Not really here

having a real disconnected, disoriented, dissociating day. can't even tell whose in or out or remember what the next thing to do is.
think we are to go to the bank and do something with H's check.
we'll get it together I hope by 9.
Just so exhausted...

{{{{w_i and all}}}}}

it's after 9 and off to the shower--maybe it will help. feeling really down and defeated. had a "tiff" with H last night and it reminded me how i often feel not listened to. how in order to keep things *happy* i just let things go his way and not even try. oh well, put on the smile and keep going. not worth it. i don't matter anyway, i'm just a fractured pile of pieces...

You matter! (((((((((((((((white_iris and all)))))))))))))))

(((((w_i, The Constellation)))))

You shouldn't have to put up with that from the h.

The least he could do is listen, although it does seem to be something men have trouble with.

((((((((((all the stars in the constellation)))))))))))

you guys are all very important and you are NOT just a pile of pieces. you matter. it's hard to think about doing stuff just to keep things 'happy' when that only seems to mean happy for him...not happy for you. that's hardly fair. i think you should talk to your T about it and tell him that the next time you and H are in T together that you want to talk about how you are always shoved aside. that just isn't right, w_i. you have as much a right to your opinion and your happiness as anyone else. maybe your T can help H see how he's running over you and help him to stop. you are a person worthy of consideration and respect...to treat you any other way is wrong and unkind.

(((((((((((all of you)))))))))))) please take care and stay safe. if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.


shadow

story of my life---keep the peace, don't make waves, and all the other cliches.
memories filtering in
feeling really down and confused
what's the point?
healing for what?
by the time it all gets straight or changes, i'll be dead anyway...
w_i

WI, you are a person who deserves to be listened too. You should not have to put on a smile and keep the peace. It feels like you deserve more than that. Can you tell him, can you make yourself heard.

Its important for you WI to make yourself heard. I read what shaddow wrote and it sounds to me like a step in the right directiont. Speak to your T and make your H listen to you.

All the girls

sorry things feel so bad for you, w_i I agree with Shadow about talking to your T - either with h or on your own or both. I have found that just saying how things feel to my counsellor can help me to feel validated and that in turn helps me cope with situations.

Take care of you.

Caroline

(((((((((((((( w_i and all )))))))))))))))))

You're not just a pile of pieces, you all deserve to be helped and to help yourselves, you're worth it. I'm sorry about your argument with your h, but like Zorah says, men are not very good at listening .

w_i and everyone,

Read the Cocoon story. You are beating your wings against your cocoon right now. You will be free and you will soar.

Petunia

It is a good story. Thank you.
It is so difficult though and I am really afraid. There is so much to understand and so much I carry and it is so exhausting to try and work through all of this.
I never should have made myself known to anyone.
I should have stayed inside.
Now I am stirring things up and making a mess for WI to try and fix.
H and WI say my views are based on past things and that things are different now. But it all feels the same to me.
I am a part that needs to disappear.
I carry too much painful memories and negative views of H and the marriage.
Crystal

(((( Crystal ))))

I never should have made myself known to anyone.

I'm glad I'm getting a chance to know you.

Petunia

i'm glad that you are here so that i can get a chance to know you too.

(((((((((((crystal)))))))))))


shadow

(((((((Crystal))))))))

Hi Crystal

I'm glad to get to know you too.
Maybe the memories you carry need to be faced by both you and h so that all of you can move on? You have a right to be there; you do not have to disappear, you need to be accepted and loved.
Caroline