapy again in July, I have made a lot of progress with breaking down the walls to my alters. It has been hard as you all know, but I am also getting the benefits as host in knowing what they are keeping secret and how I can work through past trauma pain.

One thing that I am finding rather odd though is that sometimes after very big events such as last week, well once I am calmed down on the inside and everyone is happy again for the most part, I have had a couple of times when I feel something odd in my brain like electric shock that is very intense and sudden. It does not hurt - it is just like being zapped. I have never had ECT so it is not related to anything like that. And when it happens, it is almost like a very sudden clarity. Kinda feels like I am suddenly just one person and the house is silent.

The sensation even lasts for a day or so afterwards. It happened last night and I thought it was odd because my two littles were talking about joining together like the wonder twins! LOL. I was teasing them and asking them how they came up with that idea and they just said it sounded like a good idea. I really don't want to lose them. Esp the Little One who is 8. Well I was saying I had not heard them at all this AM but way far away I just hear her say "I'm still here" .... so that made me smile a bit. I do want health though.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?

Thanks!

are you on any medications? starting or stopping or missing doses? withdrawing from or missing medication dosages were the only times I ever experienced brain zaps. integration of my alters and memories that my alters had for me never included brain zaps. or any other physical pain within my brain. sometimes I experienced the pain of what was in the body memories but even that didn't happen very often and not to any degree that caused me any major concern afterwards. I don't know how detailed I can get here on this site so I'm going to just write and mods help wording might be needed here.

one integration of one alter was my alter Alex (short for Alexandria). during therapy one day my therapist and I broke through to alex and her memories. my therapist and I were talking about my having to be nice to my brothers friends. let them touch me, my brother got a few bucks. up until that day in therapy thats all I thought it was. but while talking about this I apparently kept switching to alex in the middle of sentences. my therapist recognized this and would hit the rewind button. she would back our conversation up to the point just before where I switched and start again from there. it ended up stretching our one hour session into a 3 hour session. She kept reenforcig the need to stay grounded each time. slowly we worked our way through and at one point it was like someone just opened a window because suddenly I knew what my brothers and his friends had done was much more than touching heres a few bucks. for a few minutes I felt as if it was happening right then. my mouth felt like it had been stretched beyond repair, there was an awful taste in my mouth. I felt the pain of other parts of my body too. this only lasted a few minutes because my therapist was there the whole time and kept reminding me that what I was feeling was just left over body memories and to focus on her and the ice cube she handed me. Having her voice and the ice cube in my hand I was able to go past the body memories and say to her Alex is me and that happened to me didnt it. and my therapist said you tell me are you alex or amandalouise or both. and did those things happen to alex or amanda louise or both. I told her it happened to both of us because alex is me and so is amandalouise. it was a bit strange the next few days knowing what my brother and his friends had done to me but there wasnt any more body memories. there was just a knowing what happened and knowing that it happened to me and knowing alex and I were now together as one.

[jexa]

I don't have DID but when I saw a thread entitled Brain Bursts I clicked. I get these.

I first ever had them when I tried shrooms, which was a very interesting spiritual experience for me. I get these brain zaps still when I am feeling more creative or when my brain is moving quickly or making new connections, like when I am learning something new that excites me. It's very interesting that you had them when your alters were considering integrating.

[anderson]

((((wpowers)))) We were tought that was the spiritual healing becoming physcal healing. You just speacial cause you know your body and know how to listen to it. he hee . In some of our earler research we found material that surported that everything that we exsperance in life is recorded at the DNA level. So when you are abel to heal the memior that causes the pain you are infact healing your self at different levels. Be proud ! You have done well! My friend!

Originally Posted by wpowers

Ok fellow DIDers .... since starting therapy again in July, I have made a lot of progress with breaking down the walls to my alters. It has been hard as you all know, but I am also getting the benefits as host in knowing what they are keeping secret and how I can work through past trauma pain.

