Losing time...?

hey

i would like you people to share with me how it is to lose time.

I am very used to day dreaming most of my life...yet when for a while, i was diagnosed with DID (Then T went back to PTSD diagnosis)

I can remember that the days - especially as a kid - seemed to me FAR MORE LONGER than it really was according to my normal "conscious timeline." According to what i knew that i did.

So it seems that i can lose myself completely in day dreaming when doing something, and then it seems like it was 5 or 10 minutes but its a whole hour...

But these days, (today) when i sit and do work and then lose concentration (it seems like floating in a gray fog) when i try to recall what the heck i was doing ALL THIS TIME - i see myself stretching with body movements and a mood that is not mine...but very happy and belongs to a rather masculine personality.

For many people with DID it is literally losing time, that it is to say that one can start the day at 8am and then find yourself at 5pm not knowing what you've done. That can be very scary and disconcerting. But there are varying degrees of it. Dissociation is a normal part of the human existence, many people do it when they are in a traffic jam without thinking. And it's a coping mechanism for those in traumatic situations. It is only a problem if it is happening often or disrupting your life.

well - i used to think i had attention deficit disorder.....but now i understand. I see that, also, i USED to do things like staring - which i would not remember. And i would also have this more - much more - since i started living on my own.

Around here theres two different concepts rotating around issues of time for dissociatives -

losing track of time
Time loss.

Losing track of time around here means you are doing things where you are not consciously aware of time passing ie watching tv, movies, daydreaming, driving, playing games, chatting on the computer, housework, homework, talking on the phone and not realizing you have been on the phone for hours.

in relation to the disorder DID the mental health community believe losing track of time is normal, everyone experiences this kind of losing track of time through the above but not limited to the above means of mental and physical activities

Time loss around here goes much deeper than the normal sense of time and not paying attention to what time it is and how much time has past like the above examples.

it literally is a loss of time.. one second you are talking on the phone and the next you are sitting in a school classroom with no sense of daydreaming, no sense of another alter taking over, no sense of feeling foggy, that quick here one second and here the next but literally there is no sense of what happened in between, another example one second you are shopping in a department store the next you are at your desk at work.

here the mental health community explains it as equal to a type of amnesia because you literally have no memory of what goes on between point A and point B.

Around here in relation to the disorder DID the mental health community place this time loss together with the diagnostic criteria of having forgetfulness that is more severe and cannot be explained by normal forgetfulness.

I have experienced both types of time loss. I can sit here on the computer intending to be on line for a short time ie 10 minutes, and end up being on line for half and hour or more because I was so busy online that I wasnt keeping track of the time. Now when ever I am doing something where I tend to not pay any mind to the passing of time I set an alarm clock for what ever passage of time I plan on.

Before I was co conscious and integrated with my alters there were lots of holes in my memories, though I have gained back a percentage of that lost time, there still are holes in my memories and theres no getting back some of those memories. for me those lost times christmases and other holidays of the past, important events that normal people have memory recall of for which I dont, they are lost time that I will never get back.

to find out which you experience in relation to your location, and mental health communities definitions where you are talk with your treatment providers. they can help you to understand the differences between losing track of time and time loss in relation to problems directly related to you.

here is my experience with loss of time.. i don't have DID (that I know of) - my other parts don't take control (that i know of).

i occasionally lose track of time, but not a whole lot.. as for actual loss of time - it's not generally large chunks of time and i'm not usually even aware that i've lost time until later when someone might refer to something happened during that chunk of time that i have no recollection of. and when that happens, i not only have no recollection of what they are talking about, but also realize that i have no recollection of the before during and after surrounding whatever it is that is mentioned (usually they will refer to a conversation and sometimes mention what we were doing when we had the conversation and i can't remember any of it.)

so i don't really know how long it lasts, but i imagine that it's not all that long - especially since i'm generally oblivious to it. the most i might experience as far as awareness goes is if i try to think back to like 'what did i do tuesday afternoon..' and may have absolutely no idea and can't remember. i've been trying to take time each day, toward the end of the day and walk through my days mentally lately to see how much i can remember. most days i do pretty well.

Thank you all for your wonderful input.

The REAL fearful thing that happened to me is recalling - after recalling many traumatic events - a very complex trauma of being kidnapped night after night as a 14 year old- for months...and then as a 15 year old forced to go there again with the same person is realizing that i actually have done MANY things that have no - that are THE OPPOSITE of me...the things that i would NEVER EVER do.

after years it was me becoming an abuser.
Those flash backs include horrible things... ruining outside AT NIGHT - all of this as a night life ... and doing crap like...
well...
....
....
grrr
now you will not believe me....

prostitution, theft, swimming in the sea when its cold. when the wave are high. (and loving it) also - of singing in clubs....? stripping....of committing worse crimes. That had to do with really horrific visions and a lot of violence and cruelty. protecting myself under almost impossible circumstances to survive... running outside at night naked..hiding in garbage cans, eating roaches. ...many things...

most of my life until 17 September 2010 i did not know this ever took place! Today it seems like ...well - that i start understanding ...maybe THEY take control...at home sometimes too!