Inner child work in Therapy?

Hi,

I was wondering for those of you who are working on your inner child, or who have done in the past, what type of activities did you do in therapy, aside from talking about your inner child? Did you do anything else to help that part of you during your sessions? E.g. play a game or something like that perhaps?

This question could also sort of be asked of those with DID who have child identities within which may come out during sessions?

I am just wanting to open up the ideas of alternative things to do during the session for inner child work?

Thanks

I have no idea, but I think you posted it in the wrong sub-forum, didn't you?

yeps oops sorry lol

I am too,trying hard to find the way and please let me know if you find anything because I feel it is so pesonally important to me. Thank you for the posting

hmm I am not sure if my answer is the one you are looking for BUT I will give it to you anyways and hopefully it helps;

I was given play therapy once, because I find it so hard to open up to people, so i guess they wanted to try the play therapy as a way to see if they could get my inner child to reveal any of my hidden thoughts, they knew they were their, but i just wouldnt let them out, I was taken to a therapist who specialised in it I guess, first thing I noticed about the room was that it was bright, with a little sand pit thing in the centre and shelfs filled with toys (which im not ashamed to say...i ran straight for, because I wanted to play with the mr burns toy from the simpsons ) I guess play therapy was more aimed for kids really, but oh well, basically she would let me paint, draw and just mess around like a kid and would try to interrpret my actions to be what might be happening in my mind, it was fun, it didnt help me, because i knew what she was doing and I wasnt ready to be 'fixed' at the time, But I can see how it helps, didnt have to say the words, she would just try to interrpret me.

My inner child work is becoming complicated. T and I have sat on the floor together and I showed her my journal. She gave me beanie babies to play with and let me take two home. I have well defined parts so my stuff may not really help you. Old T would have little girl come out by writing with my opposite hand. At the store last night I wanted to buy her a toy but she said no let mommy do it. I was surprised and angry. I post and read in this forum because I am not sure what is wrong with me. One of T's clients started a doll collection. Hope this helps.

That is a great question. When I was first diagnosed it was my inner kids that helped open up my system. I have learned that if they are upset (our inner kids) then the "adults" get all off center. So I have learned from the beginning to make sure the kids can have at least 1 day to wear what they want just as long as everything is covered on the body. yet in therapy our T told us go buy a coloring book, blocks and die cast metal hot wheels as they are cheap. That helped our inner kids to come out and not feel as afraid. So getting back to therapy, my T would say "would anyone inside care to come out and play with Ms. Sue?" They couldn't wait to come out.
Good Luck to all those choosing to work with parts inside. For us, we thank the children for holding us up.
Crew

Do you mean inner child as in that feelings, behaviors you get sometimes that reminds you of your childhood that every body regardless of mental disorder or not has, or are you using the term inner child for alternate personalities.

my therapist worked differently according to which it was..

with my alternate personalities she worked first on trying to establish communication, team work and trauma work with their traumatic memories, feelings.

after I was integrated and no longer had alternate personalities that were separate from me my therapist and I had times when we worked on inner child work meaning we were working on those times when I would feel like I did when I was a child. example I used in a thread on inner child work in the psychotherapy boards was one day I was eating an apple. a tooth fell out (the glamourous world of having dental bridges sometimes the false tooth will break free from the metal "bridge" attaching it to the two teeth on either side of it) So there I was eating an apple, my tooth fell out and I felt like I did when I was a kid - excited about the tooth fairy coming tonight lol.

this situation didnt need my therapists help I just reminded myself I wasnt a child anymore and no tooth fairy was coming then I placed the tooth in a baggie and called my dentist for an emergency appointment to have it anchored back in.

with more emotionally charged situations where I felt those pains, emotions / feelings from childhood my therapist would have me close my eyes, think about what I was like from back then, imagine Im in the room with the me I was back when those pains, emotions, feelings were stemming from, and tell that image of myself what I needed to hear, what I had wished the adults in my life would have said and done.

example -

Hi amanda, come sit here with me, may I hold you, no ok can I put my arm around you, you know problems get bigger if you dont talk about them and fix them but they go away if you tell someone and they help you fix that problem. whats the problem I would like to help you...

what ever I said to that mental image of myself as a child depended upon what was going on at the time.

worked for me and those past memories/feelings/ emotions from my childhood so that they would no longer affect my adult life.

