alter sharing/may trigger

Alter sharing and it hurts like H . E. double hockey sticks. For almost a whole year we have not been able to apply for a job with out one of the shadow players trying to hurt the body one way or the other. After the way that those that befriended us at church on Easter Sunday. We went to bed thinking we would start to apply for a job again. Last night was full of night mares. The shadow one shared with us why we should not get another job and to say that we have an inch of this body that does not hurt from memoirs of past abuse would be a lie. I don’t know which I should be grateful for that she did not wait until I tried to apply for jobs to hurt the body again or that she was finely willing to share why she went to such lengths to keep us from being hurt again.
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We saw a friend at the store this morning and she asked us how we are doing because we were walking slowly and our skin was pale. We Told her the truth that last night we found out why one of us kept us from getting another job. It seems that some old co-workers when they could not get us to quite from the regular hazing had no mind in roughing us up a bit. Just enough to make us fear more abuse. Now we known about these situation but the Shadow player was/is the one to hold the pain from these situation. I guess the last job we had those co-workers were the last straw for her. Not that I blame her now that she has shared with all of us. We can totally understand her point of view.
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The person that we talked to looked sad when we told her this but she did tell us a joke.
“You know the Quaker saying? The one that goes like this, Even Thee, and thou are quire, And thie are just a little quire.” So each of us are different in our own way. But to those that choose not to accept each others different. They be the quires of them all.
We laughed at that one and said amen. Now to help this one to heal so that we may all heal from the pain that she has carried for us.
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Ahh well just needed to share with some thanks for being here.

(((((((((((( Anderson )))))))))))) I understand this. My alter Andy keeps threatening to harm me if I go back to work. But I want to work. It is taking a lot of work to figure out what is at the root of that pain. I was surprised by the memory he was keeping that was the root of that pain.

It is hard to learn the secrets the alters kept from us. Hugs to you!

You are both amazing examples of healing and strength anderson and wepow.

anderson, thank you for sharing so much with us. we haven't been able to say much lately, even in person, talking has gotten harder and harder for us to do. but we are here and we care very much.

all my love.

(((((((((((((((anderson & wepow)))))))))))))))

Such amazing courage and strength. To hear the truth and to keep moving forward...there should be some kind of award or medal given for the bravery that you amazing people have so that all others IRL can see you for the wonderful dpeth of character you behold.

Thank you for sharing.
kp

Lots of 'food for thought'. Anderson, on this statement: "Now to help this one to heal so that we may all heal from the pain that she has carried for us." I relate. Unearth the memory/ies and heal the part.

WePow: Thank you for stating this. This is a disconnect for me too. The harm factor if we return to work and at this harm is so stinking subtle,, argh. We usually go into together with the therapist and bring that trauma out together into the present.

Hunny

I remember the good T from long ago. It was good then to know that I was remembering and that One was their for us. From those here we have learned that there are still good ones out there just not here. When you go to a T or P-doc and they tell you that they can not help you unless you take the meds to make the voices go away it kind of defeats the purpose of healing and helping each other inside to heal from the pain that binds us. That is why this place is such an oasis for those of us with out a qualified person to help us.. When we are working with trama we use the comfort foods and a lot of heat. Its weird but we found that by increasing the body temperature it not only gives comfort but it allows alters to feel safe to heal. WE try to allow the allters to find safe time out and now that we are able to talk face to face more often to the people that we are trying to relearn to trust again it is not so bad. The body is in less pain today we just hope that it continues.
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this is good to have a place in which to air our pain with out the Bs of you know ........ But here we can heal and not have ti hide ourselvs or be treated with condesiden aragance. That why our faviorte saying is when you think you know everything you are a fool because you can never see the full story.
WE thought that when we moved here it would be the land of enlighted. after all this is the middle of the new age movement.
what we found is a mential health system that was put back into the dark ages and had no time to deal with the invisable world of reallity.
The odd part is that the people that made a name for themselfs from my apparent lack of memior or skills. Where right in a manner of speaking but I would challenge anyone to be able to perform their best under consent abuse from others. But coming here finely being able to let go of our son and not force our selves to work until we found a way to bring peace inside. Weather or not Shadow is the last one we can not say but even I aggre with her on this no money , nothing is worth endureing if you can not have the people you trust besides you and if they do not have the ability or desire to be by our side in public or private. then they sould eventual understand as we intergrate more we should be able to move on. but either way this time it was them that let Shadow feel safe to share and give us the means to be safe while we heal. Just hope it continues.
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But most of all we are thankful for those here that have the courage and the stregnth to help each other and to understand the pain we bear.