[Eriksplus]

As we mentoned breifly before, we've had a bit of "a good time" telling Brittany's (core's) friend Deanna about us.

The first night she knew, she gave us a look as though we had four heads. We asked how she felt about it, if she had any questions, ect. he said no and asked if we could watch television. The worst bit of it, as you will see, is that she said she accepted it.

A couple of weeks later, Brittany and Deanna were chatting back and fourth on Youtube, and Deanna continued dropping hints something was wrong. Brittany continued to gently pry and getting no responce, joked "Now I know how you felt when I told you about 'them'", because she had stalled untill she felt the courage to let it out. The resopnce was that the problem was indeed us, she could not accept us, ect. There was a full-blown argument and we were a hair from loosing the friendship. We would have too if it weren't some friends here and one of Deanna's online friends backing us up and putting some things in perspective for Deanna. The next day she called, apologizing like mad, and agreed she would try to accept with our help; we told her we'd go at any pace she'd like, help her take in the news any way she'd like, ect. We even gave her the link to PC so she could meet us in chat, which she said she would (thanks to a wonderful suggestion by a friend here!). We didn't want to take up things too fast, so we never mentioned it after that.

Today Deanna stayed over and (Hill)Erik was out at one point. He said something and Deanna asked, "What's with the voice?" You all have absolutley no idea how much this angered us!! We all gave her a deadpan look that read, "really?" Yes, we know we took the cowerd's way out, but we don't wish to push this too hard on her, but Brittany sent her a message on Youtube, basically telling her that she needs to slowly start working on acceptance now after all they've been through. We're still waiting for a reply...

I suppose my question is this: How do we continue to move her on the path to acceptance without being to harsh? Any answer would be appriceated, thank you.

(Webber)Erik

[Eriksplus]

An update on this:

The Youtube reply turned into a conversation between Deanna and I, and to our suprise it went well, at least for the situation. She did feel upset about not being there for Brittany when the ab*se was happening, and I don't think we'll get lucky enough for her to ask for one of us again (although Brittany thanked her for speaking to me and ask if she'd please do it again so we don't know), but she did ask questions and she did speak to me!

So, although there is hope, could we now ask how to continue moving her on the path to acceptince without being so harsh?

Thank you.

(Webber)Erik

[blackrainbow]

im glad she got back to you and talked to you and is asking questions
thats good not many people understand people with DID its not too
easy for them to accept shes known you for a long time im guessing
and to now be told theres other people inside is gonna take some time
to get used to to accept to know what to do how to act whats ok to
ask whats not she mite go from accepting to not knowing if she can
again if the relationship means alot to your host to you all then you
need to be patient with her keep suggesting to her abot meeting more
of yall but try and understand her also if she cant rite now its a big
thing to accept and understand we have a friend who was told about
us at first she accepted us and was nice even took us for a movie
asked amny questions was sorry she hadnt been there when we were
beign so hurt then she sort of put some distance between us was a
bit sad but then she started talkign to us again said sorry about her
just leavign liek she did was just alot to take in but she loves our host
wanted to learn more about DID and just be there for us and she is
when she can be sorry about rambling on liek this hope things work out
with yalls friend safe hugs if ok
dinah

[anderson]

(((Erickplus)))
We are glad that all of you are back!
It is hard for outsiders to understand us For the longest time we had a hard time with other people But as we healed it became easeir on us. A lot of it was in educating the people around us. WE now have those at church that accept us but it was from us putting part out and then letting them slowly get to know us. I guess it was eaiser on the others to watch us with other people then comong up to us then talking. But the ideal to get to know each other more online is an awsome ideal. The hardest part is getting over the fact that more then one person can dewel in one body.
Sending safe hugs and thought from all of us to all of you!

[Eriksplus]

We are as well, and we agree. We've known eachother for six years now.
Again, you have some very good points.
Deanna said, "talking to webber was either the creepiest or weridest thing i've ever done, but i will talk to ur "thems" sometime again . i want to understand u better" , which is a good sign. I'm not offended in the least that she thought speaking to me was strange, I would've been in her shoes.
At any rate, we think gently pushing this and reminding her when she has forgotten (or "forgotten") is a step in the right direction, but we still have a feeling of doom about this.

