Time Question

Do people with DID lose track of time? My friend told me he needs to rest, and readjust his sleep schedule. The first couple of days I didn't think anything of it....he sent me short msgs saying he still needed time to rest. The next couple of days I wondered if he was avoiding me. A couple of days after that I sent him a short msg & he responded, and we talked on the phone.

He told me before that time goes quickly and he will lose track of other things.

Am I being too emotional in thinking he is avoiding me? Any thoughts would be appreciated, I don't know what to think at this point.

We do lose track of time but not as much now as we used to. Before we all knew about each other it was like if one person was to the front then the others lost that time. I had gaps all over the place of lost time. But now we all know about each other and for the most part we all know what each other is doing and when they are out. That means that we dont lose time to the same extent.

I dont know if it is any help to you, but like your friend I suffer from constant tiredness. All the time I feel like I could lie dowm. Its a battle some days not to give into it.

The tiredness makes it hard to socialise and so on becasue I get so tired its hard to motivate myself out the door.

Im sure your friend is not avoiding you. But you could ask????

I encourage you to ask your friend your questions. He is the only one that can truly answer them correctly.

That being said, when my husband was dissociating frequently he would have blank spots in his memory. Time he couldn't account for.

As for tired, his doctor said that can be attributed to his depression.

Everyone is different.

i agree with 1day that asking your friend would be ideal. however, yes, it is possible that he is losing time and that's making his sleep schedule off. it could be like this, he decides to go to sleep but an alter comes out and decides they want to stay awake, so the body doesn't get any rest and stays tired as a result. but directing your questions to your friend is the best idea b/c multiplicity affects everyone differently, as is the case with most everything in life, and so it could be different for him.

good luck

-shadow

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audrey1 said:
We do lose track of time but not as much now as we used to. Before we all knew about each other it was like if one person was to the front then the others lost that time. I had gaps all over the place of lost time. But now we all know about each other and for the most part we all know what each other is doing and when they are out. That means that we dont lose time to the same extent.

I dont know if it is any help to you, but like your friend I suffer from constant tiredness. All the time I feel like I could lie dowm. Its a battle some days not to give into it.

The tiredness makes it hard to socialise and so on becasue I get so tired its hard to motivate myself out the door.

Im sure your friend is not avoiding you. But you could ask????



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Hi Audrey,

Your answers have helped me a lot, I think he may be experiencing some time loss because of his alter as well as being overtired. I took your advice and asked him earlier if he was avoiding me, and he said no. He reiterated that he has been trying to readjust his sleeping schedule and that is all.

I was hesitant to ask the question, simply because I don't want to appear too pushy. Do you prefer someone ask you questions? Are there some questions that upset you? I don't want to upset him or bring any negative aspect into the friendship.

I guess I should just learn to go slow.

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1dayatatime2 said:
I encourage you to ask your friend your questions. He is the only one that can truly answer them correctly.

That being said, when my husband was dissociating frequently he would have blank spots in his memory. Time he couldn't account for.

As for tired, his doctor said that can be attributed to his depression.

Everyone is different.

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Your comments have been so helpful, thank you 1dayatatime2. As I said to Audrey, I did ask even though I felt a little uncomfortable. I don't want to put any pressure on him. As time goes on, I hope I can learn when to back off or when to simply ask how he feels.

Thanks so much for responding to my question!

Helloe broken-wing ( i like your name),

Im not sure how to answer your questions. You ask if I would like to be asked questions????? MMMmm, depends on the question? and sort of everyone is different.

I have not spoken to anyone, except my therapist, about my other people. If a friend started to ask me about it I would find it very hard to deal with. But that could just be me, it may well be that other people would be happy to talk.

I think you should take things slow and see what your freind brings to the table? It may well be that he will raise it himself, it may be that he wont, I dont know.

Im glad your friend is not avoiding you. Must be a good person that you care enough to find out more. I think that is very good of you.

Be careful, look after you and your freind and I wish you both all the suucess in the world.

