[Rhiannonsmoon]

Everyone has been so quiet. I can feel Morgana there just watching me but not thinking anything and definitely not speaking to me.

When DJ had the heart attack she got us showered, dressed, decent and on a 3hr bus ride to the city. It looked like I had my hands crossed in my lap, but it was Morgana holding my hand all the way there. She didn't take over, she just made sure I was able to do what had to be done.

I cried on the way home in the car with my SIL. I have not left the house to make a trip like that in over 4 years now. I thought I would feel proud of myself but all I could do was cry. I will admit I felt thrust into a situation I did not want to be in. I felt lost and nauseated, just as I do now.

It's hard to post for help, especially when I don't know what help I need at the moment. I guess if I'm to be honest, I am hoping someone else knows what I need and will offer it to me. This feeling of being lost is something I just can't come to terms with, and the others are so quiet that even though I want their help and presences I am not getting either.

....Can anyone tell me what I need right now? Has anyone been in this situation? I know I'm not the worlds only and would never think it. I think I'm just reaching out for the help of those who have been in this situation....I really do respect experience as well as support, it's always difficult to ask for either....

[Miracle1986]

A big to you
Maybe you should write a note to Morgana and the others telling them that you need to know that they are still there.
Tell them that you need to hear them... not just see them.

[Nupoet64]

(((((Rhiannon)))))....The House has grown silent as well. I have been dealing with the same thing, but am thinking maybe it is the holidays?...They are always very ahrd for us and not sure what is going on, but it is very quiet and eerie....not used to this.No one is showing themselves. They are all silent, too.
I feel like they are hiding. But they do let me feel them from time to time, I know they are still there.
Many hugs and sending support your way, please know we hear and care....

[Hunny]

Rhiannonsmoon

What good self-care you did on the trip to the hospital on the bus. Those were two huge life changing events, Rhiannonsmoon, wow.

I pray you can continue to find gentle and calm ways to help yourselves within till everyone feels safe to come back into your interior presence. It's been quite an ordeal for you all.

For me when the shock of an external event came or comes my way I have noticed that things 'appear' quiet within. I think it was a way I/we cope/coped in chaos and trauma of early life and it just continued into adulthood.

Much later the responses (or internal communication) from the various parts begins to come (in) or however I/we express them. I notice some parts are unable to speak or even write for some days, even weeks after an external event. It seems to depend on who was involved and what happened. Silence seemed appropriate, if you see what I mean.

I'm not sure if this is helping but it takes really a lot of courage to reach out for help the way you did Rhianasmoon, and we respect your asking and know it will get better within, eventually.

Is someone able to help you and DJ for a bit longer? Even though you are experienced with health matters you still need some caretaking when it happens to you.

When our h was in hospital we were not diagnosed as yet but our friend helped us calm...even though we never really got it till much later what had and was happening. She would come over almost everyday and sing to us. We cried so much in those days with all the confusion and fear.

It is okay to reach out for help from family, neighbours and community too, Rhiannonsmoon as long as you need to. I know it is hard to do when you have been self-sufficient. It doesn't mean you are weak or anything just need a bit of a hand

All the best...

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Everyone has been so quiet. I can feel Morgana there just watching me but not thinking anything and definitely not speaking to me.

When DJ had the heart attack she got us showered, dressed, decent and on a 3hr bus ride to the city. It looked like I had my hands crossed in my lap, but it was Morgana holding my hand all the way there. She didn't take over, she just made sure I was able to do what had to be done.

I cried on the way home in the car with my SIL. I have not left the house to make a trip like that in over 4 years now. I thought I would feel proud of myself but all I could do was cry. I will admit I felt thrust into a situation I did not want to be in. I felt lost and nauseated, just as I do now.

It's hard to post for help, especially when I don't know what help I need at the moment. I guess if I'm to be honest, I am hoping someone else knows what I need and will offer it to me. This feeling of being lost is something I just can't come to terms with, and the others are so quiet that even though I want their help and presences I am not getting either.

....Can anyone tell me what I need right now? Has anyone been in this situation? I know I'm not the worlds only and would never think it. I think I'm just reaching out for the help of those who have been in this situation....I really do respect experience as well as support, it's always difficult to ask for either....

[silentwhisper]

not knowing what to say but listening and caring

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Thanks so much everyone. I feel less pressed now that I know that I am not the only one this has happened to.

I can feel a whisper, almost as Nupoet says letting me know that someone is there but it feels like a shadow making a shuffling noise.

I really appreciate and take on board the support. I'll sit and read and wait.

The fearful thing for me is that we are co-conscious all except for Megan who is either sleeping or hiding (I think sleeping since my medication was increased, and it's been increased again since DJ's heart attack), and if we are co-conscious why am I not hearing their thoughts? Why am I not hearing their conversations.

But again I really do appreciate your support and I am very grateful for it,

Love to you all,

Rhiannon

[anderson]

Hugs from all of us (((R))). Those within at times do the very thing we need to take care of each other without us being aware of what is going on.
just know that we are here and that we are thinking about you and all within.

[Eriksplus]

Not knowing what to say but offering support.

(Hill)Erik

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Rhiannonsmoon ))))))))))))))

[lonegael]

Rhiannon, it sounds frightening, and yet, in a way, it sounds like they know you can handl this, even if you don' think you can. It's good to know that they have given you some sign of life. I can generally hear a quiet mumble, but I rarely understand what he is saying, or a chuckle. Often now, it is also very quiet, but it is often a comfortable quiet. if it is uncomfortable, it is me who is uncomfortable, not the facets. generally speaking. I hope that things get cleared up soon so you feel better. I think you have been spectacular, doing all you have done. HUGGGGGSSSS!!!!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Thanks so much everyone! I really have felt comfortable reading that what has happened or not happened is not abnormal. But it was so frightful to think that everyone had fled from me. I felt so alone in a way I never had before. Since I ambled through your posts I feel more calm.

I heard Morgana yesterday and today, and miss meg playing with her dolls. Julia singing and Heleni playing Morganas' harp. It was surreal. I went within to see it, satisfied once I had; I came back up and the heaviest rain was falling and since we live in a super rural area our water turns brown so I usually top up the filter as often as possible before the rain stops. I'd been gone so long that the water had already turned brown in the taps...spooky