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#1
Oct 18, 2005, 04:29 PM
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H and I saw T today. H figured out it was me, Crystal, not w_i. (she's still in most of the time) Now I'm not sure I feel safe. I'm supposed to start talking to him about my memories of how things went, when I feel ready. Don't think I ever will.
We thought we were covering up so well. Now what... Crystal |
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#2
Oct 18, 2005, 05:03 PM
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Crystal, maybe it is time to talk. But only you will know that. What do you think? What do you want to do next?
All the girls oh i forgot to say..........heres a cuddle if you would like it.
__________________
 good things come to those who wait, and wait and wait |
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#3
Oct 18, 2005, 05:22 PM
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(((((Crystal)))))
Don't let t push you into stuff you & w_i aren't ready for  If h is starting to be able to tell who is in, all this stuff will come out in the end.  You have a right to be angry & h will just have to accept it.
__________________
 ZORAH
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#4
Oct 18, 2005, 06:03 PM
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Not sure I am ready to talk. We'll wait at least till T is going to be around. She isn't pushing, at least I don't think she is.
But is it a good thing or bad thing that H is starting to recognize us (me)?? So confused! Was easier when no one knew anything. Don't like this feeling of being exposed. I'm not very confident, don't stick up for myself, suck it up, go along, etc, etc. Scared of him taking control, which he does when I "shrink"...I hate that...he talks for me, about me with me there...that's what he did at the session today. At least T was there to re-direct to me to get me to talk. I wish things were the way they were before we started to talk. Crystal |
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#5
Oct 18, 2005, 06:37 PM
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i think it might be a good thing that h is starting to recognize the difference...maybe that means he's starting to acknowledge that there ARE differences and that he's going to have to get used to that... i hope that's what it means.
i completely understand not wanting that exposed feeling... it's never pleasant. i hope that you will feel better able to assert your own thoughts... you can speak for yourself and he apparently needs to learn that. you're very articulate here. i'm glad that T helps to redirect back to you.((((((((((crystal)))))))))))))) if you ever want to talk, or if i can ever be of any help, just let me know, ok?  shadow
__________________
i tear my heart open i sew myself shut my weakness is that i care too much the scars remind me the past is real i tear my heart open just to feel ~Papa Roach |
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#6
Oct 18, 2005, 08:59 PM
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It is a good thing if h can tell who is in, but hard to get used to when we're used to pretending there is only one of us.
 Since my h has learned to tell which one of us he is talking to, things have been easier most of the time (i won't lie & say he'll never throw it back at you, in an argument).  The fact that some of us hold unpleasant memories has led to some confrontation with the h, but we have resolved issues neither of us understood at the time they happened. Things will never be the same as before you all started to talk, but in the end things will be better.  Change is hard for DDers. Definitely wait till T is around before you talk, especially if h in habit of taking control. You will need T's validation if h resists reality of memories, or meaning of memories. (((((Crystal))))) You are doing a hard job well, we wish you could having nothing but good, but life's not like that.
__________________
ZORAH
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#7
Oct 19, 2005, 02:33 AM
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I think it is a good thing that H is starting to recognise the differences. In the long run it can only help. But I agree that in the short term it is scary. Take it easy and enlist your T's support.
Take care. C |
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