resisting "homework"

Have been doing reading on DID and looking at the "activities", "homework" whatever you call it in the different sources. T is reading at the same time, so is H. But I don't want to do the "homework"--it's not that I don't want to feel better or get better, but seems like there is much resistance inside to doing the RX'd work.

One part is afraid that getting better means "going away" even though T has reassured her that's not true.
Another says "I just can't do that"
other excuses abound.

Anyone else have this problem? How to get cooperation, lessen resistance and work at it???

w_i

Take ideas from what you know about each memory piece then form activities around them. Some of my memory pieces draw so alot of my activities involve drawing. Some like crafts like making things out of card board and shoe boxes so some of my activities involves that. Some of my memory pieces enjoy cooking so some of my activities revolves around cooking, Some of my memory pieces write so some of my activities are writing, some like biking and walking so I have activities scheduled around that too. any activity can be make into an activity for DID therapy. I think my blog explains some of them. The book Amonst Ourselves by Dr Tracy Alderman and Karen Marshall is also a great starting point for activities.

myself--that's the book that T, H and I are using to get started. Problem is, none of my insiders want to do any of it. It seems too scary for them or something. If I try to start something, it gets sabotaged by someone else...

appears to the outside we don't want to work on this or get better...
Maybe we don't????????
w_i

maybe its the idea that youhave to do it that is making it hard. When someone tells me I HAVE to do something or I plan something that I absolutely HAVE to do I have more trouble doing it because I prefer the no deadline and a way out if I need it approach. do you and your memory pieces like to cook?. if so start out by making something you like and want to do. It could be as simple as putting pudding and milk into a jar and shaking it until its ready to eat (about 3-5 minutes). When you put the pudding into the jar just do a quick dip the finger in to feel the texture, or taste what the dry pwder tastes like before adding milk. You just did DID therapy - reconnecting with a sense taste or touch. You are sitting at the computer logged in here. Just take a quick moment to notice what colors make up the page you are reading - You just did DID therapy - connecting with the sense of sight. To make posts you are using your senses of touch (fingers hitting the keys), sight (seeing what letters you are typing). Are you drinking or eating while at the computer if so you are in touch with your senses of taste, thirst and hunger, and textures (what the food feels like in your mouth) thats DID therapy. When taking a walk notice anything new around you - what your eyes are seeing, what your nose is smelling, sense of touch pick a flower or notice how cold or hot it is. Once you develop this habit of noticing things in your present life according to your 5 senses and emotions the other detailed work of reconnecting with the memories will fall into place more naturally and you wont have to work so hard at getting all the memory pieces to agree because they will already be naturally falling into place without an effort or have to do's deadlines and so on. I have a great recipe that I like to do called pistachio torte I will post it in the recipe section. Its fun, tasty and ooh soo enjoyably messy hands on type recipe.

thanks--the senses aren't as much of a problem as the emotions. No connection with them at all. That is the area most need of work. there are no tears, no crying, not much of anything...I do laugh at times but rarely and it usually is a little that is doing the laughing. Anger is carried by Amber and not shown.

BTW, i don't have a sense of smell...odd, but true. Smell center is one of the first to develop and mine never did. I have a very strange way of "tasting" smells that others don't maybe nature's way of compensating. I am also extremely sensitive to oders, tho I don't smell them. body reacts different ways to different oders.
w_i

with me connecting with my emotions was connecting to the senses. for example touching my cat. the fur feels long and soft and his purring vibrations. so when I pet him I would notice emotion wise I became more "relaxed", "Comfortable", and "soft/lightness" which is the feeling of "happy".

connecting with emotions does not necesarily mean having to feel extreme crying or extreme anger or doing cartwheels happy.

Feelings come from what is experienced with the five senses. For example drinking hot chocloate after coming in from the winter rain makes me feel warm- I can feel the heat as it travels down through my body. Drinking iced tea on a hot summer day makes me feel cool - I can feel the coldness going through my body cooling me off.

There are so many ways to express a feeling. Sad can be decribed as feeling down, depressed, weepy, long faced, unhappy, Angry can be discribed as feeling hot, mad, furious, enraged, Happy is being elated, up, Feeling anxious is feeling butterflies in the stomach, cant sit still, nervious, panicy,

What makes me feel these things is what I am experiencing by what I am hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, touching or how they are being touched. So by being in touch with the five senses Im in touch with how I feel.

A popular therapy exercise my therapists never failed to ask me to do - Go to a playground or mcdonalds play area and watch the children if someone is telling them something mean they feel angry and upset, when someone is helping them play or the just whized down the slide that makes them feel happy.

