yesterday we started a new road in session doing what counselor calls "mother work". cores mom passed away in 96 but as she was struggling with agorophobia she didnt atend the service and got no closure and all of us have lived in denial of it ever happening the 16th was her(mom) birthday and it just intensified he chaos inside there are so so so many crying wailing desperate for "mommy" all ages it seemed to have come from nowhere in the past 2 weeks but is making functioning nearly impossible so it was decided it was time to start this work we had NO idea how excruciating it was!!!! and just a mere scratch on the tip of the iceberg yesterday left us feeling like we had no skin on raw exposed in agony everyone has to have a chance to work through this individually and its not going to be a short process added onto the intense amount of seasonal triggers and fear we already have we find it hard to do anything we werent taught any coping skills for this we are in so much pain thanks for reading if you did

[Gus1234U]

ooh {{{{{{{{{{Trinity~!}}}}}}}}}} yes, coping skills,, high priority! Self Soothing,,, must get that one,,,, we will spend all the time we have being here for you, while you get thru this!! one thing i did was learn to be my own mother, then i did what a good mother would do,,, i fed me, clothed me, hugged me,,, took me swimming, and all those things,,, Mother can be re-created ~!! Well Done,, on all your hard work, i know it took great Courage and Determination~!!!!! Gus

ty ((((gus))) it means a lot to know someone cares we have no idea how we will get through this right now *sigh*

sorry

[justdontknow]

Trin,

I hear you on doing things in therapy that leave you raw and exposed. It seems like that's what we've been doing as well, but me mostly. It is an awful feeling, but I am told that it is worth it in the end. Hang on dear friend. Hugs if ok.

Cris

[Miracle1986]

me relee soree u al herting lots rite now
luv wilbit

[bitterdregs]

hey that's rough. Sorry you are going through it. My dad passed in 2000 and I still sometimes cry out for him. I wish I could say something to make it better.

[Nupoet64]

(((((Trinity)))))...grief is a hard thing and everyone grieves differently and at their own pace. I am so sorry you are having to go thruough this. It will be great healing when you are on the other side. But, until then, we are all here for you...with ears, eyes, and hugs...

[Hunny]

I just remember this pain of loss but not with the feelings so much anymore. It will get softer. Take lots of breaths and cuddle with your stuffies and take some lovely quiet times from remembering...like those lovely puffy white clouds today. They just caught our attention and thought what fun to jump and play within them.

:grouphug"

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((trinity))))

Thank you for posting. I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. I do understand those feelings of those within that do not understand and sometimes they cry for mommy. Please comfort them as best you can and allow them to feel what they are feeling. Like someone said surround yourself with all the comfort you can and wrap yourself in a blanket if that will create a safety feeling.

That pain that you speak of is so hard and it does hurt. For us that raw open hurt feels like someone is pouring acid into a raw open place and it hurts. I am really sorry you are feeling that way. We have been feeling that too and trying to find a way to work through that pain.

The work you are doing will take time. Please allow yourself that time that you need. Take it one minute at a time, even one second at a time if you need too. You would not be working on this if you were not ready to do this. And as hard as it is remember to breath and to take those breaks as you can.

It is hard for those within that do not understand and never had the chance to say goodbye and have closure. Just allow yourself to feel what you have to feel and know that you will make it through. I know it is so so hard and hurts.

So many of us never learned coping skills as it was all we could do to survive. Learning to take care of you and be the mother to yourself you need and needed will take time. It is something we are trying to learn too. It is not easy especially when we never had a mother to show us how to be a mother at all.

This process will take as long as it takes and there is no time limit. Pace yourself and try not to expect too much at one time, but only what you can do. Each one needs to do their work surrounding this and you all deserve that time. It did not take a day to get here and it will take time to work through this. You deserve to give yourself that time.

We do get the time of year fears too. Do your self care and keep posting and reaching out as you can. We do care and are here for you. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

we really need support right now

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((trinity))))

Know that you are not alone. That we all care and are here for you. Keep reaching out and posting as you can. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

nononononononono no mooooooooooooore noooooooooooomore no more stop plese stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[anderson]

(((Trinity)))
You are right each one has to go through the healing process one step at a time. We are sorry that we have not been here but we have been healing to. one step at a time. please treat each other kindly with lots of soft blankets and stuffies. When we went through this we wrote letters to the person of all the thigs that we wanted to tell them but did not get a chance to do it. Remember greif comes in many stagges and alters each will be at their own stage.
Sending safe hugs and thoughts from all of us to all of you.!

have another session today at 4pm really scared and nervous it shouldnt be this hard

[justdontknow]

((((((Trinity))))))

We are here with you.

massive unplanned 3hr session today and another tomorrow though not as long so utterly exhausted and cant remember much of anything

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((trinity))))

Thank you for letting us know. So sorry you are going through all of this. Remember to give yourself permission to rest. I know it is hard and that many times rest does not come but try to even relax and do something for all of you. It will take time for you all to work through this give yourself that time.

We are here for you and listening. Remember to do your self care through this. Allow those within to have time and express themselves too. Be kind to yourself, what you are going through is hard work and takes a lot of energy. We do understand to the best of our ability what you are facing.

Keep posting and reaching out. We do care. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts to alll of you. Always.

dps

[Gus1234U]

Ohhh my dear Trin~~~ you must remember how many people love you, you can tell because we sit with you, and listen to you, and never leave you alone. being only human ourselves, we cannot be perfect, nor should you expect that of yourselves. please, practice accepting that we are each, including you, doing the best we can at the moment, and tho the moments seem to run into days and weeks and years, one unexpected day, they will run out, and it will be over, and you will have peace and unity, because you kept working, kept trying, kept the faith with your friends... inside and out. Forgive me for loving this time of year,,, maybe you can even look at how i do it and find some relief. i hope you are sleeping right now, and find good things to wake up to,,, ***HUGS*** Gus

session was cancelled today and we woke to find we had indeed been punished for crying yesteerday dont want to do this anymore

for everyone

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((trinity))))

Thank you for letting us know. I am sorry your session was cancelled. Why would you be punished for crying? It is not wrong for crying. I am really sorry it has been so hard for you all. Please do take care of yourself. Know that we are listening and care. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

we were punished because we arent allowed suposed to cry get in deep dep trouble should have known better so now we have cuts on body wont be crying no more sorry thanks for listning

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((trinity))))

Crying it not wrong hon. It is okay thought I validate how you are feeling and that you have been told it is not okay. Please take care of you and know that you do not deserve anymore hurt. I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. You all have been hurt enough already. Know that we care and are here for you. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

we ned hugs