Audrey X

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shadowdancer said:
i agree with 1day that asking your friend would be ideal. however, yes, it is possible that he is losing time and that's making his sleep schedule off. it could be like this, he decides to go to sleep but an alter comes out and decides they want to stay awake, so the body doesn't get any rest and stays tired as a result. but directing your questions to your friend is the best idea b/c multiplicity affects everyone differently, as is the case with most everything in life, and so it could be different for him.

good luck

-shadow

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That may be what is happening, thanks so much for the insight. Earlier this evening, I talked to him and the alter...so I can see where the alter may "stay up" while my friend needs sleep.

My only concern is with asking too many questions at one time. I am impatient sometimes, and naturally curious.

Thanks for your input, shadowdancer!

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audrey1 said:
Helloe broken-wing ( i like your name),

Im not sure how to answer your questions. You ask if I would like to be asked questions????? MMMmm, depends on the question? and sort of everyone is different.

I have not spoken to anyone, except my therapist, about my other people. If a friend started to ask me about it I would find it very hard to deal with. But that could just be me, it may well be that other people would be happy to talk.

I think you should take things slow and see what your freind brings to the table? It may well be that he will raise it himself, it may be that he wont, I dont know.

Im glad your friend is not avoiding you. Must be a good person that you care enough to find out more. I think that is very good of you.

Be careful, look after you and your freind and I wish you both all the suucess in the world.

Audrey X

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Thanks for the compliment on my name!

Telling me that you've only talked to your therapist is interesting, but as you said everyone is different. What I meant by asking you if you minded answering questions was, if a friend knew you had DID, would you welcome questions on how you deal with it, or what happens to you, or would you rather tell the person when you are ready?

I do think taking it slow is the best for now, and I will follow his lead, so to speak. Since I've only known him a short time and he has shared his alter with me (and we've also talked about it when he has been "intact") I get the impression I could ask anything. But, as I said I don't want to overstep boundaries...I respect him too much.

The question about losing time was more because I was feeling sad that he hadn't contacted me for a while. I have got to learn to take it one day at a time and be patient.

Thanks so much for your help, Audrey1!

AAHH Broken - wing,

I understand now. So your friend has been upfront and it is "out" that he has others. Well if I was in the position, and my friend was supportive I would love to have someone ask me questions and let me talk about it. In fact, i probably wouldnt need to be asked any questions cos if I knew someone who knew about my problem (apart from my therapist) i would probably be wanting to tell them lots.

Audrey XXXXX

(Iris)

Just checking in to say that I'm beginning to understand that time is different for those with DID.

My friend will say "I'll talk to you tonight" and then I won't hear from him for a couple of days. I start worrying that something is wrong, but he has simply lost track of time from what I can tell.

I don't think people with alters think of the passage of time the way other people do. It has helped me a lot in understanding why my friend's idea of "talk to you tonight" or whenever...and mine are vastly different.

Hi Broken _Wing,

Yes, some people with DID do lose a lot of time everyday. If the alters that function the most are very separated and communication is difficult time is lost every day. It's not something that i can help and it's terribly difficult when people don't understand.
If you can you should alway give the benefit of doubt . Don't assume that your friend remembers anything- just be a friend at the time- a brand new day each day.
It's so difficult to live with DID when communication doesn't happen. i literally have no friends IRL because i can never communicate inside and keep up with communication with them. My parts won't know friends or have the samee degree of involvement to have friendships. It's so hard to lose another friend because of the way we are.

Take care,
kerria

Thank you very much for that insight, kerria. I will give him the benefit of the doubt. I will be patient and wait for whenever he is ready to make contact.

The last couple of days have been difficult for him, and he is very tired. We talked briefly on the phone both days and I tell him I understand that he needs to rest or just be alone with his thoughts, and that I will wait to hear from him. Asking about the time question, and getting some answers has helped enormously in understanding why he will sometimes disappear.

I will be here for him, that's what I want him to know.

I am sorry to hear that you sometimes have problems keeping up communication with friends. Perhaps if you let them know that you lose time, they would be more compassionate and understanding.

Good luck on your journey.

(IMO .)