Hugs aren't safe.

You hurt people if you give them

You hurt people if you get them.

Hugs used to be a good thing.

Now they are bad.

Hugs and no hugs hurt.

[allthegirls6]

Dont be upset Petunia. Im not sure what all the stuff is here about hugs etc, but in this forum, DID, hugs are fine. Please dont be upset.

I love hugs and I like to give them

((((((((((((((((petunia))))))))))))))))

Audrey

[dottie]

Pet...I am very sorry you are in poor spirits today. Why don't you share with us what is really bothering you. I'll wager ..the root of it is not really the hugs,,(giving them or receiving them. We are here to hopefully shine some light on others..but we can't do that very well if we don't understand the deeper issue. I have not been a member that long...so there might be some issues that I am not aware of. Sorry!

It's about hugs only being given to some people while others get left out, in the kudos forum.

[(JD)]

(((( petunia)))) SAFE HUGS ARE ALWAYS GOOD!!!!!

Remember, some members say things that only applies to them... not to everyone.... don't be sad... hugs are not going away!!!

[nothemama8]

hugs is good an they last if given by the right ppl,
Caroline we sent you a pm an hugs in Kudo's under Auntie Skys thread
Amy

[nothemama8]

Petunia we gots to be genteal with your hugs cuz we might smash your petals
Amy

[kimmydawn]

how about a pat of recognition...recognizing another's problems, pain, joy, etc.? pats can say a number of great things.

[wisewoman]

Petunia, how about snuggles instead, sending you warm snuggles and no pain along with them. Peace my friend.

[Fuzzybear]

I know, I am confused too......

Petunia

Furry Paws

[Gemstone]

{{{{{ Petunia }}}}}}

I don't get it either.

I like hugs though, and I like you.

I'm sorry you hurt.

Thank you Amy we saw and appreciated both.

As I have some problems with hugs I'd like to say what it is that makes me unhappy. I counted up hugs given and there are some people who have loads. That in itself is not a problem. But there are some people who have none. To see people posting hugs to a small group of people makes me feel like I am outside, missing out on something.
I don't want to stop people getting hugs. I don't want to stop people giving hugs. But I want everyone to get them. I have joined in loads of hugs (prior to recent times when things have been too hard for me to post much). But I feel sad that I have not been offered hugs (except here when I asked for them) even though I see the same names recurring frequently. I know others have close relationships and that is fine. I suppose I am just being selfish and needy again. I don't feel I belong. The Kudos forum makes me feel worse about myself because it shows me that I don't matter enough to be offered hugs there.

I don't want hugs to stop.
I just want the kudos forum to stop being dominated by the same names. It's not a criticism of the people receiving the hugs. I just feel so isolated, and lately I am feeling even more isolated here.

Hugs for those who have been upset by this. I never wanted that. I just wanted not to feel invisible, and for other people to have that recognition too, because I know how much it has boosted me when I have been given spontaneous hugs.

Caroline

[Fuzzybear]

[h0kie]

Caroline, I know exactly what you are talking about. No one has intentionally hurt you...but you're just "not important enough" to remember. I really think I get it.

((((((((Caroline))))))))

Confused about all the hugs thing...then again the brain is pretty fried right now.
Petunia, hugs aren't bad and they don't hurt me, does it hurt you when we give you hugs?? You are such a special friend. Don't let this wither your beautiful petals and bend you low. You are a beautiful person deserving of more than what you give yourself credit for. w_i
Carollne, I am so sorry that you are in such a dark place and feel so unimportant. You are important and the amount of hugs has nothing to do with that, I don't think. One good, well meaning, healing and heartfelt hug can do more than a bunch of hugs that are just given because...To you I give a heartfelt, healing hug and a prayer that you begin seeing your way out of the darkness. ((((((Caroline)))))) w_i

Petunia, hugs aren't bad and they don't hurt me, does it hurt you when we give you hugs??

I'm just confused.

People are upset that some get more hugs and kudos than others.

So now I feel bad because people do give me kudos. I don't ask for them. They just do it.

It used to make me feel good but now I feel it is wrong because it hurts peoples feelings.

Then if I give kudos, but not to everyone, again I am hurting someone's feelings.

Sometimes I PM the person with support instead. Sometimes that person doesn't want it. Or they tell me they are not worth the hugs and I am wrong for thinking that way and that I can't really see the pain they're in.

So I stop giving them.

And then they hurt.

And I end up feeling bad.

[CedarS]

Umbrellas and lifejackets and safe boats for us all. With flashlights and our incredible imaginations to help sail us through painful times.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Petunia I have gotten lots of hugs and wish all mine would go to those who get none or few....thats why I said in another thread if they ended Kudos I would not care cause I CANNOT keep up supporting people...asking for help myself and hugging everyone....sometimes I MISS DAYS of Kudos even weeks..It doesnt mean I didnt wanna support or hug someone..I just myself cannot keep up and so many get missed....Thats why I like to hig in threads and get them IN my threads ...but thats just me...and I wish all who wanted a hug could get them and those who dont would not

I think because we are such sensitive people who have been hurt and feel the pain of others we tend to react so much to other's pain and are so sensitive to others not seeming to get the Kudos or hugs or what ever that we get.

I myself often feel guilty for any extra attention or affection, yet it is something I crave...
Some people hurt so much that they don't know how to accept any support or affirmation. They don't feel worthy or good enouogh...been there. And you are d**ned if you do and same if you don't.

Well, I will take hugs, Kudos, support, help, lifejackets, whatever because for so long I neither asked for or accepted them INL, or anywhere. Others in my system have a hard time accepting these things and they will someday learn how. But till then...

There are many special people here and (((())))) to all
And to all a good night....wait wrong story...

[wisewoman]

I never go to Kudos, don't understand it and really like the ability to communicate with eachother this way. I hope we can all feel safe tonight to start a new week. And above all, PEACE.

[hillbunnyb]

bunny bumpies all around for all you sweeties
)) ) ) ) ))) ))) Sweeties (((((( ))))) of PC(((( ( ((

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))

grrrrrrrrr
Fuzzy

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

COUNT ME IN

[nothemama8]

Petunia and everyone who feels hurt,
with all the sharing an caring we do here we don't need Kudos forum, we gots better we gots us
Amy