It's helped me a lot to find a picture of a little girl to represent my inner kid. (I can't accept my own photos yet) I got a lot of memories from looking at it, which had been stuck in the subconscious. I've been able to open up more to T.
One of my obstacles is I've never been able to admit transference dependency on the T because I heard many times as a child, "I'm not your mother, go take care of yourself". My relatives said this hundreds of times after my mother was killed when I was one. My inner child is so afraid T will say it too that it sounds like a death sentence. Don't know how I'll get past that one. But seeing a picture that's approved by my Inner Kid helps me know how to protect her.

I have quite a large handful of inside kids (DID) and they like to go to the park with T, color, have her read stories, go roller blading with her, play kids games on the ipad, go out for ice cream with her, go on walks

Starry is that in your imagination, about T going to the park with you?
I would like ideas on how to get my inner kid to open up to T.

Good question. My ex-therapist and I spoken about inner child telling me I need to parent my inner child and help the inner child do things that my parents should have been doing as parents, but never did. I was thinking 'how do I do that? How do you parent yourself? Do you need kids in order to do it?' I felt confused and after therapy, I have been trying to "parent my inner child" to do/learn the things my parents should have taught as a kid and I can hear myself starting to cry when I can't figure something out and give up.

She didn't give me any assignments on working on my inner child. I was trying to do something at home and got very frustrated at the object, I could feel the tears in my eyes that's what I've always done when I was a kid is cry over it and get bored with it then leave. Nobody told me to work at it until you get it, how could I do that when I was called every name in the book daily?

I am still trying and feel like I am not doing a good job "parenting the inner child." I was asking myself 'how does a loving parent talk to their children when they are struggling? How do they do it?' My ex-therapist expected me to work on it on my own...really? Why even go to therapy?

how to do that....well that depends on what inner child means to you....for some people inner child means the therapy technique of everyone has times when they feel like a child, react like a child... how to parent this kind of thing is by doing things for yourself like a parent would....make sure you eat correctly, get enough sleep, be kind to yourself, calm yourself down when you are feeling like a child, reacting like a child...

example the other evening something made me angry, made me want to throw a temper tantrum, just like a child would. I calmed myself down with...self talk... relax amanda, take a deep breath its not as bad as it seems, we are out in public we cant just sit down, kicking and screaming, its time to calm down and take it one step at a time. heres some paper lets shred some paper, now take another deep breath lets take a walk and see what things we can see....

if you are talking about inner children as in the mental disorder DID well thats a bit more complicated. you have to first develop whats called co consciousness... thats being aware that, that alternate personality exists, and then find a way to communicate with that alternate personality, then set rules/ boundaries, work on what ever traumatic events this alternate personality holds......in other words you need a therapist for this kind of work with this kind of "inner child" most people with alternate personalities take years and years to learn about their alternate personalities and supply their alternate personalities with what ever that alternate personality is....example when I found out my alternate personality Rainy existed and that she cried, loved soft blankets and rag dolls I bought soft blankets and rag dolls and left them in each room so that no matter when I switched into that alternate personality as Rainy I would be able to use the blanket and rag doll.

My ex-therapist never said anything about me having alternate personalities, just told me to parent my inner child. So, do things like a parent would do for their child, huh? May be I should observe more how parents teach/help their kids. Nobody in my life told me as a kid to parent my inner child, back then, I never heard of inner child.

parenting your inner child has a healthy ring to it and can be an ultimate goal. But one thing that can happen, very anti-therapeutic, is to skip out on the Transference relation with the therapist. It is that person-to-person relationship that makes you well, not just going it alone (which is what we've tried already!) We have a strong tendency to be loners and to have attachment fears that can only be healed by a therapist.

I've realized that being a parent to myself comes at the end of therapy, not the beginning or middle. I read John Bradshaw's book, "Homecoming" where he's very strong about this self parenting idea. I realized I was completely cutting my therapist out of the picture and actually causing my DID and bonding avoidance to be much worse. So, it's a two-sided coin. And if the idea of being a parent to my own self makes me feel lost, alone, and resentful, I'm pushing myself in to a more advanced stage than I'm ready for.

I was given this idea the other day - only to come to realize I have been doing this since I was a little girl. I have been comforting myself when I cry, comforting myself in my head when I feeling like I am going to have a mental breakdown, etc. I am going to work on trying to look back and imagine going to the park, reading books, being nurtured as a baby, etc. but I just don't know how that is going to work out for me. I know it isn't real, and I do not have faith that I am going to be able to trick myself into believing it was/is real.

Yes - I have found that as I have done this by myself over the years (as a child, nobody told me to do it, I just started comforting myself by doing it) it made me feel very, very alone.