boundaries

<font color="purple"> Tomorrow we ( I, really) have to write an email to someone who we have considered to be a safe friend for a while now. Over the last two weeks this person has become very, very unsafe for us. She has stepped all over our boundaries. We have never had to do this before...boundaries have never been an issue...ever. In fact, when I talked to our T about this earlier, she agreed that one of the big things we have worked on is LOOSENING up our boundaries, particularly with her and our partner. I guess I am confused about how this happened. NO ONE has ever done this before. Has anyone ever experienced this? How did you handle it?

Warrier main protector/gatekeeper </font>

I am sorry but I cannot seem to read the pink print...pls be safe

<font color="purple">Sorry about that, it was awfully light...changed the color. </font>

Thanks I wasn't ragging on ya I just could not read it..I am glad you changed it so I can read it though Your problem with your friend sounds hard...But as you feel you need to set it I would as you FEEL a threat it seems or you would not want to set a boundary...You will find more people on in the week but I do not envy what you have to do..Its very hard at least for me to set limits.

HUGS

Hi serafimetal,
We had to do this just recently, one of our friends trampled our boundaries. We emailed the person to never come near us or contact us again.
You've got to protect yourself, we'd never had to do anything like this before either, but fortunately we shot off several emails in the heat of anger
Now all we have to do is keep stopping ourselves from emailing any kind of suggestion that we might accept an apology, it's hard if you trusted them before.
Lucy (protector)

I've had to talk to people about stepping on my boundaries. it helps to be firm about where they have crossed the boundaries and firm about telling them that it is NOT okay for them to do that. you have a right to your boundaries and your space. it was not right of your friend to cross them and it is okay to let her know it. i hope this went okay for you and that you were able to preserve the friendship but maintain your rights to your boundaries.

take care,
shadow

Did not go well...never got to write the email, confrontation instead. It was an ugly mess and we are feeling completely drained.

(((((((((((serafimetal))))))))))

Sorry it didn't go well. Be kind to yourself.

Caroline

{{{{serafimetal}}}}}

I'm sorry it didn't go well.

(((((serafimetal)))))
it didn't go any better with my ex-friend, even though I did get to email first. we have not been able to remain in contact because this "friend" seems to be incapable of stopping trampling my boundaries.

Sorry it didn't go well for you either Not all friendships can be saved, unfortunately.

(((((((((((serafimetal)))))))))))

i'm sorry that things turned out so rotten for you guys. confrontation is always a draining experience for me too. i hope you guys can take good care of yourselves for awhile, maybe spoil yourselves a bit to help you feel better. stay safe and if you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me, i'm usually around and i'm always happy to listen.


shadow

((((((((((((((( serafimetal )))))))))))))))) (if ok)

I'm sorry it didn't go well. Confrontations can be very upsetting and alarming. I hope you take extra care of yourself .