Depersonalization?

The "Depersonalization Disorder" page sent me here, so I'm sorry if this is the wrong place.

Now I know something is, not working right in my head. I don't want to be that person that wants to be labeled, but at the same time without exploring what could be wrong with me, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm unable to function in life very well, never have been, so what better time then now to try to find a way to help myself.

P.S. I realize this isn't a substitute for going to a professional, but I don't feel comfortable going to one at the moment, for I don't know exactly what's not normal. What is it about me, that makes me not function and be able to life like everyone else.

Borderline Personality Disorder, and Depersonalization Disorder, are two Disorders I've read up on that I can relate to the most.

And I guess I just want someones opinion on what I experience that I relate to as "Depersonalization".

I have these moments alot, where I'm talking, yet i feel out of body, like i'm not saying it. It's usually when i'm saying something that i'd never say, such as excessive anger, or showing a sense of grandeur (sp?).

I also have a lot of thoughts in my head, and things i hear in my head that don't seem like things i'd think of or say. Also i deal with a lot of anxiety in social situations and have the poorest self esteem ever, but that's whatever, unimportant.

Oh one more thing I wanted to add, I have a lot of memories, that i don't totally relate with. Like it's not mine, like i can't remember being there... that sounds totally weird cause then how would i have that memory, but I have no better way of explaining it...

Anyways any input on if you can relate, or possibly direct me to place/section I should look at, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

the only thing I can say about this is that what you wrote can be any mental disorder, any physical disease /disorder or even completely normal for you.

only a treatment provider can tell you which it is.
we cant tell you what this is.
we can tell you what these things were called in us by our own treatment providers.

my treatment providers have said in me these same symptoms are

dehydration
poor diet
bipolar disorder
anemia
lack of vitamins
puberty (when I was a teen)
growing pains
hormone imbalance
seasonal depression
possibly multiple sclerosis
possibly muscular Dystrophy
dissociation
mania episode
psychotic episode

and many more..

my suggestion please stop trying to self diagnose if thats what you are trying to do. you can end up doing more harm then good to your self.

contact your medical doctor and that doctor can rule in/ out any physical problems and refer you to appropriate mental health care that can help you discover what the problem is with in your body.

I haven't got much knowledge about disassociaton disorder, but did notice the part where you said you weren't ready to see a professional.

I know that feeling. You try and figure out over and over again what is wrong.
Lots of people find it difficult to talk to a professional about what is wrong unless they understand and know what they are talking about. But try to see it that way, if you go to a doctor saying your tummy is hurting, you don't know exactly what is wrong neither. A psychiatrist/ psychologist/ psychotherapist are trained in mental disorders. They are trained to look out for symptoms you won't find on the internet. And... They are very sympathetic and helpful. You only benefit by seeing them.

I hope you find the answere you are looking for.

I've had depersonalization disorder for over 6 years now, so I hear where you're coming from. But I had to go through all the physical tests first (mri, catscan, blood work, xrays, etc. before I knew for sure that it was mental and not physical. Unfortunately, there are still way too many phycologists out there that don't have a background in DPD, so they all just assume its depression or anxiety, and it may just be, but I've been on multiple medications, been to multiple shrinks, and still this world is one giant dream to me. But you must go get all those physical tests done, I understand you're not comfortable seeing a doctor, but it really is in your best interest to do so. It could be as simple as you don't have enough iron or b12, anything is better than DPD cuz not enough professionals know about it to really be of any help. I kind of just wake up every morning hoping its gone, but it just never is. Hopefully one day it will be, but until then I do what I can. But seriously, get to a doctor, you symptoms may be easier to cure than you think.