Our T is gone for the week. Still accessible in emergency though. But we hae been doing some real introspective work this past few days and it is really scary to be becoming aware of things that have been so long out of reach. I am blocking and dissociating much right now. Trying to journal but parts are blocking the process. It is very weird to be hearing things and then when I go to write what I've heard, I can't remember and what I hear is turned to jibberish...
And someone has been talking to H about things that are important to know and it is like water through my fingers. Here for a split second and gone that fast, just out of reach again.
Need support please as I try to get some grip on something solid...feels very shaky.

[January]

(((((((((((((( WI )))))))))))))))))))

I am here for you. PM anytime. All of us here love and and support you.

Hugs,

Jan

[nothemama8]

we're here when needed
Angie

[CedarS]

((((((((((((((((WI)))))))))))))))))))))))))

We have solid earth for us all to sit on and stand on, and sturdy trees to hang onto. I'm reminding myself of this also, working to get grounded.

[Zorah]

((((((((((w_i))))))))))

PM any time if we can help, we found it pretty destabilizing too, but it's got a lot better.

We are here for the whole constellation.

[allthegirls6]

Im here for you. I know how hard it is when T is away and please feel free to PM me any time you want. I really will listen. I will always help

Atg

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((w_i))))))))))))))))))))

There is much revelation and much talking going on inside. so much of my family of origin history was squashed by the mother and hidden from me. Grandmother (mother's mother) told alot to me when very young, showed alot, taught alot to the young one. NOt sure how safe it is to share my story. There is such a psychic element to it. Not all bad. But it had a big impact.
Sorry I don't feel I am making any sense.
w_i

[Mahali]

W_I you make perfect sense. Don't worry about telling the story it will come in time when it is safe enough.

You sound like you are doing some positive work. Hard no question but productive. Stay very safe.

Here if you need.

[allthegirls6]

W_I you are still in my thoughts. I really do mean that Im here if you need anyone.

When is your T back. How are you managing?

Audrey

T will be back Thurs. but she is still on vacation so I don't see her till next Tues.
At least she will be in town.
got a call from her office and she has set up an appt for the psychiatrist tomorrow morning at 7 AM. that is scary and we aren't sure about it.
Last visit with a psychiatrist years ago was a bad experience...
Can't see the psychiatrist and T the same day, insurance won't cover both visits.
I just hope it will go ok.

(((((((W_i))))))))))))

I'm with you there.
Hoping both our psychiatrist visits go better than we expect.

C

My T told me that all the psychiatrist will do is get a medical/medication history so that she can make sure I am on the right meds. T has been concerned about the safety of the constellation, esp. since Deedee is so little and scared and Vicki likes to drink and is a pretty reckless teen sometimes.
I am really nervous.

[CedarS]

Can we all help somehow? Maybe with a distracting game or imagination, or would it help to tell us more about your fears and experiences?

[Mahali]

Hope all goes well for both of your visits.

[January]

((((((((((((((( WI & Constellation ))))))))))))))

Hugs,

Jan

saw pdoc this am. wasn't there for most of it. dissociated and don't know who was out. at least it wasn't deedee. don't know how much my T told the pdoc so the system was really protective and defensive. feel so stupid cuz i couldn't answer ??s regarding when i started therapy for how long, who did i see, after my last good T (know i saw someone...) when i started with therapy again...and other simpler things i should know...at least i knew my kids' names and ages...very rote replies.
well, got meds changed and an anti anxiety med added to it. guess it will be ok.
see T tues. aft. wish i could see her now or tomorrow.