[Rapunzel]

Hi. I know that I don't post in this forum very often. I'm not DID but I have other dissociative symptoms. The main thing right now is that there is a big split in me. One part of me is competent and professional and won't let people see signs of weakness. The other part is all the emotions and feelings, and that part is weak and scared. I'm aware of the parts, although when either part is in charge, the other part seems like it really isn't me. From the perspective of the feeling part, I can't imagine being able to do the things that I manage as the competent part, so it seems unreal and fake. It's just an empty shell. From the competent side, the feeling stuff just seems so out of control and embarassing and I just want to stomp on it and get rid of it, and I hate it when it gets to the point where I can't keep it hidden anymore. T wants me to synthesize these two parts, and learn to work together. The last thing they want is to work together. They have no use for each other at all. They hate each other. How am I supposed to put them together?

Rap

Hi Rapunzel

Wish I had suggestions for you but I don't. Just wanted you to know I hear you and empathise with you.

Caroline

[Rapunzel]

Thanks Caroline. Empathy helps.

Rap

[kimmydawn]

rap,

this is a toughie. what helps here is to find common interest that allow for a "sharing" of the sides...one where both are interested and an co-exist to achieve, complete, etc. (i.e. crafts, singing, gardening, hiking, searching for rocks).

i've had alot of "sharing" recently by doing that. only you know what kinds of interests that both sides of you will find appealing. it's hard but they're there. you may have to get really creative. make sure you're alone, and can give "all" to this. go into it with the goal to be that this is a shared activity.

once it's achieved, it's easier to achieve. i'm working on allowing it as often as possible. i'm to the point that, when i have time, it's a much easier thing to accomplish as i've figured out some common interest or draws.

gl!

kd

[Zorah]

(((((Rapunzel)))))
Some of my ppl despise each other, but once they learn to talk to each other (they haven't all done that yet) they realise that everyone's goals are the same, regardless of what techniques they use to achieve those goals. Some of them object to the means others use.
You don't have to merge them if you don't want to, whatever the t says, can't force the pace !!!!! Got to wait til they're ready.
Good luck be with you

[CedarS]

Writing, actually scrawling, in my journal has helped me with this. I either have one part write letters to the other and vice versa, or write out conversations between the two.

Having crayons or markers on hand might help, for instance I might find myself grabbing the red crayon and drawing out a big "I hate you!" and more.

Occasionally in therapy I've used the two chair technique, I move from one to the other and speak for that part.

((((((((((((((Rapunzel))))))))))))))

Sarah

[ozzie]

Rap, would it help to practice doing that while working with others? After a while of working well with others, you might be better able to work with yourself. It's just an idea I had when I read your post.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((rap)))))))))))))))))))))))))) i hope you're doing well today.

you've had some good advice here. i hope that some of it can be of some inspiration to you.

i've found that i require alot of self maintenance and "alone time" to do that. are you getting that time to work on this issue? for instance, i just took a two day "shut down" time here IRL in order to get some inside work done. are you making that time? i know it's so hard to make it, then to have the privacy necessary to allow "selves" to do whatever necessary without any "watchful eyes".

let me know your thoughts, ok? i really have alot of hopes for you right now.

kd

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((((Rap))))))))))))))))))))

[Rapunzel]

((((((((((Caroline, Kimmy, Zorah, Sarah, Ozzie, Fuzzy)))))))))

Thanks for the ideas and encouragement and for believing in me. Music might be a good common interest. I like to sing and play instruments, and that is theoretically something that requires feeling, although the competent side does take it over. Well, I can think of lots of things that the competent side really dominates that would be better if feeling were allowed to be part of it.

Alone time, or shut-down time really would be nice. I don't get much of that. The closest would be when I stay up past bedtime to work on stuff (usually either my homework from class or writing to T, and sometimes chatting), and I do enjoy that time when I get it, but then husband is mad at me for not going to bed, and I can't wake up on time in the morning, and I get irritable due to sleep deprivation. Sometimes I just need time to think by myself without lots of interruptions though.

This week for class we're on childhood development, along with origins of psychopathology, self-esteem, and parenting, and I have hardly even started on my reading. All of those subjects are likely to be triggery.

I need somebody to freeze time and give me a chance to think and sleep and get caught up.

[CedarS]

This has been an inspiring thread for me to read.

I like that idea of freezing time to give us time to sleep and catch up.

[Rapunzel]

Freezing time for a while to let me sleep and catch up would help so much. It would also help if someone would figure out how to teleport. And maybe it would also be nice to be able to create a clone of myself to handle some of the stuff that is too much for me. I just need a few magical powers - is that asking too much?