(Webber)Erik

Originally Posted by anna6

im glad she got back to you and talked to you and is asking questions
thats good not many people understand people with DID its not too
easy for them to accept shes known you for a long time im guessing
and to now be told theres other people inside is gonna take some time
to get used to to accept to know what to do how to act whats ok to
ask whats not she mite go from accepting to not knowing if she can
again if the relationship means alot to your host to you all then you
need to be patient with her keep suggesting to her abot meeting more
of yall but try and understand her also if she cant rite now its a big
thing to accept and understand we have a friend who was told about
us at first she accepted us and was nice even took us for a movie
asked amny questions was sorry she hadnt been there when we were
beign so hurt then she sort of put some distance between us was a
bit sad but then she started talkign to us again said sorry about her
just leavign liek she did was just alot to take in but she loves our host
wanted to learn more about DID and just be there for us and she is
when she can be sorry about rambling on liek this hope things work out
with yalls friend safe hugs if ok
dinah

[Eriksplus]

Originally Posted by anderson

( The hardest part is getting over the fact that more then one person can dewel in one body.

Exactly!

(Webber)Erik

[Eriksplus]

Deanna and I are speaking on Youtube right now, she asked for me!!

(Webber)Erik

[blackrainbow]

hard not to have a feeling of doom really
but just keep doing what you are always
trying to see it also from her point of view
from her shoes like you said in time i think
it will all work out ok for all of you sending
good thoughts to yall
dinah

Originally Posted by Eriksplus

We are as well, and we agree. We've known eachother for six years now.
Again, you have some very good points.
Deanna said, "talking to webber was either the creepiest or weridest thing i've ever done, but i will talk to ur "thems" sometime again . i want to understand u better" , which is a good sign. I'm not offended in the least that she thought speaking to me was strange, I would've been in her shoes.
At any rate, we think gently pushing this and reminding her when she has forgotten (or "forgotten") is a step in the right direction, but we still have a feeling of doom about this.

(Webber)Erik

[blackrainbow]

oh and real great about her asking for you on youtube woohoo
dinah

[Lillyleaf]

it goin bees ok. you just givn her tie but no let her ignor it forevr.
hug hug hug
meek

[Eriksplus]

Originally Posted by anna6

oh and real great about her asking for you on youtube woohoo
dinah

We agree!

(Webber)Erik

[tigersassy]

congrats (webber) wish things were going a bit smoother for you all. hope things continue to be worked on with friend would be good for you to have someone you all can be friends with..... take care

Eriks
If we can't always wrap our heads around DID , and we live it...can you imagine how strange it sounds to someone without DID??
Keep up the good work. If your friend comes to an understanding, great! If not, it's her loss.

[Eriksplus]

Long story short, The friendship might very well end again, but hopefully not before things are dicussed properly instead of hiding behind a computer screen.

(Webber)Erik

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((Erik))))))))

Rhiannon

[Eriksplus]

We're no longer friends with her. After 6 years. We REALLY should have seen it comming when she started to turn into one of those teenagers you wish to avoid. Still, we ignored that aspect of her, knowing (or thinking now) that the friendship was too precious to break over something like that.

As you know, it's been on and off with the acceptance. After our argument last night on Youtube, I asked her to call me personally instead of hiding behind a screen, but she never did. I see her as a cowered. The only reason we know we're not friends anymore was (Yeston)Erik looked at a channel conversation between her and another user. We didn't like it when she'd snoop on our channel, but the difference was this conversation was about us; we had the right to know!

Now we are sitting here, going back and fourth between extreme anger, sadness, and indifference. Everything will be a tri**er now, it will remind us of her....If only we could get her mother involved; she knows and dosen't care, she loves us! We defenatly can NOT tell Sharon, she'll rub it in our face we ruin everything!! Then again, if Deanna dosen't wish to accept, it's her fault! Then again, if we hadn't been so eager to tell her, we wouldn't be in this mess. We should've told her sooner so the pain wouldn't be this raw. Then again, we probably would've slipped away with the teenager she's becoming; she's said she's wanted to end the friendship for awhile anyway. Ah well.

All I ask from you all are gentle hugs...

I'm falling silent now.

