[Monty_girl]

I don't know how or where to even start this. But maybe KHBI^&$CRV^%$ER^&CD%E$RUY#%&F##EDGU^%#XD%$@^(B%U^$&


K, trigger warning as well
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My mother called this morning. You all know where this is heading. She called crying and freaking out saying she was going to try and kill herself again. She cried and went on about things. How she was a bad parent and that we all hate her now. That she's loney and that she has no money and she's behind on bills. Just pretty much that everything is falling apart for her. This went on for over 2 hours. She just completely drained me. But what am I suppose to do, let her hurt herself? She doesn't have any friends. She can't afford a T ( think she's to affraid to go as well ). She talks about the abuse she went through. I just don't know what to do. I actually don't blame her for the abuse anymore. Strange but true. I know she did the best she could with what she had and the situation she was in. And the fact that she didn't know how to be a parent. I'm tired of being mad at her and I honestly feel like I've moved past that anger at her. But she is so emotionally draining and needy. How can I turn my back on my mother who has no one. I mean no one to count on. She has no support from anyone else besides me. This is just so hard.
Monty

(((((((((((Monty girl)))))))))))))

I hear you.

Caroline

[allthegirls6]

Monty,

you are stuck between a rock and a hard place and Im srtuggling to come up with advice. I supose all I can say is that i really hear what you are saying. Its hard to turn away from someone, harder when its your mum. But it just seems like she is draining the life blood out of you.

Is there anyone else she can speak to, brothers or sisters?

Does she know the effect this is having on you. Its one thing to try and help, but its another when its at the expense of who and what you are.

ATG

[Monty_girl]

Thank You ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Caroline ))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Monty_girl]

Thank You ATG
It's hard because I am very stuck. My mother has one sister and one brother. She doesn't have contact with her brother, he's very abusive. Her and her sister don't really get along to well. The mother just feels very out of place with her.
As for us kids. My brother is not able to help her since he's sick with cancer right now it's hard on the whole family. My mother and my sister. Let's just say my sister drives my mother to hurt herself. My sister will just say mean things just to hurt my mother. My sister is not supportive to anyone but herself. I've watched my sister be verbally abusive to everyone in the family. So then it's me. I think she knows how it effects me to call. She said several times she was sorry that she called. I don't think she has or knows of anywhere else to turn. I've anyways felt responsible for her happiness.
Monty

[allthegirls6]

Mony, it seems like it really is you and there is noone else to help. Its a difficult place to be in and thats a fact.

I know you say you feel like you are responsible for her happiness, but you are not. Only one person is responsible for their happiness and thats the person themselves.

You have said that your mum cant afford T, is there anything else she can do. I dont know if she is on meds, or maybe the doctor could suggest something.
Its just that it seems like your little shoulders have a very heavy burden. Will you be able to keep managing with that. Has your mum taken any steps to look at her situation?

atg

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((monty)))))))))))))))))))))

i wish i could give you some great advice that would make it all just so easy. i sooooooooo know what you're going thru.

is there any way that you can give yourself some special since you've been so drained?

i wish i could take some of this for you.

love you,
kd

[dottie]

Hello Monty. I am so sorry you are experiencing such trials.
It sounds as though your Mom is suffering unmeasurable pain. It is pretty hard to turn your back on your own mother.

You could not be blamed, certainly, for putting up boundries for her. Something she would learn to accept in time..& something to make your life happier. Good luck. You are in my prayers girl.

TGC

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I've anyways felt responsible for her happiness.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Oh yes, I know that feeling. Know it too too well. I've no answers for you in your situation, but for me I am trying to learn to put me first SOME of the time (as opposed to never). I'm also trying to create a little bit of emotional distance. So listen and respond to what she may say, but I try to remind myself that it is her stuff not my stuff. I can't change the way she is. I can listen, I can suggest, I can sympathise - but that is all I can do. I can't change the way she feels.

But it isn't easy and I haven't got there by any means. Like you, my mum can push all my buttons and I still feel somewhat responsible for her feelings.

I agree with what kimmy said - try to give yourself some care.

Caroline

[serafim_etal]

<font color="purple"> I struggle with my FOO as well...buttons pushed just by seeing the phone number on my caller id sometimes. I don't have any advice, but I wanted you to know I heard you.

Sera </font>