One thing that I am finding rather odd though is that sometimes after very big events such as last week, well once I am calmed down on the inside and everyone is happy again for the most part, I have had a couple of times when I feel something odd in my brain like electric shock that is very intense and sudden. It does not hurt - it is just like being zapped. I have never had ECT so it is not related to anything like that. And when it happens, it is almost like a very sudden clarity. Kinda feels like I am suddenly just one person and the house is silent.

The sensation even lasts for a day or so afterwards. It happened last night and I thought it was odd because my two littles were talking about joining together like the wonder twins! LOL. I was teasing them and asking them how they came up with that idea and they just said it sounded like a good idea. I really don't want to lose them. Esp the Little One who is 8. Well I was saying I had not heard them at all this AM but way far away I just hear her say "I'm still here" .... so that made me smile a bit. I do want health though.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?

Thanks!

[WePow]

Thanks everyone for the input :-) I am not on any meds - yet! LOL at self. But I do think it is a strange sensation for sure. But I do like the sudden clarity that happens when it happens :-)

[Hunny]

Wpowers,

Just a couple of questions came to me about your post.

What part of your brain do you have this sensation in? How do you feel generally, bodywise? Have you mentioned this to your therapist and what was his conclusion?

I am always cautious about brain 'thingies'. It's probably copesthetic but I would check into a wee bit more.

It is neat you have a sense of 'clarity'.

Having asked those questions I will comment on some feelings/thoughts of well-being I have experienced over the years after certain large traumas and even small ones have been addressed. I too have experienced this silence and wondered if it is peace in the ranks or an actual alter having been integrated. As for the zap, I will wait to comment until I hear further from you. Perhaps I can ask my therapist to go back in his notes to see what words I have used around those times of a sense of cohesiveness.

All the best,
Hunny

Originally Posted by wpowers

Ok fellow DIDers .... since starting therapy again in July, I have made a lot of progress with breaking down the walls to my alters. It has been hard as you all know, but I am also getting the benefits as host in knowing what they are keeping secret and how I can work through past trauma pain.

One thing that I am finding rather odd though is that sometimes after very big events such as last week, well once I am calmed down on the inside and everyone is happy again for the most part, I have had a couple of times when I feel something odd in my brain like electric shock that is very intense and sudden. It does not hurt - it is just like being zapped. I have never had ECT so it is not related to anything like that. And when it happens, it is almost like a very sudden clarity. Kinda feels like I am suddenly just one person and the house is silent.

The sensation even lasts for a day or so afterwards. It happened last night and I thought it was odd because my two littles were talking about joining together like the wonder twins! LOL. I was teasing them and asking them how they came up with that idea and they just said it sounded like a good idea. I really don't want to lose them. Esp the Little One who is 8. Well I was saying I had not heard them at all this AM but way far away I just hear her say "I'm still here" .... so that made me smile a bit. I do want health though.

Anyone else have any experiences like this?

Thanks!

[anderson]

((((wpowers)))) We do have that sesation at times when alters are joining minds yet not totally uniting. But you should go ahead and ask your T for sure. WE were just pysiced cause another person was asking about the same things we have been looking into good luck we hope you are truely healing both in mind and body.

[Elysium]

Well...none of my alters have fused, but I do experience zaps if I skip a day of meds or try to decrease my strength.

I get this really ugly anxiety...and I get zaps that start from my shoulders and go up into my brain...and if I let it go to long, eventually it will spread down to my feet and feel like it's coming from the ground. It's really uncomfortable.

I hope that your zaps are from your alters blending together....that sounds like progress for you.

I myself am terrified of fusion.

[WePow]

Hunny - the sensation is in the mid/slightly to the left topish back part of my head. It almost is like an arc of electricity that moves from back to front to almost the very middle left side.

I did ask T about it and he said that the brain lays down new pathways in trauma healing. He never heard of anyone actually feeling them - but thought that is what it was. So far I only have felt that 2x and once was when my strongest and most nurturing alter told me "We are one. I am you and you are me." and that was a very big burst about 15 min after she said that. So T thinks it is the pathways building new roads inside :-)