[Monty_girl]

what do you do or say when the first words out of your T's mouth is that they are worried and concerned about you? and then get all the phone #'s for everyone in your family. i really don't think i'm that bad off. i just happen to be in my own world right now. i can't tell you what day it is or for that matter what year. so confused i can't figure it out. but it just doesn't seem to matter. i'm just going day after day. don't really care. it's ok right now living in the fog. just safe like that.
monty

Post deleted by Petunia

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((monty)))))))))))))))))

in knowing your t over the years, when you tell me that i'm concerned as well.

i think t might talk to some family members to see how they think you're doing? i dunno.

however, i do know that he has you BEST INTEREST in mind.

what else did he say? did he mention hosp? do you remember?

((((((((((((((monty)))))))))))))))) i love ya.

kd

there is a federal law called HIPPA privacy law that states no medical or mental treatment professional can release any information right down to the fact that they are treating you without your permission. I found out about this law when a DHS caseworker found a therapy letter sealed and addressed to my therapist in a box of Items for my son. Due to the caseworkers harrassment my therapist was the person who was dropping off my things for my son. I had given her the things but forgot to tell her the therapy information was in the there. Long story short the caseworker admitted in court that she saw it was addressed to my therapist and opend it she claimedthe envelop was not sealed but could not prove that to the judge because she told told the judge she threw the envelop away. after opening the letter she made copied and distributed them to various people on the case. she had no writtenor verbal permission from me or my lawyer to do this. where is she now? fired and can no longer work for DHS agencies because this was one of many laws she broke on my case and others. anyway when I contacted the civil rights office because they are the ones that investigate HIPPA breaches I was told that my therapist at that time could very well be held accountable for breaching HIPPA laws also if I chose to prosecute. because EVERYTHING I tell her, show her, my files she keeps on me and so on are strictly confidential and in order for ANYONE and my therapist to have conversations about me or release of my files there must be an active release form on file signed by me giving the exact information as to who is contacted or my file gets released to. This release form miust be updated and resigned every 6 months.

If you think you are in danger of being hospitalized there is a form called Declaration For Mental health treatment. This paper wont prevent you from being hospitalized if 2 psychiatrists (2 psychiatrists agreement is what is needed for involuntary commitment) state you have to be hospitalized, but it will allow you to remain in control of your treatment plan while in the mental health units. The first couple pages is choosing who your representative is in case you are unconscious or otherwise deemed too unstable to consent or withhold treatment decisions. The next page you fill in the things you DO concent to during your stay on the unit (medications, the facility of your choice, the types of groups and counseling you are willing to participate in, ECT if you want that option. and so on) The next page is for listing the things you DO NOT want to be a part of your treatment plans (medications, ECT, any allergies, groups you refuse to participate in and so on) The next page is for listing any additional information like diet, religious, physical and mental health history, what you think will help you while in the hospital when you get upset and so on.
then the paper must be witnessed by two people as you sign it, your representative must sign it and then you make copies for your therapist /therapy agency, representative, and primary physician. With three hospitalizations behind me two were involuntary I filled in that form just as fast as my therapist said the agency was asking that their clients either fill it out or sign a weiver that they don't want a declaration for mental health care on file. Once the paper is signed dated and distributed the ONLY person that they can contact in an emergency is your representative. and that representative MUST follow what you wrote on the form when making decisions for you if you cannot. make those decisions for yourself. No more restraints and threats of ECT for me for refusing haldol or a sleeping pill (or fbecause they woke me up to give me a sleeping pill) on a unit where it is a standard protocal for all. Best of all my relatives can not interfere with my treatment plans and programs since they are not my representative.

[Monty_girl]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((( KD ))))))))))))))))))))))) Love Ya too

he's mentioned hospital several times in the last few weeks and said he would do what he needed to do if it came to that. he knows i would try and run if i thought he would put me inpatient. so that is the last resort. i don't see him again for 3 weeks. going to be hard.

[__zh]

stay safe in the fog state if you can monty.

from what you've written over time here you have expressed your T as being very good and someone who works with you. it doesn't sound like he would mention hospital lightly. he must have valid reasons for why he is asking these questions of you.

three weeks, eh? any traveling during that time?? can you try to check in here when you remember to?

any last resort that keeps you safe is a good one monty. sorry to hear this is confusing and scary. we'd rather see you upset at being in hospital than lost somewhere in worse shape. T and H are both working to help you sweetie.

(((monty_girl))))

monty--
thinking of you as i bumble along. should i blow the fog horn or do you want to?
w_i

[Monty_girl]

yeah 3 weeks, I leave wed and won't be back till sometime fri. at a conference. then he's gone the week after to a conference he has to go to. so it won't be till the week after when we will be able to see him. we set up a safety plan for when i'm gone. calling in and checking in kind of thing. then when he's gone i'll check in with the another T i'm comfortable with in his office if i need to.

he has good reasons for his questions i do have to admit to that much. but i've always been very honest with him about feelings and actions. i hope and know he understands i do try and help myselves when things get to the edge. has been to the point he'll call every 2 hours to check on me. but the hospital he knows is a very scary place for me. was abused in a state pysch hospital as a teen. since then when in the hospital i will just sit there till they release me. feelings boiling inside. smiling and laughing outside. i don't know. sometimes i think just take that power and keep me safe cause i don't feel very safe. but then the fear of hospitals and the ppl there over takes that wanting help feeling. and i feel like i've fallen deeper into a well of h*ll.

i'll keep checking in. i haven't slept much and my head feels so bad.
monty

[Monty_girl]

oh w_i, can you blow that horn. I dropped mine down the well some time ago.
monty

[__zh]

monty,

ugh!!! so sorry about the horrible experiences of abuse as teen in psych hospital. similar but different experience here so completely understand your coping method of sitting there until release.

T knows your very valid fears so his mentioning hospital must be rather serious given past history. very glad to read of plans for calling and checking in with T and with back up T. safety plans are good things when needed and sounds like it is needed right now.

your honesty with T is very very good.

keep talking with T, H and back up T (if needed) as needed.

is there anything you can take for sleep? lack of sleep makes everything seem worse when insomnia hits. take insomnia out before it takes you out!

keep taking care.

[Monty_girl]

ty _zh, I did get some sleep last night. took a couple of tylenol PM's and that worked last night. head feels better this morning. hoping it stays this way.
monty