Eat a raw slice of lemon. It tastes sour so I feel sour my mouth puckers up and goes ooooo.

Your post says you are extremely "sensitive" to odors. "Sensitive" is an emotion / feeling.

You may not be able to smell with the nose but the rest of your body has tuned in to the sense of smell making you feel sensitive.

It takes practice but you know at first I had to keep reminding myself to "feel" by asking myself questions - what does this chair feel like - hard but smooth because it is sanded and varnished wood the corners tickle my fingers, What do I feel inside me - glad to be sitting I can feel where the chair ends and my body starts I really need a pillow on this chair. What does this blanket feel like - soft, furry and warm, What or how does it make me fell - warmer soft and comfortable. Now its so much a habit that it exhausts, makes me tired trying to make myself stop thinking about feeling when I want to take a break. One weekend I told myself that I was not going to do any awareness work at all. and I found myself saying stop it you're not supposed to be feeling remember this is a just be weekend. LOL

Its hard beginning to be connected tto the five senses and emotions the senses make you feel but once you have it its there. Take care.

How do you know which emotion is happening when you do things? If someone is screaming at someone, they are probably angry. If they cry, they're probably sad. How do you know what the other ones are, especially if they are not in the extreme?

First I pay attention to what the object or thing that I am touching, tasting, hearing, smelling, and seeing. Then I ask myself questions of so I match those same feelings.

Its hard starting out. I had to start with things that were extreme like tasting a lemon, smelling an onion, putting very warm to hot water in one bowl and ice water in the other bowl and lutting my hands in both at the same time by having one hand in ice cold and one in the warm-hot water and comparing them and my reactions. like with the hot and cold waters - the cold made my hair on my arms stand up and I had the urge to keep taking my hand out where as with the warm-hot the warmth traveled up my wrist into my arm and I wanted to take a both to feel my whole body all warm like that. So then I asked myself which one I like and which one I didn't at the moment. "Like" is a feeling. not defined or detailed but is a feeling and emotion. So I started there.

As time went on I experimented more with trying to find other ways to explain why I liked something or did not like something -

the water was too "cold" so I felt the "cold". The water was warm so I felt warm. the wood chair is "hard" " ungiving" so my butt feels "hard" on it where as a couch is soft and giving, when I sit on that I sink down in "softly" making me want to sit longer -why because I am "comfortable".

All those words in " " are feeling type words. By making comparisons of two opposites and my physical reactions to them I could find the words for what I was feeling.

Its kind of like going back to the baby toddler stages of learning. I had to shut off physically reating and feelings because I was abused so now I had to relearn how to feel again. The way a person learns how they are feeling is by paying attention to ther physical reactions. A person first learns likes and dislikes by crawling around as a baby/toddler by putting things in their mouths, touching things, making noises by hitting and playing with toys, smellig flowers, pepper and everything else they can try to smell. As an adult to learn about feelings again I had to go back to that basic step of experimenting and trying things and paying attention to my physical reactions. My physical reactions tells me what I am feeling.

I didn't worry about trying to find the exact and detailed feeling of being mildly happy versus estatic. That just fell into place on its own with the experience of being tuned in to the main opposites of liking and disliking, hating and liking, happy and sad, hard and soft, sweet and sour, and so on.

Thank you so much myself. I did not know that those kinds of things were feelings or emotions . . . they are the same thing, right, feelings and emotions? Senses are what leads to feelings and emotions? Is that correct? I'm not sure if I am really in touch with those kinds of things... at least to recognize them. I do know fear but I guess even with that, I don't know what it does or how it makes me feel other than it's not nice. But, "not nice" is a feeling, right? Sorry to sound so ignorant on this whole thing. It almost feels like a high level science class that I am going into without prerequisites.

It is pretty confusing. Perhaps parts are scared white iris? Maybe it is not that you do not want to get better, but the unknown is scary and that leads to resistance? I wish you well in your journey toward healing.

Yes persieving something as "not nice" is experiencing a feeling. It is the feeling of dislike, not likeing something. Yes emotions is just another word for fellings. yes the five senses - hearing, taste, touch, smell, sight is what leads a person in to felling what they do. LOL I know the feeling but there is no prerequisit for finding your feelings. Try taking only one sense at a time to pay attention to for example sight- look at a variety of things and colors and pay attention to which ones you like or not like, those that you find look nice and those that you find don't look nice to you.

Thanks so much myself. I had no clue. I am definitely going to try out some things and see what happens with it. Thanks again.

you're welcome.