Why do you speak in the plural ?

I'm hoping nobody is offended by this but I don't understand the whole speaking in plural thing. if you make a post...if it's all of your alters talking and you use the word "we" and you are all in agreement...does'nt that mean you are integrated ? Aside from that, is'nt using the word "we' or "our" enabling ? I want to disable my alters, not acknowledge them. Except in art for some reason. To me they are the enemy.

You;'ll have to forgive me. i am new to this DID stuff. My alters are not the person who is speaking to you now. Someday they might be a part of me. They behave seperately from me. I will say "he" or "she", but not "we". Having this is hokey enough. the whole plural speaking business makes it seem even hokier. Do you feel it makes people take you less seriously ? People don't believe me now. If i started the "we" biz, I think my credibility would be knocked down a few pegs lower.

What has been your experience ?

.....my experiance has been.....

.....one for all.....and.......

.....all for one.......................

.....in our expereince.............

it is a rare day when anyone of her alters includeing myself can make 'i' statements. dunno why. so avoid them like the plague. 'we' is much easeir far some reason. course been talkin like that long since before she was ever told her is DID.

lookingfarainbows

Those within me find it easer to us plural. For one thing we had to go so long in being told that we are not real or accepted by outsiders and even at time within the group. That to us it is a way of ackowledging the different points of view and opionions. When you accept those within you begin to realize how diverse you are to each other and that they each have their own needs to be healed. Later whe healing has come to those within it is a sign of passage that you are able to do things as a whole and in agrrement with the whole group.
We hope that makes sences we are to the point that we feel more comfortable ackowledging the whole more then outsiders are. That is part of the stigma of being different form those around you.
This comes when you find ways to accept your self and those within you. How you do it will decide how quickly you progress and the peace that come from self acceptance and not needing to conform to the general public.
Good luck and we send you safe thoughts from all of us.

sometimes people choose to say we because they have accepted that their alters are connected to them aka the alter susie is within the host becky, becky has accepted that susie is a part of her,and contains an emotion or situation for becky because becky could not handle having that emotion or abuse happening to herself.

sometimes the saying we is idicative of whether the person has co consciousness abilities. Susie and becky can hear each others thoughts, becky can be semi aware while Susie is out dealing with an emotion or situation that becy cannot handle.

sometimes the saying of we is an unconscious act simular to what people do when they sleep walk. sometimes the person doing the sleep walking does not realize while they are sleeping they got up during the night and watched the Midnght Special on Television. saying we in this kind of context is just part of an unconscious act.

sometimes like you people can choose whether to say we. some people keep it singular with those that dont approve or know of the existance of the alters, and then with others that they are comfortable with they use the plural forms of vocabulary.

sometimes people use both. the host may be using the singular forms of vocabulary and the alters using the plural forms of vocabulary.

some people use the plural form of vocabulary because it is what their treatment plans include aka when a therapist is attempting to help the host develop communication and acceptance of their self and those within they will use the plural forms of vocabulary and in doing so the host automatically follows suit. ie during a session little susie and teen ager andrea came out so the therapist asks the host- what do you think all of you want to do about this? what do all of you think is best for all of you? and the host replies in the plural I dont know what we want to do about it.. We dont know what would be best.

overall why do people use the plural forms of vocabulary depends on how their systems are comprised, amount of co consciousness abilities and the comfort level and the type of treatment plans they and their therapists are using.

YOu are living as one system or as one buessness if you say I would love to change and relocate the building for the buessness well you can diciede that slone but if you said we it would be ignologing that the others have a choce. We are living as one big team and unless you have been out all of your life then they are part of your past prseant and most likly Furture!

I hope this helped
Lavender

I normally do not use plural form, if I do I am having alot of stress and dissociating alot more than normal.
But at the peak of my stressful time I could not help but use plural. I did it without even knowing it. I was flickering like a candle in the wind and not knowing which was dominant when. That was just prior to my Diagnosis.
I do not know if that helps at all...just my experience.
But i am normally aware of most of the activities. However, there ahve been numerous times that I lost time....sigh...the first time I ahve openly admitted that...

I actually see your point. I don't use the 'we' either.
As far as I'm concerned, tis just 'I'... The agreement thing does make it seem integrated.
You're not alone on that.

People who tend to use 'we' are people that are aware of their system and often are those that have been in therapy a long time.

Also I think we tend to trust each other here in this forum and therefore are more open to using 'we' than we would be in real life though I do slip up many a time and say 'we' when not thinking to hold it back.

I think it is a place in our healing of having accepted who 'we' are.

But you can use 'we' or 'I' or whatever you are comfortable with!

Hugs

Interesting. Thanks.

Interesting and.... informative.Thanks for explaining y'all.~WOolf

We speak in plural ("OUR head hurts" etc) because it is ours... not just one persons.
sometimes when we are talking about the body parts, we will say "THE head hurts" or whatever. It depends

we say we because we want to-simple as that

Very early on in my therapy - when I first became aware of my alts - I definitely used 'I'. 'They' were 'them' and were absolutely unwanted.
As therapy progressed and 'we' became more cooperative, we referred to us as 'we' when talking about the group as a whole, or only several members within the group - but only to Ts and a few close friends that knew about the DID. With them 'I' was used only when the front was talking solely about themselves. With others we tried to use 'I' all of the time, but sometimes slipped up.
Post therapy (and not fully integrated, but mostly) I use 'we' only very, very rarely (such as in this post!)
When in the thick of therapy 'we' seemed the most natural and accurate thing to use... because we were a we, and it simply would have been *wrong* to use the singular 'I'!
Now that I *own* all of me 'I' is the most appropriate to use. One alt wrote some of this with me, and while I acknowledge her as her own separate self internally, she is also now an 'I'.
(Don't know if that made any sense to anyone but me!)