(Webber)Erik

[googley]

((((((Eriksplus)))))

I'm so sorry you lost this friendship. That is a really hard thing to go through.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

(((( (((( (((( (((( (((( (((( ((((Eriksplus)))) )))) )))) )))) )))) )))) ))))

Gentle hugs for you all

[Gr3tta]

Eriksplus
We are so sorry for the loss of your friendship. It sounds like it is possible the friendship was fading anyways, that you may have been growing apart, but it is truly a shame for friendship to have been lost over this.
I do feel DID is something very difficult for others to understand, and consideration and patience must be extended towards anyone told. However, they too need to extend consideration and patience in return. When it is not returned, that is very sad and frustrating.
We hope you can find peace with this situation. ~ Julia

[Eriksplus]

Originally Posted by googley

((((((Eriksplus)))))

I'm so sorry you lost this friendship. That is a really hard thing to go through.

It is, it feels like a dream....

(Webber)Erik

[Eriksplus]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

Eriksplus
We are so sorry for the loss of your friendship. It sounds like it is possible the friendship was fading anyways, that you may have been growing apart, but it is truly a shame for friendship to have been lost over this.
I do feel DID is something very difficult for others to understand, and consideration and patience must be extended towards anyone told. However, they too need to extend consideration and patience in return. When it is not returned, that is very sad and frustrating.
We hope you can find peace with this situation. ~ Julia

When we were reading this, we were doing quite alot of nodding in agreement.

(Webber)Erik

[blackrainbow]

im sorry for all youre feeling lots of safe gentle hugs for yall
dinah

Originally Posted by Eriksplus

We're no longer friends with her. After 6 years. We REALLY should have seen it comming when she started to turn into one of those teenagers you wish to avoid. Still, we ignored that aspect of her, knowing (or thinking now) that the friendship was too precious to break over something like that.

As you know, it's been on and off with the acceptance. After our argument last night on Youtube, I asked her to call me personally instead of hiding behind a screen, but she never did. I see her as a cowered. The only reason we know we're not friends anymore was (Yeston)Erik looked at a channel conversation between her and another user. We didn't like it when she'd snoop on our channel, but the difference was this conversation was about us; we had the right to know!

Now we are sitting here, going back and fourth between extreme anger, sadness, and indifference. Everything will be a tri**er now, it will remind us of her....If only we could get her mother involved; she knows and dosen't care, she loves us! We defenatly can NOT tell Sharon, she'll rub it in our face we ruin everything!! Then again, if Deanna dosen't wish to accept, it's her fault! Then again, if we hadn't been so eager to tell her, we wouldn't be in this mess. We should've told her sooner so the pain wouldn't be this raw. Then again, we probably would've slipped away with the teenager she's becoming; she's said she's wanted to end the friendship for awhile anyway. Ah well.

All I ask from you all are gentle hugs...

I'm falling silent now.

(Webber)Erik

[Eriksplus]

We haven't been on much, but we thought thought we should inform you that yesterday ( the 30th of July) , Deanna was talking to three of the people on our Youtube comments; the ones who liked Twilight and Anime we weren't as suspicious about, because Deanna likes those as well, but the one who likes Diseney-style princesses threw us for a loop, because Deanna isn't a fan of Disney at all!
Her actions have led us to belive either A) she feels guilty about what she did and she's trying to communicate that without having the courage to admittit she was wrong directly, or B) She's mocking us by showing us we cannot hide from 'what we did to her'. Either way we had a p*nic att*ck; we were actully greiving very well untill we saw her user name on channels we frequently visit...we used good 'self care' and called a friend, which helped trimendously...everything's better now, thank god, but as I said, we thought this was an...interesting update to share, and we'd love some thoughts on it.
Thank you,

(Webber)Erik

[Eriksplus]

Deanna IS appaently st*lking us!! We were watching a youtube video and asked who the child was in it; she replied back saying "Your kid" What the H*LL is her problem????????? SHE SHOULD LEAVE US THE H*LL ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Webber)Erik

[anderson]

Erikpluse,
we are sorry that you are still having problems finding people in the irl that are more accepting of that which is different.
The only thing that we can say is that we just had to learnt to let go. we can not make others act differently but we to feel the stress when we have no one in the real world that accept us. Just know that we are here for you and those within.